i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>

Chapter 11

( not proof read )

•* SHUICHI POV *•

It had been a few days since I had seen Kokichi. When I had awoken from our sleep together, he was gone. I of course didn't blame him, there is still so much mystery around Kokichi I have yet to solve but I know that he is hurting.
Maki, Kaito, Kaede and I were lounging in the games room, Maki beating Kaitos ass at a first person shorter game on a huge flat screen TV and Kaede and I perched on a couch to the side of them.
Kaede shuffled in her seat, she seemed uncomfortable, or rather, she seemed on edge.
"Kaede?" I questioned and she jumped at the sound of my voice.
"God Shuichi you scared me, is everything ok?" She asked her breath slightly short.
"That's what I wanted to ask you, you seem... tense."
She paused, looking at me with sincerity and smiling.
"Do you mind if we talk in my room?" She asked uncertainly, her brows furrowing and a bead of sweat trickled down her face. Somethings seriously bothering her.
"Of course..." i replied, now a little scared myself, I had never seen Kaede in such distress.
We got up together and excused ourselves from the room, not that Kaito or Maki cared they were too busy trying to prove each other wrong.

We walked together down the empty hall until we reached Kaedes room. As I walked in I was greeted by a colourful light. Kaede had put up pink lights and had decorated her room with light purple and pink origami that hung from the ceiling, her music sheets were spilling from her desk onto the floor but I noticed that some were scribbled out with strong permanent pens. Kaede perched herself on the edge of her bed and i sat on what, was presumably her doctors chair.
"Shuichi I-" she paused,
"I regained a lot of my pregame memories last night."
There was a long silence.
"W-what were they about?" I stuttered our starting to get nervous.
"Shuichi I'm worried about you." Kaede said hastily ignoring my question which made me suspicious. She started fidgeting with her bed sheets and looked at me with a worried expression.
"We were close, back then I mean, but- and I don't really want to be the one to tell you but, you were dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

That word, it had never been associated with me. Shy Shuichi Saihara, loving Shuichi Saihara, Leader Shuichi Saihara but never, dangerous.

"Listen I think it's best for you to find out by yourself when you get your memories back but i just wanted to warn you." Kaede said hastily as if she feared I might do something to her at any second.

I was perplexed. I didnf understand. Yes of course I knew I was shady, maybe a creep even, but dangerous? No, no she had to have seen someone else, that couldn't have been me!

But that wasn't you.

Kaede's footsteps brought be back to my senses and I stood up automatically.
"Thank you for telling me I guess, I'm still very confused." I said with a nervous laugh as we both exited her room. She didn't speak, just nodded and smiled before disappearing towards the library.
I stood there for a few seconds, completely hopeless of what to do.

With no where to go, I suddenly heard a growl from my stomach which was a good enough excuse to head towards the cafeteria. Swinging the doors to the cafe open, I stepped inside and glanced around. A women with raven black hair sat alone at a table, sipping on a cup of what I presumed to be tea. Her composure was elegant and posh as she sat with a straight back and half closed, bright red eyes. I suddenly noticed she was wearing a black and white lab coat which meant she was one of the staff and a survivor of a killing game.
"H-Hey excuse me?" I called out weakly. She turned her head to look at me, a constant smile plastered on her face which made me feel eerily reminded of Kokichi.
"You must be Shuichi Saihara, am I correct?" I nodded.
"Come sit, you seem distressed."
Her voice was a mixture of accents i could not quite place and as I drew closer and sat opposite her, her eyes followed me like a hawk as if she was expecting me to lash out.
"My name is Taeko Yasuhiro, but you may call me Celeste if you like." She said with a formality i could never match.
"It's a pleasure" i mumbled smiling awkwardly.
She sipped her tea and put it down on the table before focusing her full attention on me.
"There's something troubling you isnt there."
I was taken a back for a second by her bluntness .
"Well, yes there is, do you remember much of your pregame life?" I asked meeting her gaze.
Celeste paused for a second, collecting her thoughts.
"Yes I do, it wasn't pleasant but I do not want to discuss me I have a feeling that you are struggling with your pregame self correct?"
"Well not exactly, I think I was a bad person, like really bad, but I don't remember anything yet."
"Listen to me Shuichi, your doctor may tell you to control or suppress those emotions from your past self but that will do you no good. The best way to deal with them is to accept them. If you were a bad person back then so be it, that person whether you like it or not is you and you must accept that." Celeste said in a harsh yet still formal tone. She gave the impression that she knew what she was talking about.
"But first you will need to remember what those memories are before you can work with anything, so best not to worry." She got up and patted me on the shoulder before exiting the cafeteria.

That night it was difficult to sleep, I tossed and turned in my dark blue sheets hoping against hope that I would find out everything and yet, I was scared of what I would find.
As I felt myself skipping consciousness and as the room faded to black, I entered a new world, wearing a school uniform and a black hat on my head.
word count: 1063

n o t e s :
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !!! But its cliff hanger time baby I cant wait to continue this when I have the time thank you for 5K by the way !!!!