i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>

Chapter 3

-* SHUICHIS POV *-

I turned the page of a detective novel I was deeply invested in. Kyoko and I were currently sitting together on a sofa in the library. She had been kind enough to show me the detective novel section as she also loved reading and also showed me a few novels I should read. We sat there in comfortable silence, only the sound of page turning and my soft chuckles as I scanned the words on the page.

"Kyoko?" I perked up, putting a fold in the page I was on and putting it down beside me.
"Yes Shuichi?" Kyoko responded, looking up from her book.
"Do you mind if I ask a few questions about danganronpa?"
She paused, it seemed like she was analysing the question and how much information it holds.
"Of course go ahead I'll answer your questions as best I can, although forgive me if I am not able to answer them all, I only know a limited amount of information."
I nodded understandingly.
"How many seasons of danganronpa has there been?"
"Your season was the 53rd it's been going on for quite some time now every season gets positive responses so they keep putting out more, although I'm not sure if they will anymore." Kyoko replied sighing as she put her book down. I looked at her confused,
"Why would they stop it if it's been going on for so long?" I asked.
She chuckled a little as if she was expecting me to know why,
"because of you."

Me? Me?! Why me? Was it because of what I said in the last trial? But no one takes me seriously so why would they? I'm just a small insignificant kid who didn't want to see my friends die. That isn't enough to stop a popular show. I have no power. I'm weak. So why would Kyoko bring up me? I cant  change anything.

"SHUICHI !!"

I jumped in surprise, my head snapping up to look at a slightly concerned Kyoko.
"Are you ok? Is something the matter?" She asked worriedly.
I let out a shaky laugh and gave her a weak smile.
"Ah yes I am I'm sorry, it's just I don't think I have made that much of a difference." I explained, my head drooping slightly, looking at my feet.
"I'm just a kid, and even if I was the protagonist of the game I don't know I just... don't feel like I did a good job, I don't feel as if I made a difference," My hands became fists and my fingers turned white.
"ALL MY FRIENDS WENT THREW HELL! AND I COULDNT STOP IT!!"
White hot tears cascaded down my face and onto my lap as I stare at Kyoko with a pained expression.

"Shuichi you need to snap out of it." She said harshly crossing her arms and looking at me with a confident expression. I was lost for words and just sat there waiting for her to continue.
"Your stunt at the end of the last trial did more than you small mind thinks, your worries and anxiety are getting in the way of your ability to think positive and think logically." She spoke calmly but it didn't feel like a lecture, it didn't feel like she was pitying me, it felt like... a wake up call.

"The game is designed to make people kill eachother, not even the protagonist can save them so don't go beating yourself up over it." She continued sharply.
"You did well Shuichi so be grateful you and your friends are all alive." Kyoko stood up and put a hand on my shoulder before walking towards the door.
"Now go find your friends, your like me, you'll only get more depressed by yourself" she flashed me a smile and left.

"Y-yes ma'am.." I said as she left, feeling a little dazed, but she's right.
I got up from where I was and noticed Ryoma entering the library.
"Hey Ryoma! How are you?" I asked as I walked up to him.
He gave me a small smile.
"I'm alright Shuichi, what's up?"
"Just wondering if you wanted to hang out?"
"With me?" He said looking at me strangely. I guess I understand we haven't exactly talked much but I do think he is a little like me and a calm person to be around.
"Yeah...I know we haven't hung out much but I'd like to get to know you better." I responded smiling.
He gave a chuckle.
"Sure Shuichi that sounds fun."

•* KOKICHIS POV *•

As I hugged my knees and whiped my tear damped face, I looked up at the bland ceiling of my room, letting my legs and arms fall onto the bed. I winced as my bones hit the hard mattress below.
"Why do I feel so scared?"
I asked myself as abnormal shivers ran down my spine. My dull yellow and purple eyes scanned the ceiling with a lifeless gaze.
"Kokichi? Are you awake?" I heard Hajime call from outside the door.
"Come in Hinata-kun~~~!!!" I called out in my normal, fake over excited voice.
He entered, looking at me with a stern expression.
"I thought I told you to stop using that fake voice, it'll only make you feel worse," Hajime scolded as he ruffled up my hair and patted my head. He sat down beside my bed, his light green and red eye scanning the depressing state of my living space.
"Listen Kokichi, and please don't interrupt me-"
I smirked one of my many variations of fake smiles.
"Well see Hinata-kun~!!" I replied with a sickly sweet tone. He rolled his eyes at me and continued.
"You need to get out of this room, I know you are too weak to walk so I've set it up with Mikan so that she can get you a wheel chair, knowing you it's going to be extremely hard for you to recover when you are stuck in a room with your thoughts"
"Go on~~~" I smirked, pretending as if I didn't feel sick to the stomach about the idea of going out of this room and other people seeing me.
"Chiaki is holding a group therapy session, this isn't optional Kokichi, your going, you don't have to talk although it would be better if you did but-"

"No"

"Kokichi-"

"HAJIME FUCKING HINATA IF YOU MAKE ME LEAVE THIS ROOM I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL THROW MYSELF OUT THAT OPEN WINDOW"

Hajime pinned my thin, bony wrists down to the bed. I squirmed and struggled screaming for him to get off of me. He didn't move.

After a few long minutes of struggling I saw a tear falling from Hinatas face.

"Hajime-"

"NEVER TALK ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF EVER AGAIN!!" Hajime pleaded more and more tears streaming down his face as he let go of my wrists and pulled me into a tight hug.
"Please Kokichi," he whispered desperately.

"It's not worth it, you'll be ok, I promise."

My shaking arms settled themselves around Hajime as I hugged back. Tears were streaming down my face as well as I bit back the urge to scream.

After a few minutes Hajime let go.
"I'm sorry for crying Kokichi it's just you remind me a lot of my boyfriend and you are my patient so you mean a lot to me."
I gave him a watery smile, not wanting to speak in fear of crying more.
"Will you try go to the group therapy session, please?" Hajime croaked, looking at me with a pleading expression.
I hesitated.
Waaah Wahhh Kokichi crying his eyes out how pitiful!!!
You think that anybody at that fucking group therapy shit is gonna care ?! About you ?! Save your breathe
It's better for you to just die ya know
You lying
Ugly
Stupid
Disgusting
Whor-

"I'll go."

word count: 1311

n o t e s :

chapter 3 done !! Sorry for being so depressing idk why I live making Kokichi suffer but although this isn't the longest chapter in the world I enoyed writing it!! Thank you for 100+ reads :000 it's only been 2 chapters how-