i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>

Chapter 9

•* SHUICHIS POV *•

Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I shuffled around in my seat. I was seated in the cafeteria in which Rantaro had told me to go a couple hours prior. All I knew is that Kokichi was coming but I didn't know what to expect. I pushed a lock of dark, midnight blue hair behind my ear and straightened my clothing, trying to look at myself threw the reflection of the glass of water infront of me. This week, the hospital had allowed us to chose our own clothes and gave us a catalog to pick from or get clothes sent from family or friends. Having had no news from my uncle or parents, I chose a black turtle neck, a single chain and some black ripped skinny jeans with a studded belt. Emo, I know. The turning of the door handle snapped me back to reality and I jumped a bit at the sudden noise. Kokichi, in his wheel chair, was being rolled in by Rantaro.

We stared at eachother breifly, my hazel eyes meeting his amber and purple ones. For a moment, time seemed to stand still and an overwhelming urge to protect him seemed to fester and grow within me. I pushed down these feelings and broke the eye contact focussing more on how he looked. Kokichis whispy, purple and white hair was a little less messy than prior, tied up in a messy bun at the back of his head leaving small wisps of hair that draped over the sides of his small, pale face. His hands shuffled in his lap, grabbing the sleeves of his oversized pastel purple jumper and short black shorts could just be seen from underneath it. While I was happy that Kokichi seemed to look better what striked me as odd was how he wasn't wearing his signature scarf. I brushed it aside as they approached.

"Hey Shuichi, sorry we're late I hope you didn't have to wait too long," Rantaro said apologetically.
"Oh don't worry at all I got here early anyway I uuuh didn't wanna be late." I looked down nervously. I thought I heard Kokichi chuckle and I looked up only to find his hair covering most of his face so it wasn't visible.
"Anyway i got a run catch you later guys." Rantaro said and he walked to the door and left me and Kokichi together. A silence drifted across the room towards us as we sat uncomfortably until.
"Listen Shuichi, if you don't mind.." Kokichi spoke up in a completely different voice to his usual playful one.
"I-I realise I'm a bad person and I've said some awful and inexcusable things," Kokichi started still not looking up. Until finally he faced me, I could see the raw emotion in his eyes, the look of a lost, damaged, hurt boy that just wanted to be loved but felt like he didn't deserve it.
"I don't know if I can be a better person, I don't know if I can do that but Rantaro keeps saying I need people in my life and while I don't care about my life, I know that I'm hurting Rantaro by being this way and I hate that I'm doing that." Kokichi said with a shaky voice, his fists were white as he held his hands together in his sweater.
"Shuichi, would you, this sounds silly, wanna potentially be, maybe or not I don't care but maybe, we could be friends?"

I couldn't help but smile. Kokichis face was something of such purity and innocence that i would go to hell if I said no to him.
"Of course Kokichi," I replied pulling him into a hug, which he flinched at, but slowly lent in.
We stayed there for a couple minutes before he broke the hug.
"So mister detective now that all that boring useless eMoTiOnS stuff is done with how about we get to the real elephant in the room," Koichis voice changed like a switch back to his usual playful tone and he lent closer to look at me carefully.
"Could you be anymore bisexual?"

I blinked.
And then my face went red hot.
"W-WHAT??"
"Oh come on don't deny it!!! Your an emo who listens to The Neighbourhood there's no way your not, so come on!! Spill the beans which way do you swing more~!" Kokichi teased rocking back and fourth in his wheelchair smiling. Something about his smile felt more genuine to me and I couldn't help but blush.
"I-I y-yeah I guess" I confessed ,giving up hope of ever being able to keep secrets from Kokichi.
"I'm bi more leaning towards boys but PLEASE don't tell anyone!!" I pleaded desperately.
"Oh come on shu shu, everybody already knows I just wanted you to confess~!!" Kokichi smirked putting his hands behind his head and laughing.
I dropped my head in defeat and Kokichi let out a triumphant laugh. Even though in the game, Kokichi had treated me like this in the exact same way, something about seeing Kokichi in such a week state, seeing his genuine raw emotions thay shook him to his core, and then see him smile and laugh made my heart flutter. While I know Kokichi is still far off from being better and that he still needs time, that urge of wanting to protect Kokichi only grew stronger and I vowed that no matter how Kokichi treated me, no matter what happened, I would protect him. Just like before the game, just like before, he's mine-
No, no that's not right.
I'll protect Kokichi.
But not like before.

word count: 944

n o t e s :
heyoo back with another chapter !! Thanks for all the support yall were already at 3K thats wild!! I hope I can be more frequent with chapters and I always love seeing your ideas, theories and comments so go ahead and comment anything on your mind it's one of my favourite things about writing stories !! Anyway have a good night / day
- Sleepy