i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>

Chapter 4

-* SHUICHIS POV *-

Kyoko walked me down a dark hall, she kept close beside me as distant shouts could be heard from rooms on either side of us. The atmosphere was tense and yet it was eerily lit, almost like a hospital scene from a horror movie.
"Now you know that in this group therapy session you will be asked this that will make you uncomfortable the goal is honesty and having an open mind," Kyoko said to break the silence between us. I didn't know what to expect, all I could do was look at my shoes as we travelled further down the winding hall way towards a black door where mumurs and conversation could be heard within.
"I understand Kyoko, I'll be ok don't worry," I smiled at her reassuringly. She looked at me and sighed. Patting my shoulder confidently, she left me by the door.
"I know you'll be fine shuichi your stronger than you think, good luck" she waved me off and soon disappeared behind a dark corner.

I turned away slowly as the sound of her heals slowly distanced until silence fell, and then I entered.

•* KOKICHIS POV *•

"Thank you for doing this Ouma I know how much you hate it." Hajime apologised as he pushed me in my wheel chair down a dark hall way. I barely registered the words, in such a sleep deprived and weak state I couldn't even answer. Blankets were draped over my skeletal body and I scratched at my dry, pale and sagging skin. I looked like a corpse and I knew it. Pulling on my weak hair for comfort I looked back upon all th sleepless nights and having not eaten in days, i was just a shell of Kokichi Ouma the Ultimate Supreme Leader.
Just a walking, no sitting, lie.

"Kokichi can you hear me ?!"
I jumped slightly scratching at the scars on my arms as I focused my attentions on Hajime.
"Listen Kokichi, try to be as honest as possible, I know in your state and because of who you are that might seem impossible but it will help you in the long run, I promise you," I nodded slowly.
Being honest? Don't make me laugh dear Hajime, my entire existence is a lie.
We came fo a holt at a black door. I could hear laughing and chatter from within. Of course I hadn't seen a single one of my classmates in weeks, I chuckled at the thought that any of them would care once I rolled in. LoOk At KoKicHi AnD hOw AwFuL hE lOoKs. All of them are pitiful.
But I'm even worse so I cant talk.

"Good luck Kokichi, Chiaki will wheel you in just knock on the door" Hajime smiled as he patted my head and ruffled my hair before walking away. I let out a heavy sigh and knocked softly on the black door in front of me.

-* SHUICHIS POV *-

"I wonder why we havnt started yet, everyone's here right??" Kaito huffed impatiently, crossing his arms and slouching in his seat.
We were all positioned in a huge circle, chairs for everyone and Chiaki closest to the door. She seemed to be communicating on her phone, messaging someone with a determined expression on her face.
"Yeah hey Prof when we starting this fuckin gig!!" Miu shouted from across the room, I could see Kaede trying to calm her down.

And then there was a knock.

In an instant we all went silent. I was told to just walk in so who was knocking?

Chiaki seemed to have expected this and quickly got up from her seat to open the door.

Kokichi Ouma,
The Ultimate Supreme Leader,
Was being rolled in by Chiaki,
With a dead pan expression on his face.

An audible gasp rung throughout the room as everybodies eyes were fixed on the purple and white? Haired boy. My eyes couldn't look away from the dishevelled boy infront of us, I wanted to run towards him and steal him away from everyone, it was a strange thing to think but he looked so helpless, I didn't want anybody to see him like that. As strange and unusual thoughts circled around my brain I was brought back to reality by Mius harsh laugh.
"LOOK AT THE RAT HE LOOKS LIKE HES BEEN RUN OVER!!" Miu laughed, pointing at Kokichi. I could here Maki and Kaito chuckling along.
Kokichi however didn't even smile, he didn't speak, his bony body covered in bandages and blankets as he curled up into a ball on his wheel chair and closed his tired eyes. I began wondering what has happened to him.
But just then Chiaki started fo speak.

•* KOKICHIS POV *•

I could feel each one of there piercing stares on the back of my head as I was rolled in to my place by Chiaki.
Just ignore them.
They don't care about you.
They don't care.
Just act normal.
No, I can't do that don't be silly.

I lazily glanced up at my classmates around me. Every single fucking face looked at me in disgust. I understand why of course, I know I look awful.
However one face didn't stare at me in disgust.
Shuichi Saihara.
The boy who had ruined my life.
If he hadn't figured out my plan no more people would have had to die. If that little piece of shit hadn't done anything I would be a hero !!
A hero.
a
hero?

HAHAHA SILLY ME GETTING CAUGHT UP IN MY LIES !!! A HERO? DONT MAKE ME LAUGH OUMA YOUR A LYING PIECE OF SHIT THAT DESERVES TO GET THROWN OFF THE VERY BUILDING YOU ARE IN.

"I know.."

"LOOK AT THE RAT HE LOOKS LIKE HES BEEN RUN OVER!!!"

I hugged my knees in my wheel chair as the world seemed to crumble around me as I muttered so only I could hear myself,
"I-I j-just want to g-go home."

"Now now Miu stop laughing, Maki and Kaito too this is a safe space, not a space to make fun of people." Chiaki scolded angrily although because of her soft voice it was hard to be intimidated by her.
"Ouma has been threw a lot so let's be kind." She continued giving me a sweet smile where I had to cover my mouth to stop the sick in my throat.

"Oh shut up whore, don't make them all pity me." I croaked to Chiaki harshly, no hint of kindness or spark left in my cold voice. Everyone around me looked surprised. Well I guess they would be but it dosnt matter.
"Ok Ouma lets not use that language, anyway would everybody like to go around in a circle stating there name and how they've been effected by the game? Well start with Rantaro."

"I'm Rantaro Amami and I frequently pass out and faint due to the damage up here" he pointed to his head smiling slightly.

"I'm Korekiyo Shinguji and I cannot handle hot spaces."

"I'm Keebo, I'm a human and suffer from body pains and aches sometimes making me not able to walk."

"I'm the gorgeous girl genius Miu Iruma !! I suffer from breathing problems and huge coughing fits."

"I'm Kaede Akamatsu and the same thing as Miu."

"Im Kirumi Tojo, I suffer from broken bones in my arms and rib cage and a fear of heights."

"I'm Ryoma Hoshi and I suffer from asthma and a fear of water."

"I'm Himiko Yumeno I dont suffer from anything..."

"I'm Tenko Chabashira! I suffer from neck pains and breathing problems!"

"I'm Angie Yonaga I suffer from migraines and sometimes becoming light headed!"

"I'm Kaito Momota and I suffer from an unknown illness! Still don't know how to treat it haha!!"

"Tch I'm Maki Harakawa and I dont suffer from anything."

"I'm Gonta Gokuhara! I'm allergic to bee stings and I get stomach pains a lot !!"

"I'm Shuichi Saihara I dont suffer from anything physical."

...

"Kokichi? Would you like to-

"I'm Kokichi Ouma,
I suffer from fatal body wounds, an eating disorder, self harm issue, weak bones, broken arms and legs, insomnia, trichotillomania and being fucking tired of this shit hole."

word count: 1427

n o t e s :

ahaha who else hates therapy 😃 anyway this was a fun chapter to write and didn't take to long I was planning on it to be longer but it felt right to end it there for some reason. Anyway thank you for 200+ reads?? Why does anybody read this book?? It's kinda shit but thank you anyway!
- Sleepy