i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>

Chapter 7

-* SHUICHIS POV *-

Its been a couple days since my confrontation with Kokichi and my minds been a mess. Conflicted feelings were battling with eachother in my mind like a bloody war as I tried to figure out what to do. Kyoko has explained in greater detail how my pregame self was going to effect me so I may be able to better understand myself.
"Your personality, family life, decisions, impulses, likes and dislikes are completely different from your pregame self," Kyoko had explained as we sat in the library together on our usual reading days. "New emotions and urges you have never felt before may emerge and it's important you understand what those are so you may be able to control or suppress anything you would like. You have the opportunity to build a different image of youself with these emotions Shuichi."

Build a different image of myself huh? I pondered, as my body laid sprawled out on my dark blue sheets. From what I had come to understand about my pregame self, I wasn't exactly the nicest person. From what I had gathered I seemed to have been rude, sly and dark. The most effective way of finding out about myself is threw dreams. When I eventually fall into a deep slumber I will see images of myself in school, eyes down, hat on and watching a season of what seemed to be danganronpa with such intensity that if I had broken eye contact with the screen, my entire world would fall apart.

Of course, dreams weren't the only way I could find out more, from the information I have gathered so far, from dreams, thoughts, memories, flashbacks, I used to have a very possessive nature over something I take a liking too. For example, when I noticed the discomfort Kokichi felt in the therapy session I scooped him up with me away from all the prying eyes, like he was something I needed to keep safe. I wonder why it's Kokichi that I feel this connection too.

I chuckled lightly to myself  as I hopped off my bed and started to get changed, Kokichi hated my guts, I don't blame him either. If i was in his position I would as well but I would like to start a new leaf with him, itd a long shot but it could be beneficial for learning more about what kind of person he is and what causes him to act so different. Throwing on some black slippers I slid out my door and towards the cafeteria. It was around 2 pm and I had only just woken up after a long yet normal night of not sleeping until the sun is fully up. With caution, I slowly creaked the door of the cafe open to check if anybody was inside. After scanning the room with tired eyes I noticed Kirumi and Rantaro bustling around in the kitchen.
Oh thank god its people who are laid back I sighed gratefully as I walked towards them. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends but people like Kaito and Kaede can get overwhelming at times, especially when I had just woken up.

"Good afternoon Shuichi," Kirumi said politely, as she slid something into the oven. "Hey dude, did you only just wake up?" Rantaro waved from the fridge.
"Heh good afternoon to you both and yeah I just woke up..." I muttered the last bit sheepishly as I sat at the countertop rubbing my eyes.
"I'll make some food for you," Kirumi said at once.
"No no don't worry Kirumi I'm not hungry just yet" I said apologetically, she nodded and continued to cook.
"So dude how have you been? Any pre game shit happened yet?" Rantaro asked as he slumped next to me, putting his head in his hands.
"I'm alright, a few things happen here and there you know, the odd memory or thought, it's quite strange." I answered with a yawn,"What about you?"
"Oh yeah some stuff has come up, I think I used to be a druggie or some sort or rich kid, you know the type that everyone likes and hates at the same time." Rantaro mumbled, he didn't seem to thrilled about it.
"Ah well your not like that now i assure you," I said trying to comfort him.
"If it makes you any better I think I was a creep," I blurted out without really thinking.
I heard Rantaro burst out laughing.
"You? A creep? I'm sorry that's too good! Your so innocent how could you be a creep?!" He laughed, I gave him a playful punch.
"Hey I'm not that innocent! B-but I'm not a creep either! I just think I had some...obsessions," I hastily explained, trying to find the right words.
Rantaro gave me a sceptical look but shrugged and still smirking, he got up from where he was.
"What ever you say mister creepy innocent detective, I'm off to see where the others are I'll see you around Shuichi." Rantaro called still chuckling.
"Oh and by the way," he stopped as he was about to leave,
"Tell me how Kokichis doing some time ok? I'd like to know."
I looked at him with a confused look,
"Ok sure.."

word count:883

n o t e s :
sorry this is so short I've started school again and this shed to keep up but I'm trying !! Thanks for over 1K I'm super glad people are enjoying this book I love reading people's comments it's so great and speaking of comments which characters from dr would you like to see more of I'd lobe to know !! Anyway until next time
- sleepy