Alice in Borderland ~ Chishiya

28

Despite everything that has happened and that I've told myself not to touch another drop of alcohol, I sit at the bar in the evening. I had a drink and sat down at a table in a corner, hoping no one would bother me. Of course, no one does. After all, I'm the strong player they should watch out for. Well, I definitely don't feel like that at the moment.

I take a sip of my drink and notice how nasty it tastes. What did I actually think? That I could forget what happened if I'd drink? No matter how many litres I would drink away, I can never forget the thought of a pair of lusty eyes and the feeling of a dirty pair of hands sliding over my body.

I don't want to envision it again, so I decide to think about something else. Chishiya said he was looking for the safe where all the cards are kept. He assumed it would be in the presidential suite. When I asked him if he found what he was looking for, he replied vaguely. "I think so" didn't really sound like he was sure. But Chishiya's smart, he will probably find a way to find out where that safe is. Maybe I can help him if I decide to participate, but first I have to talk to Raiden about it. I still haven't found the courage to tell him about my promotion. When I saw him last night, I tried to carefully hide my wristband from him. Although I had just seen him this morning, it feels like I haven't spoken to him in a long time. It's probably because of what happened. Can I tell him about Chishiya's plan? Chishiya said he would consider whether Raiden could also be part of it, but he also realizes he has no choice. If he wants me to participate, which in my opinion he certainly wants, he has no choice. But I can't tell Raiden for now. I first have to land all that has happened myself.

'You look gloomy,' I hear a voice close to me. I look up to see Niragi, Takumi and Stripesuit standing at my table. 'Was he disappointing in bed?' Niragi jokes, laughing. I didn't expect this, so it takes me a while to switch. How could I be so stupid to be sitting here, pitifully staring ahead? I should've known the act wouldn't stop there. It must remain credible if we don't want to be endangered. Before I can say anything, Takumi luckily interferes.

'Well, I don't think so,' he says with a grin, 'why else would she still be wearing his vest?' Only now do I realize again that I'm still wearing it. When I left his room this afternoon and wanted to give it back to him, Chishiya mumbled something about that it'll come later. He didn't want to let me walk through the hallways in my bikini, because he knows how sensitive that is for me. At least that's what I make of it, because I prefer to believe that.

'Chishiya has never given his vest to anyone,' Takumi continues. 'Not that we see him talking to people at all, but okay.' Niragi keeps looking at me. I can't help but wonder if he's trying to see through my clothes. 'So, it wasn't disappointing?' he asks. He sounds disappointed himself. The arrogance of this man..

'Absolutely not,' I agree, pressing a smile on my face. I try to think of nice things to make sure that I really shine. Judging from his reaction, it succeeds quite well. 'It's certainly worth repeating,' I add a little more. I turn my eyes for a moment to look dreamily ahead, as if I were back in the moment and no longer notice them. Takumi starts laughing, so it worked. 'Let it go, those two are completely in love with each other. Take your loss, Niragi.' But Niragi never loses. At least that's how he feels about it, because he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He looks like I'll find out that he's better. I detest him. Fortunately the boys continue to walk on, so that I can continue mourning.

I feel how tired I've become from this brief façade, posing as if I'm fine. It's nice to think that I don't have to do that for long, because I see Raiden coming. I'm happy to see him. I want to tell him about the day, but he flops down on the bench across from me and looks at me in exasperation. 'This was the last place I thought I'd find you.' His voice is reproachful, which only gets worse when he looks at the glass on the table that's in front of me. 'And accusing me of being some alcoholic, you're nice.'