Alice in Borderland ~ Chishiya

31

Although I try to ignore that thought, I can only think about the fact that Raiden's visa expires today. Why should I care any longer? He doesn't want to see or speak to me anymore. He doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. But that doesn't mean I can stop caring about him right away. Maybe I never can. Should I try it? I don't know.

'What do you think, Kimora?' Chishiya's voice takes me out of my thoughts. Kuina and he look at me questioningly and I can see they're expecting an answer. Unfortunately I can't give it to them, because I have no idea what this is about. I try to picture it, but I haven't even heard their words a little. I look at Kuina, but apart from the relief from the fact that she came back after her game, I can't pick up anything for myself.

'About what?' I mumble, causing an exasperated sigh from Chishiya. 'Why are you involved in this, if you don't even listen when we're discussing?' he asks. 'I think you were practically begging me to join,' I say with a shrug. 'It's not like I knocked on your door to ask if I could please be a part of this.'

'And yet you agreed to this yourself, so can you stop doing something else and just help think along?' This is again when he genuinely doesn't understand people and their feelings. He looks at me and sees a girl who annoys him by allowing herself to be distracted, when in reality, she has to listen to him and help work on the plan. What could be more important than that, right?

'Chishiya,' Kuina mumbles, 'it's not surprising that Kimora's elsewhere with her thoughts.' She glances at me, as if she's not sure whether to say it, but then adds: 'Raiden has to play a game tonight.' Chishiya narrows his eyes and looks from her to me. 'So?' he says. 'They don't hang out with each other anymore, do they?' Kuina sighs. 'But that doesn't mean she doesn't care about him anymore.' Chishiya seems to think, as if he's trying to understand, but then shrugs.

He continues as if nothing had happened. 'As I said before, the plan is to steal the cards and leave the Beach. I found a safe in the presidential suite, but I don't think it's the right one. Nor do we know the code. There's a way to try to find out, but then we have to use someone as a distraction.' He says it casually, as if he doesn't really care if someone is going to be betrayed. I look at him with conflicted feelings. I don't like to see him that way, but at the same time, I need to see him that way. It makes everything easier.

'We have to think carefully about how we're going to handle it, but we'll get somewhere.' I can hear that this is the end of the meeting. I may have missed pieces of information, but he hasn't told anything new for now. Kuina gets up, indicating that we're indeed done here. She looks at me with a smile and a questioning look in her eyes. 'What shall we do today?' This is the look of a girl who would love to spend time with a girl friend and have all the time today, as neither of us have to play a game tonight. My heart fills with the desire to do something nice with her. Listening to that stupid music together, maybe putting on masks and discussing which boys look good and which girls are trying too hard for their attention, but I can't bring myself to give in to that. The biting feeling in me keeps me from doing that.

'I am going for a run,' I reply. I emphasize the word "I" to indicate that I'm going alone, but Chishiya doesn't seem to get the hint. 'Where are we going?' he asks. 'I'm going alone,' I say. 'Didn't you say that it's useful to get people here to think we like each other and that's why we should spend time together in public?'

'Spending time in public now and then is not the same as being constantly glued to each other,' I reply. 'We shouldn't be seen too much together, either. Then it comes across as if each of us is trying too hard.' He doesn't seem to understand what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't even understand it myself, but I have to say something to make sure I go alone. 'I'll see you later,' I say before leaving the room. Without waiting for a response I walk through the hallway, towards the lobby.