Alice in Borderland ~ Chishiya

36

'Kimora.' In addition to never hearing Chishiya sound so concerned and relieved, I have never heard him sound so angry at the same time. 'Where were you?!' The mixed intonation continues to resonate in his voice.

I'm absolutely confused right now: when will I have the cold, business-like Chishiya in front of me, and when the one who lets me in?

'In my room,' I reply. It's not entirely true, as I've spent much of the time with Raiden in his room, but Chishiya probably would've been too busy to know. I think about how relieved I am that Raiden and I have rebooted our friendship, but I can't deny that we move on rustically. We haven't talked much and I haven't told him about the plan, because I'm not ready for that yet. Yet, all the time, I felt that walkie-walkie in my pocket, which I did nothing with.

'I didn't give you such a thing for nothing, did I?' Chishiya exclaims in exasperation, holding his own in the air for a moment. 'Oh,' I reply quite simply, 'I thought that was for decoration, too.' For a moment he gives me a questioning look, but then my comment seems to have landed on him. 'Kimora..' he mumbles, but that's all he says.

'I am a strong player,' I say. 'I'm smart and I can figure out during a game what the best outcome is and how I'm going to get there. I'm not collapsing, but I finish the job that I have to do at that moment, despite any caveats I have.' My voice is strong. 'I know,' he replies.

'And I have proven myself more than once that I am capable,' I continue. 'I do what needs to be done and don't give in to despair.' Again, he seems to agree. 'I know,' he repeats, which irritated me immensely. If he knows all that so well, why doesn't he take me seriously? 'Am I a joke to you?' I ask him.

Just like when I asked him if it had ever occurred to him to manipulate me for his own purposes, he now looks at me fiercely, as if he wants to say that I'm not right in the head for thinking that. 'No,' he manages to say in a controlled manner. 'Then why do you treat me like that?' I want to know.

He doesn't reply. I take the walkie-talkie out of my pocket and put it down on the table. I haven't changed anything about it: it has been off all this time. If I haven't actually been involved in the plan, I don't act like I am. He's looking at the thing, probably because it's easier than looking at me.

'I didn't want to put you in danger,' he says. He sounds confused, as if he thinks it's strange that it is so. 'What do I care what happens to others, right?' he mumbles in exasperation. 'Well, I didn't want you to run the risk of being accused of anything. I wanted to protect you from that.'

Although my heart starts to beat in a way it never did before, I force myself to stay calm. 'What about Kuina?' It might interest him enough not to be completely indifferent, but Kuina interests me a lot. 'And Usagi? And Arisu?'

'To gain something,' he mumbles, 'you need to lose something. Such things happen.'

'Such things happen?' I say incredulously. 'To gain something, you need to lose something?! So you're okay with losing your humanity, as long as that means you win? That you get your hands on those stupid cards?' He only makes things worse by taking his hand out of his pocket and showing me a stack of cards. 'Unbelievable,' I mumble, jumping up. 'Kimora, wait..'

I want to walk past him, but he grabs my wrist. I don't know if I'm just too angry not to be shocked or if I've really gotten over it, but I just stand still, looking at his hand. His grip loosens, but he won't let go. 'What happened to them?' I ask. 'They took them,' he replies numb. 'Aguni looked puzzled and flabbergasted when he opened the envelope. So the code was something unexpected. He always stays calm, but when we got to the fake safe, he looked at a painting of a deer thoughtfully. The note probably said-'