Insatiable Habits

Unveiled

After spending some hours with Bucky, you decide it's finally time you went to bed. You thought about the sleeping arrangement as you walked back to your room. After sleeping next to Natasha for the past few nights you knew you'd find it difficult to sleep without her in your arms. You hoped she'd feel the same. However, you pushed your urges aside and reminded yourself that she was still Natasha. Keeping secrets, hiding things. How naive of you to think perhaps things were different for you. It irritated you much more than you had imagined. You wanted to blame it on your fatigue, though you can only truthfully blame it on your feelings for Natasha. You couldn't deny the way it hurt upon finding it was her who had ordered the suppression. Let it go you thought.
As you turn the corner, your line of thinking is interrupted as you run into someone. Of course, it's her. You smile briefly in an attempt to cover your mood, continuing, in no spirit to converse with her.
"Hey ? Everything alright ?"
She calls after you as you carry on down the hall, opening the door to your room.
"Yeah. Speak to you tomorrow."
You don't look at her. You know yourself that her gaze will melt you. You'll trip over her eyes and give into your infatuation.
As you go to close the door, the motion is stopped by Natasha's hand, firmly holding its place. The force of her action leads you to believe that she's heated at your ignorance toward her, but when you finally look up, you notice that her face is dripping with concern. She looks troubled by your avoidance of her.
"You're not gonna sleep in my room ?"
You shake your head no, even though you want to say yes, so, so bad.
"Oh...can I sleep here ?"
You don't answer, continuing to look at her, lips sealed shut. Your anger is fading as the woman stands before you. Her soft puppy eyes are disarming you as she places her hands in yours, moving forward, allowing the door the close behind her. You think at first that she does this deliberately, so that you'll let your guard down. But her sheepish stance indicates that she's unaware and actually perturbed by the situation.
"What's going on ? I though we were..." she trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished.
"Yeah, Nat. I thought we were too."
A perplexed look smears her expression, which turns to admittance as she realises what you're referring to.
"What were you told ?"
"Not much. You seem to have everyone here wrapped round your pretty little finger."
You sit on the bed, awaiting an excuse from the redhead. The silence lasts longer than you'd hoped.
"It's tough shit, Y/N. Seriously. What's going on is..."
Twinges of guilt start to pierce your facade. Natasha isn't one to lie. She evades the truth, but you know as well as her that the principle isn't the same. She once told Steve that 'truth is a matter of circumstance' and ever since then, he won't shut up about it and how great he thinks that idea is.
Nevertheless, her worry is real, you can tell. The guilt surpasses the anger and you suddenly feel regretful that you were ever snappy towards her.
"Nat, I still wanna know."
She sighs and looks up at you with a forced smile.
"Come on then. We'll go see Tony."