Hesitation (Eyeless Jack x F.Reader)

007

During the walk, you work up the courage to ask him a few questions.

"So um, I've been wondering about what you look like under your mask?"

He stops walking and turns his body towards yours.

Shit, did I cross the line? Maybe I shouldn't have started off by asking that. Way to go Y/N.

He reaches his hand up to his face and adjusts his mask. He sighs and shoves his hands back into his pockets.

"I don't look normal underneath my mask. It's unsettling."

You frown. You really want to know what he looks like underneath his mask, but you don't want to pressure him or push him away. 

"Well, I doubt that, but I won't pressure you about it. I just... well ever since I first met you I've been curious about it. I really like you and want to get to know you better, all of you. Sorry if that sounds weird."

You look down and kick up some dirt. You stub the ground with the top of your boot and make deep marks in the dirt. You feel bad for asking him about it. You should have started off with a different question. A less personal question.

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EJ's POV

I watch as she kicks at the ground. This could be another chance to admire her features. She really was something else and beautiful. She seems upset about me dismissing her request. To be honest, I'm scared to show her. It's not that I don't want to show her my face, I just don't want to scare her away. I'm just starting to get closer to her. The last thing I want to do is upset her or scare her off.

Maybe I should just show her and get it done and over with now. If she gets scared and runs away then I can just retreat and get rid of these feelings for her. I don't even understand half of them anyway. I might as well. Fuck it, Jack just do it. Whatever happens, happens. I just hope she forgives me for scaring her.

I remove my mask and hold it tightly by my side. I want to hide from her, from the world, even from myself if I end up scaring her.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat to catch her attention. I wait for her to scream and run away. But it was just silence when she finally looks at me.

Her eyes widen, but not in fear... it's something else.

I don't understand? Why isn't she screaming and running away? I'm waiting for her to scream that I'm a monster. To prove that I was right.

But she just stands there staring at me. I don't sense any fear from her, I don't see any signs of her wanting to run. She just stands there and starts smiling.

What the fuck?

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You look up to see that EJ has taken his mask off. Your eyes widen and you just stare up at him. You're so entranced by his features. They were different. But he wasn't scary to you.

You move closer to him and lift up your hand to touch the side of his face. You notice your hand is shaking. You try to control it, but you're so nervous to touch him. 

He tenses up and takes a step back. So you take another step forward, this time with confidence without shaking as much. You gently place your hand on the side of his face and feel his cool gray skin against your soft palm. His eyes are an obsidian abyss. There's a dark undertone beneath his eyes. He has sharp features, it seems like he was hand sculpted by the Gods themselves. You gently rub your thumb across his cheek.

Yeah, he looks different, but he was just how you had imagined him. He looks kind and gentle. He was still tense, but not as tense as before.

He closes his eyes and leans into your touch. He sighs and places his hand on top of yours.

"Thank you Y/N."

Thank you for what? What did I do?

He opens his eyes and carefully removes your hand from his face. He holds your hand in his for a moment before letting go. He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't.

"Jack. I don't think you're scary at all. I think you're beautiful..."

He quickly places his mask back on and turns away from you.

"Thanks."

He starts walking forward and motions with his hand for you to follow. You smile and follow after him.

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EJ's POV

I did not expect that reaction. Or expect her to say those things to me. Fuck, I guess I really do have feelings for her. She thinks I'm beautiful... but is that any indication that she has feelings for me as well?

I feel heat rising below the surface of my cheeks. I put my mask back on so she wouldn't see me blush and smile at her like she just fell from the heavens. I start walking again and motion for her to follow. I hear her footsteps soon after and smile again.

She didn't run away from me.

We walk for a bit longer and she asks me a few more questions. Mainly about myself. I want to ask her questions too, but I can't find the right words. She makes me nervous... in a good way. She makes me feel... happy?

I wonder how she feels about me? Yeah maybe she finds me attractive, but that doesn't mean she feels the same way as I do about her. I don't even know what to say to her about my feelings toward her. I can't even figure out how to ask her simple questions about herself right now. I feel so stupid and embarrassed.