always you² | derek morgan. ✓

07 | deal.

a/n: this chapter is inspired by emily and hotch's talk on the jet in s7e12 :) - i decided that i wanted to give charlotte and hotch a slightly stronger relationship [friendship, if you will] - just so that they can use their own, past traumas to rely on each other.

anyways, that's all, enjoy :') i love you all. <3
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charlotte rhodes.

I make my way onto the jet, my head pounding from a killer headache - I had popped two tablets of advil before leaving the bureau to go to the airstrip.

My mind keeps racking with thoughts as I think over the case - how the hell can one target children?

I can merely understand targetting police, firefighters, or paramedics - especially since in our line of work, we're like god, we can choose whether you live or die - it sounds so wrong, yet it's so true.

But children; they're innocent human beings who have yet to see the world - they're young minds who have yet so much to learn, to see, to imagine, to experience. They shouldn't have to live in constant fright, they shouldn't have to go through the toxicity of households and experience the potential harm of the world - they should stay safe and free from all harm to ever exist, as overdramatic as that may seem.

I feel a familar touch as a comforting hand gets placed on my shoulder, phasing me out of my thoughts entirely.

I look up, my eyes landing on Hotch standing in front of me. My brow furrows, the sound of the world draining out of my ears - as if time had stopped.

My brow furrows as I watch Hotch's lips move as he speaks, but my mind is unable to make up of the words, "Hm?" I hum in response, hoping he'd repeat what he said.

Hotch clears his throat slightly, "I said that we're gonna be briefing in a moment - you didn't seem to react when Luke told you." He states in a low tone.

I nod, rubbing my forehead, "Y-Yeah, uh, sorry. My mind is everywhere today." I state in a low tone, my voice fogged up.

Hotch takes a seat across from me as I glance out the window, "Is everything okay?" He asks, potential concern filling his tone.

I glance back towards him, putting on a soft smile, "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I ask in a low tone, trying to mask all of my emotions.

Hotch clears his throat again, crossing his arms as he leans back in his seat.

His eyes search mine for a moment, "I spoke to Reid..." He begins.

I let out a soft sigh, shaking my head slightly as the words escape from his lips, "Hotch..." I begin, but I'm immediately cut off.

Hotch shakes his head at my immediate, false reaction, "No, no, I understand why it happened. I understand why you put yourself through so much harm." He states.

My brow furrows from his words, my lips parting slowly in confusion, "You do?" I ask.

Hotch nods slightly, "I understand being in that position - the one that you're in right now." He states, his tone going soft as it fills with understanding and sympathy.

"It's exhausting..." I mutter, my voice breaking slightly as my lips tremble.

Hotch's eyes search mine, "As I said, Reid told me about everything, and he has given me an evaluation." He states, pulling out a case file.

I groan softly, "No..." I mutter.

Hotch begins to read the evaluation that Spence had written up about me, "Agent Rhodes has struggled with a lot in the past, but claims to be doing perfectly fine. When you pull her aside at the coffee cart to ask how she's doing, she'll just give you a warm smile to mask what she's really hiding - the pain that she's bottling up...." He states.