night after night (camren)

31.

Lauren let those words echo in her head with each punishing jab until eventually her mind was blank, and her body was tired, and she hoped against hope she'd forget Camila fast.

......

Even-steven.

For a card player there were worse words. Like lost its all, or lost big.

But for now, the words even-steven stung.

That's where she'd netted out. With nothing to show for her race home to play Austin's whale.

"You disappointed me tonight, Brown. I expected more from you" he said, as he bent over a steaming plate of pizza. He gathered up a mouthful, the excess cheese trailing wetly down his chin, the last piece snaking into his mouth.

He pushed his index finger down hard on the ledger next to him, "This? This blank line for you tonight? This tells me you have something else on your mind. Do you?"

Camila shook her head, pressed her lips together as if she could hold in all the nasty things she wanted to say to him. Her fists were clenched at her sides, "No" she muttered.

Austin pushed back his chair, the sound of the legs scraping across the floor of the Pizzeria. He rose and reached for her chin, grabbing her roughly. His calloused fingers dug into her jaw so hard that he was practically pushing the inside of her cheek into her teeth. All her instincts told her to cry out, to yelp from the sharp, cruel pain. But Austin would see that as a sign of weakness, and weakness had no place in his poker circuit. If she let on, he'd throw her out and find some other way to extort her. A worse way, surely.

He angled her chin, forcing her to look at him, "You lie to me, Brown. You lie like you lie at the table with your poker face. You went away for the weekend to see a man, didn't you? And you can't stop thinking about him"

She rolled her eyes as if that notion were ludicrous, "I only wish I had done something so interesting. Told you I was seeing friends in California. That's all"

"Your friends have distracted you then" he said, enunciating each word so crisply that a bead of spit flew out of his lips and landed on her skin, "Do I need to pay them a visit? Enlist them in my employ?"

"No" she shouted, as he poked at her deepest fears. "But maybe you shouldn't have called me back then. I barely got off my flight before I had to show up"

Austin sneered at her, his fingers drilling her face, "You had three hours in between. That is enough"

"Well, it wasn't enough tonight"

He yanked her closer to him, so close her eyes could no longer focus on his face. She stood her ground though, her high-heeled feet digging into the floor as his brutal fingers jammed her jaw, "I can't have my ringer bringing me nothing"

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. That's the way it goes" she said in as flat a voice as she could muster.

He dropped his hold on her chin, then stared at her curiously, as if she were a science project, "I do not like baseball. Do not give me baseball analogies. Give me your best poker face and beat my whales. That is all I want from you"

"That's what you'll keep getting"

"But Brown, I did not like your performance tonight. If it happens again, I will be adding on to your totals"

Her heart plunged and she wanted to shriek no. A loud, echoing cry that would carry through the night, "It's not even my fault. It's not even my money" she said, insistently, as if that might change his mind.

"It is your fault. It is your money. And you're mine until I say you're not" he said, rooting around in his pocket. He took out his knife, opened it, and stabbed it into the table. She cringed, and there was no hiding her emotion this time as the sound of metal parking itself into wood rattled her ears. He didn't remove the blade; he left it standing there like some strange trophy, "Or do you want me to visit your pretty bartender friend?" he said, making a circle over his stomach as a reminder that he knew Ally was pregnant.

Camila's heart twisted, "No"

"How about your best friend? She's a lovely lady, and quite perky on that little fashion blog of hers" Austin said in his cool even voice.

It was as if he'd sliced her open with his knife, her bleeding organs on display for all to see. Camila bit her lip hard, trying to stop her insides from quivering. Austin had never gone near her family, or her friends. He'd never mentioned Dinah until now, and her heart raced at the pace of fear. She'd do anything to keep her best friend away from him, "Please leave them out of this. This has nothing to do with them"

"That's right" he said with a firm nod, pointing from her to him. "It's our business, and we will continue to do business until it is all resolved, or else I might need to collect from them too. Is that clear?"

With his words, the floor fell out from under her. He'd done it. He'd done the thing she feared. Threatened her family. Fear coursed through her body, rotting itself in her belly in a twisted knot where it planned to set up camp for a long, long time, "Yes" she choked out.

"Now get out of here, and I will call you when I have a game you won't mess up"

She turned on her heels and left the restaurant, Squirrel holding open the door. He lowered his voice to a whisper, as if he didn't want Austin to hear him, "Want me to call you a cab?" he asked, and he sounded like a sweet, sympathetic bear. Like he legitimately wanted to do something nice after the way Austin had spoken. He had some kind of soft spot for her. But she wasn't going to be fooled. She knew where his loyalties lie and it wasn't with the woman he wanted to help. It was with the man who owned him, just as Austin owned nearly everyone he worked with.

Except her. She told herself Austin only rented her, and eventually the lease would be up.

"No thank you. I don't need a cab" she said, and walked home, the fog crawling into the city, threatening to ensnare the night. She brushed her hand roughly against her cheek, wiping away a tear.

But another fell, and then another, and that's how she walked home, wishing there were a way to unravel herself faster from Austin's clutches. Wishing she'd never met Shawn, that he'd never made off with $100,000 from the mobster he worked for, and that he'd never claimed the money was for her.

When she reached her home and poured herself a glass of whiskey, her fingers itched to pick up the phone and call Lauren. To tell her why she ran, that she missed the girl, and that this weekend was the best she'd ever had.

But she could still fell Austin's hand on her chin, and she knew, she fucking knew she shouldn't be involved with anyone. Because when you get close to people, your debt becomes their debt, and theirs becomes yours, and you are left with nothing but an aching well of shame inside you as you try to claw your way out.

Lauren could be just like Shawn - disappearing, and leaving her holding all the girl's problems.

She put the phone in the kitchen drawer and shut it hard.