Royalty (Book One)

Chapter 7

Tears come from the heart and not from the brain. - Leonardo da Vinci

"Will you be my mommy, Aunty Ana? So I'll call you mom because you are the best." I tried again with pleading and glossy eyes. If I blink, my held up tears will not caution me before shedding. My forehead wrinkles in sadness, she still hadn't said anything yet.

She put her palm on my shoulder, starting off with,"Royalty, I- I don't know if that- ugh, how do I say this? It's not like-"

"You don't want to?" My lips start to quiver and turn downwards. I think think she was going to reject me but why?  She leaned closer to me and clasped me into a hug, rubbing circles on my back but I didn't hug her back.

"No, I didn't say that. I'll love it if you-"

"Because you also think I'm a-" I stopped talking, unwilling to mention the word. I finally hugged her back letting the water erupt my eyes, crying into her chest.

"Shh Royalty you're making me cry." I also huggedy best friend.
Once I pulled away, I locked my palms together, thinking this was all over. No more assumptions. No one wants to be the mother of a burden, no one wants to be my mother, but Aunty Mary isn't like that.

"Um, bye I'll meet you tomorrow Megan and thanks alot for your sandwich." I quietly sobbed, still covering my eyes.
"Royalty, please don't think that way... Being your mother is a very big thing and-"

"I'm sorry for cutting you off, aunty Mary." I apologize "It's alright. I'm alright."

No one is ever going to love me.

"I have too many wishes that's why but I'll also love calling you my mum." I almost smiled when I said 'mum'.

But didn't.

"The word fits you, right Megan?"
She nodded her head and helped me to clean my cheeks.

"Bye-bye, uh...my dad would soon be back." I sent them a wave and in return, earned kisses all over my face. "Aunty." I chortle before walking away from them.

*      *        *       *        *

I sat at the bench, swinging my legs to and fro and staring at the ground even though I was less interested. The scene replays in my head, I wish she had agreed.

Oh Royalty, you have too many wishes on ground.

I wonder how Megan will be enjoying her, alot. Unlike me, who is just stuck between my daddy and Aunty.

But since she didn't agree, there's nothing I could do to change her mind, my life still remains the same; constant. But I also want to have a mum like her.

I sniffed, rubbing my eyes with my fist. I have been crying for ages but right now, crying isn't the best. If I break down again, I don't know when I'll stop and I don't know what daddy will do if he sees me crying. The sound of sobs or hiccups angers him, I don't know why all I know is that I.want.a.mom. final

Nothing more. Nothing less.

"What are you still doing here?" I sluggishly rose my head up, exposing my bloodshot eyes at a woman, looking back at me with pity. No I don't want that, I don't want that look. "Aren't you supposed to be home?"

It was then, I took notice of the weather, I can see the sun already hiding behind the cloud.

"I'm w-waiting for daddy." I replied through hiccups.

"Your dad?!" She shrieked.

Shiver bolts through my spine when her voice suddenly rose, her sweetness was long gone and exchanged with pure anger. I looked away from her, bobbed my head and said nothing.

"Do you know what the time says? Gosh it's almost 7:30 and-"

She was cut off by car horns in the background, I held her palm scared of what was going to happen because there's no way this is going to end up well, dad had always warned me against talking to strangers or people he hardly socializes with and I've broken that rule.

"Is that your dad?"

Nodding my head, the woman pulled me along with her to the black Nissan GT-R awaiting me. She softly and gently hit her fist on his window when I had somehow escaped to the backseat of the car unable to face him. I broke down again when I saw his eyes on me, I had to scoot closer to the window to hide myself.

"What?" He referred to the stranger who didn't stop knocking on his window.

"Seriously? 'what?' is that all you're gonna say?" Her voice shakes in anger when she earns a bored look from dad.

"I should sue you when next I see you with my daughter."
A gasp left my mouth when he called me his daughter. He has never called me or acted possessive over me before neither had he treated me like one. He eyes the woman before zooming past her, she was stunned and turned stiff in her spot.

       The ride was scarily silent, my dad continued to hiss and me being me was afraid of what he was going to do when we get home. He pulled me not gentle to the couch.

"How many times do I have to tell you this, Royalty?" He barks, tightening his grip on my wrist. I yelp in agony while my eyes do its worst.

"I'm sorry, da-daddy." I wriggle to get free from his painful hold. "I promise I won't talk to strangers anymore."

Suddenly, he let go of me, eyeing his hand that just left me and muttered, "You aren't worth my time." Before leaving me in the living room.
I drifted to my room, more tears brimming my eyes.

You aren't worth my time.

I shed my sore eyeball out till late night, when I glanced at the clock, the shorter hand was almost pointing to
Eleven. I broke into tears again, I hate this world, no one wants to like me, they're maintaining distance from a burden. I wish there was nothing like pain, okay I don't wish- want, I want to remove pain in my life and my family's life. I don't want to be seen as a burden anymore.

That same unfaithful night, for some reason, I wished... I was never born.