Iris and the List

Iris and The Beginning

Relief. Relief was the only thing I felt. Not sadness, anger, betrayal, or even heartbreak. Just relief. I felt light and airy and even walked away with a slight spring in my step. I was a balloon that had been cut away from one of those weights. Sure I'd miss the one holding me down sometimes but I was free, free to make my own way and finally do what I wanted. Not exactly the type of reaction one would normally have in this situation.

I had just discovered my boyfriend of a yearish cheating on me. He had been passionately kissing some random sophomore against his locker before class. I hadn't said anything, just turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I even managed a real smile, something that I couldn't remember doing for a while. I evaded some teachers and took the rickety staircase up to the roof where I was sure to get some peace and quiet.

I sat down in my usual spot where I could see the school grounds and some of the surrounding area. A misty New England morning was upon us. It was slightly chilly and I could smell rain in the air. It was one of those March days where the snow has all melted and its forty degrees and it hits you that spring is coming after a long and terrible winter. Metaphorically speaking it was a symbol of rebirth and out with the old, which I took as a good sign. I had just emerged from my own personal winter.

My boyfriend, now ex boyfriend, Todd was your typical "bad boy". Leather Jacket, motorcycle, bad attitude, failing school, terrible home life. He was cute, and different from the kind of the boy I usually came across. Once we started dating and I found out about all of his problems, I became convinced I could save him. Give him the good life he deserved. I was wrong. I became his emotional crutch of sorts. We only talked about him, his problems, his friends, his family. It was not a healthy relationship, for either of us. He was too dependent and clingy and I was giving everything I could and getting nothing in return. By the time I realized this it was too late to back out. I couldn't abandon him, not when he so clearly needed me. I was weak and pathetic when I should have been strong. Now that he had cheated on me, I could justifiably break up with him. I wouldn't be the bad guy that I would have been if I had dumped him because his problems were too much for me.

I took a few more breaths of the misty air and then walked back inside. The hallways had filled up with students chatting and laughing about inane subjects as they made their way to first period.

"Iris!" A cheerful voice called. It was Audra, resident popular girl. She wasn't one of those mean popular girls, in fact she was probably one of the nicest people I knew. She had gotten popular through being friendly with everyone and even the people at the bottom of the social order liked her. I slowed down to let her catch up to me. I turned around and could see her walking up the hallway quickly.

"Iris, oh my god, I'm so sorry about you and Todd! We just can't believe anybody could be so heartless." She said.

"Oh you know about that already?" I asked

News traveled fast here, that much I knew, but I couldn't see how this had gotten out so fast. It had only been what twenty minutes? As far as I knew I had been the only one to see. Of course Todd could have publicized it, but if he had he would be painting himself as the good guy, not the villain.

"It's all over! Crystal saw, and you know she can't keep her mouth shut, and she told everyone, including Hannah, Hannah told me, and I just had to come comfort you!" Audra said.

"Oh well I don't really need comforting, but thank you anyways."

I wasn't going to show the world that I was actually really happy about this, but I wasn't going to pretend to be devastated either. The only person who I really wanted to talk about this with hated me, ironically because of Todd.