For Good

you all need to see her

                  Jay was still in the bathroom sobbing to himself when Kevin walked in subconsciously, not even expecting to see his friend in there let alone breaking down, "woah man, hey jay, it's me, you're alright..." Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder when jay didn't notice him.  Jays head shot up, his hands began to raise in defence and his eyes were bloodshot, "hey it's me, it's just me. C'mon let's get you up" Kevin grabbed his arm and helped his friend up.  Everyone was on the verge of breaking but only two members of the unit had actually cracked yet, jay and hank.  Hank had to take a walk outside since he was getting irritated and when he left the unit saw the tears strolling down his face, and now jay in the bathroom, who next?

                   Once he was on his feet he leant on the sink and hung his head low as Kevin locked the bathroom door, "she's gonna be okay jay, we all know she's a fighter..." he started but jay cut him off, "everyone's saying that, but Kev I've had two people tell me the odds of her actually making it are low. What if she d..." jay started but this time Kevin cut him  off, "don't think like that, just look at the positives. Her body's responding to the meds well and she has got a good chance jay, she's gonna pull through..." he spoke timidly, trying to reassure himself more than anyone too.  Jay huffed, "I can't lose her man, she's all I am" he cried, all while holding the side so he doesn't collapse.

                   Kevins heart shattered for him, he knows how much Abbie means to him wether they had received Hanks blessing on the relationship or not, Abbie means the world to jay and quite frankly, if Abbie wasn't to make it, jay would lose himself completely, "I know jay, I know she is. That's why you've gotta stay strong for her, for the team, for yourself. When Abbie wakes up she's gonna need you right by her side" he squeezed his shoulder.  Jay looked up at himself in the mirror and nodded, Kevin was right, he needs to start looking on the brighter side of all this, to start being optimistic instead of thinking about the what if's?  So he wiped the tears away from his cheeks, still feeling slightly ashamed that Kevin had to see him like this, and stood up straight. 

                  Kevin nodded at him in the mirror, "go be with the team, we all need each other. But I did come in here for a reason so I'll be out in a minute" he smiled slightly.  Jay laughed a little bit, "yeah man, you do you" he shook his head and smiled while walking towards the door.  Kevin nodded as jay left, at least he made him feel slightly better, but he couldn't lie, he was terrified too as was everyone else. 

                   It had been another few hours now and the team had stayed all night, it was now 5:30am in the morning but none of them agreed to go home, they at least needed another reassurance of her condition but the one they were about to get wasn't what they wanted.  Will walked out of the ED and over to his friends in the waiting room with slightly glassy, red eyes which immediately sent the unit into panic mode, they all stood up expecting the worst possible news.  Will took a deep breath, "we've been keeping a close eye on her condition. The meds are responding well but she did crash, we managed to resuscitate her and she's stable now but we have made the decision to put her on a vent until she's strong enough to breathe on her  own..." he nodded to them all sadly.

                   They all looked around at each other in shock, she crashed? Oh no, that means she isn't getting better, she practically died for a minute or two and the physician stood in front of them is telling them she's stable now?  Hank shook his head, "what...what does that mean now then?" He spoke worriedly.  Will sighed and nodded with a sad smile, "you all need to see her" he nodded at them again, that statement hit them all like a brick, "after crashing once the possibility of it happening again is high given her circumstances, so we just need to be prepared and that starts with anyone who you want to see her needs to do so" Will added and pointed to hank given that he is the non biological father of abbie.

                 Hank nodded as he looked around at his detectives, "uhm, yeah just us. I'll call trudy and let her know, thanks Will..." he trailed off at the end.  Will nodded at him as hank walked away solemnly then looked at jay, "I'm sorry jay..." he squeezed his brothers arm.  Jay fought back the tears and nodded thankfully while looking down, he couldn't even bring himself to look at his brother knowing he was upset too.  Jays mind was racing, it's crazy how quick someone you love can be pulled away from you and the fear of the unknown was starting to hit him again.  Hank reappeared after calling trudy and nodded, "alright, we'll take turns. Adam and Kim you two can go first..." he sighed sadly.  Adam and Kim stood up, "are you sure Sarge?" Adam tilted his head.  Hank nodded and looked at jay, "yeah, me and jay need time to process it first" he smiled sadly.

                  Jay was shocked that his boss was evening thinking about him during this difficult time but he agreed with him so he smiled and nodded at his friends before the two walked off and followed Will to go see Abbie.  Jay and hank sat down as the rest of the team wandered off to go get coffee, "she gave me some stick when I told her you two couldn't be together you know that?" Hank raised an eyebrow at him.  Jay looked at his Sargent and shook his head, Abbie had told him that hank said no but she didn't go into details, hank laughed a little and shook his head while smiling to himself, "yeah well she didn't take it lightly. Told me she wasn't a kid anymore, said I had no reason to split youse up, typical Abbie..." he laughed a little again.  Jay laughed a little too, this was helping them both more than they'd like to admit.

                   Jay smiled and nodded at the floor, "but I do have my reasons jay, after Erin left I saw how it affected the team, you. I need you fully functional and I know Abbie like I know my own mind, she can be a distraction" he smiled a little.  Jay smiled too knowing she was a distraction but a good one, "I'm not gonna hold a grudge against the two of you, I'll allow your relationship, as much as it pains me to say, only if you swear the two of you will keep it professional at work, don't go letting the home life take over how you do your job" he looked at jay sternly.  Jay smiled weakly, finally some good news at last, "thanks Sarge, it means a lot, to both of us. And I promise you we won't, I just can't believe where we are now..." he looked around at the hospital, his tears threatening to spill.

                 Hank nodded, "I know, but she'll fight for it" he smiled sadly.  Jay nodded, "I can't lose her..." he sighed sadly, hank shook his head, "you're not gonna lose her, I'm not gonna lose her, she'll pull through" he sighed back, once again trying to make himself believe it more than anyone else.  Adam and Kim reappeared with glassy eyes which made the team both a little sad and nervous, "you two, go on" hank waved Kevin and Vanessa off.  The pair smiled sadly and nodded before getting up and following Kim's directions.  Jay and hank were both nervous now, it was only a matter of time before they see the most important woman in both of their lives hooked up to a life support system...