If Loving U Is Wrong

Twenty Two

"Hold your head still little girl or I am going to poke your eye out." Laughing she continued to fidget as if Prince hadn't said a word. The three of us where piled In the bedroom and somehow she's convinced him to put make up on her. Looking out the window as it continued to rain down hard Spotty snuggled up closer to my body. I like it by Debarge, played softly around us it was a comfortable rainy day just the three of us relaxing and enjoying each other. "You momma now that I am about to be seven I was thinking I could get my ears pierced." shutting my it hurt me that my baby is turning seven and wanting her ears pierced what next a tattoo. "Baby are you sure that's what you want." shaking her head she looked to Prince for help, "Princess your still a little young but I mean what could it hurt if that's what you want we'll get it done I vote yes." the two of them turned to look at me, "Well if your going to be a movie star baby might as well I am a yes." clapping she moved over to me embracing me in a hug.

"Thank you mommy thank you, thank I am going to look like a superstar." smiling she went back over to Prince, hearing the song changed to Through the Fire by Chaka Kahn Prince stood from the bed holding out his hand for Oliva, "Dance with your dad Princess." smiling she jumped down taking his hand watching as the rocked together it was the most amazing thing this man would make an amazing father I couldn't help but wanting to give this man a child the only thing stopping was that well I wanted to give him a child if he was mine and only mine.

"You know what would really make this the best Oliva day ever ?" she asked looking between me and Prince, "What would that be baby you know I'll do anything to make you happy." Moving up to the head of the bed beside me Oliva stayed at the foot of the bed looking between the two of us. "Well you know I don't have any siblings and don't get me wrong I love the perks of being an only child but you know it get lonely and yes I have Zendaya  but I was wondering if well if I could have a sister or brother."

"Absolutely we could use a baby around the house." Prince spoke up before I could even form a thought, "Really dad that's awesome!" jumping down from the bed she took off out the room probably to call Daya. "Prince we've talked about this I want to finish school before we think about having a baby and again your still married Prince I am not having another child right now." letting out a sigh he stood up going over to the window looking at the rain. "Prince I am not saying I never want to have your child that would make me the happiest women in the world to carry your seed and give you something that you've always wanted but this is to messy to bring a child into we already have to think of Oliva you saw how she reacted when she found out you're married and here with me and not your wife come on." looking over at me I could see the words I spoke where sinking in. "Prince I love you I swear I do but if you love me you would understand why I am saying we need to wait."

"Do you really believe I love you Serenity do you really believe it with your heart and soul that one day you will have all of me ?" I wanted to say yes that I whole heartedly believed he'd be mine that I'd one day be his wife and we'd be together not hiding or sneaking around. "Prince I love you but your still married to her even though you've claimed that your not happy and you haven't been happy for a long time, I went with you to Canada saw you pretty much break down and admit this marriage is over but you won't divorce her Prince you claim to love me and support me and want me but your still tied to that women." choking back tears I didn't want to have this conversation I'd held it in for so long I wanted it to just disappear but I've been here before thinking that some one will love me and stay with me only to be left out in the cold when I no longer have value.

"I can't be upset at you for feeling this way baby I know it can't be easy it can't be easy on you and I love you for sticking with me but Ren I just need to bare with me just a little while longer please just a little while longer and we'll be out of the woods baby I promise."  deciding to my self that I didn't want to argue this for the millionth time I just let it be even though deep down I didn't believe him whole heartedly even though I loved him with my whole heart.