Reason To Live [COMPLETED]

Therapy Session

"So," Dr. Hartz opens the door to her home. "You must be Killua."

Killua nods. "Uh- yeah."

"It's so nice to meet you!" Hartz hugs him. "Come on in."

Killua walk inside, and Hartz leads him to her home office. She opens the door and let's him in, where Gon sits on a couch. With a toddler who's intent on flattening his hair.

"Kiwrua!" Gon says, slurred a little due to the little hands grabbing his cheeks.

The little girl looks over to the door. "Ba?"

Hartz chuckles. "Abby dear, you're not supposed to be in here."

"Ba ma!" The little girl exclaims. "Eh- eh Gon!"

"It is Gon." Hartz takes the girl out of Gon's hands. "Go find your sisters and scold them for not watching over you like I asked them to, okay?"

"Ba!" The toddler nods before running upstairs.

Killua snorts, looking at Gon's hair as he takes a seat next to him. "Nice makeover."

Gon crosses his arms. "You should see what she can do when she's got a brush and hair accessories."

"Alrighty then, boys." Dr Hartz takes a seat across from them. "Let's get this started, shall we?"

Gon and Killua nod.

"So how long have you been dating?" She asks, even though she already knows.

"Uhm..." Killua thinks for a moment. "Five months."

"Mm. And how did you start dating?"

Killua blushes, remembering how they confessed to eachother. It's actually rather embarrassing, now that he recalls...

"Killua was having a nightmare," Gon begins. "And eventually as I was comforting him, we ended up confessing to eachother."

"Do you have nightmares often, Killua?" Hartz asks.

Killua nods. "I used to. Though they're not nearly as common as they once were."

"What are they about?"

"Uhm..." Killua holds Gon's hand. "I- it varies. Sometimes it's nightmares of my sister and her suicide. Or losing Gon somehow..."

"Do you blame yourself?" She asks. "For what happened to her, or for losing Gon in your nightmares?"

"Yes..." Killua looks down.

"And why is that?"

"I wasn't there for her when she needed me." Killua says. "And... I guess I'm scared that I'm..."

Gon waits for Killua to continue, but Hartz can see where he's going. "I see. Gon, you used to have nightmares of the same thing, didn't you?"

Gon nods. "Yeah. I blamed myself for just about everything. Even after I met Killua, whenever something bad would happen I'd blame myself."

Killua sits up. Did Gon blame himself for the things that happened to Killua? The beatings, sexual assault, and Killua's suicide attempts? But- that's- no. Gon's the only reason Killua made it through any of that. There's no possible way for him to be the one to blame. Regardless of your perspective.

Gon couldn't think that was actually his fault-

Right?

"How did you stop the nightmares?" Hartz asks. Again, she knows. But Killua doesn't.

"It wasn't me." Gon answers. "It was you, Kurapika, Leorio, and Killua. On my own I never would've been able to get rid of them."

"And now that you don't suffer from those nightmares anymore, how has it changed you?"