𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚎𝚝𝚑 [𝚔. 𝚋𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚐𝚘𝚞 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛] [𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚞]

𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛

𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚢 -- 𝚋𝚊𝚣𝚣𝚒

𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕. 𝙽𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛

Soulmate. Noun. A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust. A soulmate is someone that just gets you. It's a connection of minds, mutual respect, unconditional love, and total understanding. It's about being yourself and knowing, not only that person is following and understanding your thoughts but is right there with you, side by side.

No matter how deep I delved into it, what history I searched, what articles I read, how many stories I listened to, I knew I would never be able to understand it all. I’m not emotional. Anyone could look at me and tell that. I don’t see the need for a relationship and I don’t see the need to go chasing after one. I’d rather sit and read than go crazy after some boy.

Perhaps it’s why I really don’t have any kind of empathy for the subject. My friends go on lots of dates and always come back either heartbroken or stupidly in love. Sometimes they come to me in search of comfort, but I can never give it to them. It’s just the way I am.

And sometimes, it came back to bite me in the ass.

The bed dipped beside me with the figure that came with it. My mother reached out, pulling some hair away from my face. My attention was on the mirror in my hands. I was analyzing it. The shade was a mix between candy and ruby and was darker around his pupils. His hair was pale blond, with tiny tufts that almost made it look spiky. I could only see around his cheek area, but from what I could see, his cheekbones were high, and his eyes slanted.

“He’s Japanese,” I muttered.

My mother slipped the piece from my hand, placing it on the table beside my bed. She nestled into my pillows, pulling me into her side. I rolled over, laying my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me. She sighed softly, fingers twisting around my hair.

“If you keep trying to construct his face, you’ll be disappointed in the end,” She said. “Stop trying to go the logical way with this, Y/n.”

“I don’t know how else to do it,” I said into her shirt.

“For once, try turning this off,” She poked the side of my head. “And turn this on,” She poked my chest.

“My heart is not in the center of my chest, Mom--”

“You get the idea,” She said. “Not everything has a cerebral answer. You need to do less thinking, and more acting. Stop trying to create some kind of...reasonable thought process to it. Just listen to your heart.”

“Do you know how cliche that sounds?”

“Y/n, I’m being serious,” She sighed, looking at me.

My mother was American. And she was the definition of American beauty. Long brown hair, and pretty e/c eyes, much like my own. She was wild, cheerful, and optimistic. She could brighten a room by walking inside and could make anyone’s day better by just offering them a smile. It was just one of her many talents, I suppose.

“I know,” I sighed, sitting up. “It’s just...hard. Everything is supposed to have an answer. I’m the smartest person in our district; my IQ is over 200, so why can’t I understand this? This is so easy to comprehend a child could do it! Why can’t I?!”

My mother looked at me with softened eyes. She knew this was frustrating for me. She was my mother. She probably knew better than anyone else. And I applaud her for always putting up with my bullshit about things like this.

“I’m sorry, honey. I know how much this is bothering you,” She said, rubbing my back as I dropped my head into my knees with a frustrated groan. “Tell you what. Why don’t you and I go out together tomorrow? It’ll be just us, like a girl’s day.”

“You have too much of a shopping therapy way of thinking, Mom.”

“It’s the best therapy, what can I say?”

I laughed softly, dismissively shaking my head at my mother. I pulled my legs into my chest, wrapping my arms around my shins, and laid my chin on my knees.

“Thanks, Mom, but, I think I’m just gonna stay home,” I said.

“Oh. Well alright. Your father and I were planning to go out tonight. Is there anything you’d like?” She asked. I shook my head. “Oki doki, then. I’ll leave some money downstairs for you to get something to eat with. Kei will be with Sara tonight, as well.”

“Okay,” I said. My mother smiles softly, leaning over to kiss the side of my head.

“I know I say this a lot,” She sighed, brushing some hair away from my face, letting it drape behind my shoulders. “But you’ve grown so much. You’re so beautiful; you always have been. I’m very proud of you, Y/n.”

I smiled, closing my eyes at my mother’s loving touch. “Th-thanks, Mom. That means a lot to me,”

She chuckled. “I know. It’s why I say it. I’ll see you later tonight, baby.”

“See you,”

Giving my cheek another peck, my mother stood from my bed, leaving through my open door, leaving it cracked behind her. Sighing, I picked the mirror piece back from the dresser. I stared into the deep pools of crimson.

I wonder if he was thinking the same way I was. I wonder if he was as torn up about this as I was. I wonder if he had someone to comfort him like I did. I wonder if he was looking at his piece, his mind running rampant like mine was.

I wonder what he was like. Was he sweet? Kind and thoughtful? Or was he mean? Brash and loud? Somewhere between?

Questions like these made my longing to meet him only grow further. I couldn’t exactly say it was because I wanted to know my soulmate. I did...but...I think I wanted to know what it felt like more. My urge to be able to describe the feeling was eating at me, and I wanted so badly to just know what it was like to feel the way I’ve been told.

I sighed, letting the shard fall into my sheets. Oh well. There was nothing I could do about it now, so I guess I would just have to let fate decide when it would happen.

Until then, my soulmate would always have my curiosity.

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛: 𝙴𝚗𝚍.
𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎
1145 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜