Liberosis

Chapter 14

Authors note:

Guess what...

I said guess!

Surprise!!! This is a double update to celebrate 2 months of my baby Liberosis being out in the world.

She's grown so much in the past two months, thank you for all your continued support.

Okay, okay... I'll let you get on with your reading now.

Songs to listen to while reading:

People Help the People – Birdy

This is how you fall in love – Jeremy Zucker

It has been four days since Harry and I had our fight. Four days of avoiding each other like the other one has the plague, not a single word has been said between the two of us.

It feels like whatever... friendship that was forming has just been pushed under the rug as if it had never even happened. It feels like we're back to square one, back to avoiding each other like how we did when Harry first kidnapped me.

I'm always at one end of the house in the gym or library while Harry is in his office or wherever else the man disappears to. Reading and exercising are the only things I do throughout my days, lucky for me that we aren't talking so I've been able to skip some meals. I know I haven't been eating enough because Harry hasn't been forcing me to eat with him. Not that I'm complaining, helps me out in the end.

Tonight, I lay awake over thinking, I had another nightmare. I fucking hate when I have the nightmares, they are always so realistic, feels like I'm reliving my past and that is the last thing that I want to do. I can feel the same things as if they are happening to me all over again and it makes me feel sick.

I hate how much control my anxiety has over me, I can feel my heart rate picking up and my breathing is becoming shallower. I sit up on the bed to try and take a deep breath but the air that is flowing into my lungs feels as if it isn't real since it isn't helping me at all to catch my breath.

I throw the duvet off of my body to the end of the bed as my body starts to feel like it's burning up. I can't breathe, I need to get to the shower so the cold water can break my anxiety attack before it gets too bad. Attempting to move from where I am sitting on the bed but my legs aren't moving. My hands clamp over my chest and shut my eyes as I keep gasping to take a breath but I still feel like I'm not even breathing, tears prickle in my eyes as I panic more from the feeling.

The feeling of a hand touching my arm causes me to snap my eyes open to see Harry. He looks worried, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes are darting over my face to the hands that are still clamped over my chest.

"Alexa, what's wrong?" He sputters, sitting down on the bed in front of me.

I gasp a few times before I muster up, "I can't breathe."

He scans over my face once more before he slides one of his arms under my bent knees and one arm around my back. He picks me up as if I weigh next to nothing and starts walking at a fast pace down the corridor and down the stairs. I close my eyes and try to focus on trying to breathe. A gust of cool air hits my sweating body and I realise that he must have brought me outside. He places me down in front of him on the outside furniture that he has, I lie with my back to his chest and his legs sit on either side of my body.

"Breathe with me okay Lexi?" He whispers in my ear. "Breathe in, 1, 2, 3, 4." I follow his instructions as best as I can. "Hold, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... and breathe out..." He counts down from a count of eight.