Liberosis

Chapter 38

If any of you are a bit confused with certain things Harry said in the last chapter, a reread of chapter 10 & 18 might help to jog your memory. The other stuff you'll just have to wait to find out... *evil laugh*

Songs to listen to while reading:

Come out and play – Billie Eilish

The smell of antiseptic cleaners mixed with the smell of fragrance soaps stenches my nose. I hate the smell. The sound of machines beeping and quiet chatter bounces in my ear drums. I hate the sound. Cream walls, pale cement floors and blue hospital gowns cover my vision. I hate hospitals.

I feel like hospitals are filled with such negative energy. You get the small percentage of people who are happy, a baby has been born or a loved one is getting better. But then on the other hand, there are people who are grieving. There are people who don't know whether their loved ones are going to survive and today, I am one of those people.

"Niall, you need to get a fucking ambulance or something. I don't know what to do, he's going to die in my arms!" I shriek. Holding my phone between my shoulder and my ear, Harry is sat in front of me in the bath with his back to my stomach, my legs around his unconscious body while I stroke his hair out of his face with my free hand.

"Just breathe, Cara is on the phone with the hospital now. Louis will be there any second now." Niall tries to calm me down. I can hear car doors shutting in the background of the call before I end the call.

"Please don't die Harry, please." I whisper against Harry's head, closing my eyes and praying to any god that will listen for this beautiful boy to live.

I hear footsteps slapping on the wooden floors, coming closer to the bathroom. Louis appears in the doorway seconds later, breathing deeply from probably sprinting here from his house.

"Fuck, Harry." Louis says under his breath. He is still standing in the door way staring at Harry with a panicked look on his face.

Margot appears next to him, stepping into the bathroom by shoving her shoulder into Louis. "Gross, he's been sick on himself."

"Yes! He was sick because I was trying to get the drugs out of his system, you selfish bitch!" I scream, losing any sense of calmness that I was clinging on to. "Louis, get her out of here right now before I fucking lose it."

All I focus on is rocking Harry's body, stroking his hair and holding him while Louis makes Margot leave. Making sure he is comfortable because there's nothing else I can do right now.

Please don't let him die.

His breathing isn't getting better, you can't even tell that he's breathing unless you put your ear next to his mouth. It feels like I'm clinging to his body so that I don't lose him but I think I just might.

Why can't we have a moment of happiness? Why does something always come around and bite us in the ass?

I guess this is what I get for thinking we could ever live normal lives. Will we ever get that?

Louis comes back into the bathroom, kneeling next to the bath while he takes a closer look at Harry. "It's not looking good Lex..." Louis says softly, looking up at me with tears in his eyes. He looks almost as heartbroken as what I feel.

A sob cracks through my chest as I hold Harry's limp body as close as I can to my own, "Please come back to me..." I whisper repeatedly.

"Lex?" Niall interrupts my flashback. All I can think about is what has happened since I found Harry in that bathtub.