Liberosis

Chapter 22

Songs to listen to while reading:

Sad Together – Olivia O'Brien

Ruin My Life – Zara Larsson

Trigger Warning: self harm, self harm scars. Please do not read if these topics trigger or make you uncomfortable.

"Time for Tequila!" I yell at Niall. I don't know why I'm yelling.

"Yes! Tequila time it is." Niall announces. I bond with people by having shots with them when I'm drunk.

Am I drunk right now?

Fuck yes!

I'm at that stage where if I carry on drinking, I'm going to start blacking out but that's not going to stop me. Nothing will stop me—

"We're leaving." Harry states, holding my upper arm as if I'm going to sprint away from him if he doesn't. Maybe I should, that would be funny. Harry runs funny, kind of like a grandad.

"Why are you laughing?" Harry asks me, with a confused look on his face.

"You run like a grandad." It feels hard to pronounce my words through the laughing and the alcohol.

Harry leans forward and mumbles something into Niall's ear that I don't catch.

Harry is so pretty.

"I know I am, now let's go." Harry says to me, guiding me towards the exit. Oops, I said that last part out loud.

I think I must have fallen asleep when Harry and I got into the taxi because I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, we were at the hotel. It was like magic!

Why am I moving but I'm not moving my legs?

Oh, Harry is carrying me bridal style to the room, that's why.

We reach the hotel room, Harry starts carrying me up the stairs. "I wanted to beat you at pool." I mumble, not being able to keep my head still. "There's still time tomorrow, you need some rest." I groan at his answer, he's acting like a grandpa now.

I lean my head on Harry's chest until we reach one of the bedrooms where he places my feet carefully on the ground. I can't remember whether this is my room or Harry's. He holds my shoulders, guiding me to the bathroom, next to the toilet.

"Do you feel sick? You need to drink water." Harry says, showing me a bottled water that he got from the side table next to the bed.

"You need to drink water!" My finger sways as I point at Harry. I don't really know why I said that. I squat next to the toilet so I can sit down but end up losing my balance and landing on my butt ungraciously.

"Whatever you say Lexi, drink your water first."

I sit with my legs stretched out in front of me and my back resting on the bathroom cupboards, the toilet in arms reach next to me. Harry sits down next to me with his knees bent and his elbows resting on top of his knees.

I lean forward and stretch my left arm to reach for the water bottle that Harry placed on the floor. Harry's eyebrows furrow slightly as he stares at my arm. What is he looking at?

Oh, shit. He's looking at the inside of my arm.

"Lexi, did—did you do that?" He asks me, just above a whisper. He's asking about the lines of scars that run across the inside of my arm from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. There isn't really a believable excuse that I could use, no one has ever asked me about it directly.