Let Me In || Ticci Toby x Reader

16 || Tour

I wake up to a knock on the door. My vision is slightly blurry, taking a second to adjust to the darkness. I walk to the door with reluctance. Opening it, I see Toby standing there. He gives a smile that I return meekly.

I forgot he was going to give me a tour of the house. When I accepted, I was a little nervous. But now I am excited to get out and stretch my legs. Hear from someone who lives here about where things are. Maybe get to know him a bit more.

Before leaving, I grab the plate and empty glass. Toby leads me out, shutting the door behind me.

"This is the main living hall. Next to you is Zero. She keeps to herself. Way down there is Jeff and BEN. They hang out a lot. At the very end is EJ, he also keeps to himself. Sally, Clockwork, and I are downstairs." Toby points to the room next to mine that connects to the bathroom. Then down to the right where the staircase leads up. Then to the left where there is a dead-end wall with a window. Before we pass the two rooms leading to the stairs, there is a bathroom that Toby points out. Next to it a closet for towels and sheets. It is mostly empty. There are even a few empty rooms between my room and the closet.

We try to stay quiet, Toby lowering his voice. The one shouting tic tells others of our location, warning them to leave us be despite the shout itself being wordless. And as we descend down the stairs, I notice how full the moon is from a big window. Stars even shine close to it too. It casts a few stray beams of moonlight through the glass and onto the rug at the bottom of the stairs. The rug is ugly as sin but slightly less gross in the moonlight.

Right underneath the stairs is a hall with another array of doors. Toby points out his room, closest to the stairs. He doesn't fold his laundry. I noticed that when I still did laundry. None of the guys do, actually. Clockwork and Sally's doors are down the hall. Another closet and bathroom separate them from the few empty rooms beside Toby's.

We head into the kitchen next, where I place my dishes in the sink. I turn the tap on and wipe away the crumbs. There is a cloth and dish soap, I combine the two and start to clean the dishes. With a quick rinse, they are clean. Remembering where the dishes go, I place them back in their spots. While I am at it, I place the crackers back in the box with the rest of them. Toby looks bewildered as I turn my attention back to him.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Why not?" The sink was empty, with only a few crumbs on the counter beside it. It would have been rude to leave them for someone else. He shrugs it off and leaves it at that.

That conversation ends quickly. Toby opens the fridge and pulls out a packaged square of cheese. He holds one out to me. I take it, unwrapping the small slice and pop it in my mouth. The next room over is the dining room, rarely used. Everyone only eats at the small table in the kitchen if they are feeling social. Only a few do regularly. The rest go eat wherever they want.

"Clockwork and Sally usually eat together. I sometimes join them from time to time."

I can imagine that I will not be eating with anyone unless absolutely necessary.

The living room looks a little different. A few dolls are strewn about the room carelessly. A book rests on the couch, a piece of paper marking the page. The newspapers have been changed, the stack growing with newer papers on top. I grab one and sit down. Toby sits next to me. It is marked as February in the top corner. A month has gone by already. A little over, in fact. Flipping through the pages, I see the missing person report still posted. The wanted poster is still underneath it. It does not spark any emotion in me. Not sadness, not happiness. Nothing positive or negative. Do I even want to go back anymore?

I let the paper fall to the ground as I lose my grip. A tear starts to well up in my eye. Toby reaches over and grabs my shoulder, holding me. I do not know what I want. I have been stuck here for so long, wanting to get away. Now I do not care. Deep down, I know that I belong here now. This is where I will stay and live the rest of my days. Death holds no meaning to me, I cannot escape that this is my new home. Crazy thing is, I feel okay being around Toby. Hell, I even lean into him a bit.

"Let's get some fresh air." Toby stands me up and walks me down a hallway. All the while he holds my hand to comfort me. I let him guide me, staying close to his side. We come to a side door that leads outside. Frost and ice are built up on the inside of the glass at the top of the door. I put on a pair of boots several sizes too large resting near the edge of a doormat. Toby opens it, taking us outside.

The crisp air is refreshing, each breath making me feel more and more free. Cold air pricks at my skin and makes me feel alive. I quickly stop any more tears as the snow starts to come down in large, soft clumps. The treeline is not too far but does not entice me. Instead, Toby and I sit on the stairs leading up to the side door. I stare up, clouds covering the stars. A slight bit of moonlight breaks through and makes the snow glow. It is overwhelmingly calm.

"Gorgeous," I whisper.

"Yeah," Toby agrees. He twitches, letting go of my hand for a second. Immediately, he grabs it again. I notice him looking at me before quickly turning to look out at the winter wonderland instead.

"I won't run away."

"I know."

I laugh a bit and smile. I know what draws me to him. Since I came to this house I was feeling creeped out and scared. That turned into spite, hatred, and desperation. Then it was apathy. When around Toby, it is as if he wards away all the negative emotions. Instead, I feel good. He makes me feel okay.