Let Me In || Ticci Toby x Reader

18 || Pondering

It has been a few days since I last saw Toby. I gave him the note, and he came out to find me when I was wandering around. He said to start doing some exercises to build up some strength. There was nothing more that he said, seeming to be exhausted. It left me confused. And a little on edge. If I need some strength, then something is going to happen. When I asked, Toby refused to elaborate. He just returned to his room for more sleep. Confused, I decided to do what he says.

For the past week and two days, I have been sticking to a little exercise routine. Just some basic stuff from pushups and crunches to yoga poses. I was definitely sore after the first two days, then it got easier. The exercises made me hungrier at night when I would sneak a meal or two. I even need to bring a few snacks into my room during the day. My health condition has improved. A bigger appetite has given me more energy when I fulfill it. The exercise does me good as well.

To keep me from going stir crazy, I keep the window open. I often look out of it to ponder. Think of future plans. Nothing long-term, just what I should do during the day, the next night, and what to do after I get cold from having the window open. It is not a lot, but it distracts me long enough. I try to avoid thinking about what is going to happen. I need my strength for something. And that something is probably not going to be a good thing. I know what it is, but I do not want to think about it.

The time alone has been similar to when I first came here. Except, less and less people are coming to speak to me. And now I feel nothing negative about being kidnapped and placed here. My time here has been enlightening. I realize now that I will never return to normal society. My family are probably getting used to the idea of me being a murderer and never coming back. For all they know, their baby is dead somewhere being eaten by the wildlife. And my friends have probably all gone on with their lives. The people I surrounded myself with would never condone random manslaughter. Even my exes are probably going to be telling their dates that their ex is legitimately a crazy bitch. But that life is all behind me now. And my future is hazy. If I run away, I will either be killed or imprisoned. Or killed while in prison. Not a fan of either option. And I no longer have a hatred for life, so ending it all is not on my list of options anymore. I don't even pity myself anymore. It was not my fault this happened. The only option I do have, is to stay here. I will be dry, warm, well-fed, hydrated, clean. And last but not least, I have company. Toby makes me feel kind of okay. So, as far as making decisions go, I will not make any. This place is a house of killers, and I am not ready to accept that I am a part of it. I am going to take one day at a time, make decisions as they come up, and just enjoy being alive for as long as it lasts. I have a different sort of freedom here. No worrying about money, no needing to get a job or go to school. The best I can do is enjoy it.

Another day starts, and I wake up sometime as the sun begins to set. I keep the window closed. Clouds cover the vast blue sky above. Dark grey clouds are on the horizon, the lighter shade of grey overhead. It sets darker as time goes by. When I finish stretching, it gets darker. When I finish working out, darker still. Even darker when I finish my bath. But something unexpected happens as I leave the bathroom.

"Oh!" exclaims a girl, standing in my room. She is completely black and white, looking like an old cartoon character. Pale, white face with black makeup and stitches from the corners of her lips and across her cheeks. Resembling a skeleton crossed with a human. Her clothes are normal, sticking with her black and white theme. This isn't Clockwork. And it sure as hell ain't Toby or Slenderman.

I stare at her as she stares back. Neither of us move for a good few seconds. My jaw drops, struggling to say something. Ask her who she is, tell her to leave, anything. Instead, she is the one who speaks first.

"Sorry, I thought you were in the bath. It was my day for laundry. I was just returning these clothes. And thought you might need some extra ones. The underwear is new." She holds out a pile of folded clothes. I can only stand, taking a step back. "Did Toby not tell you who I am? I'm Zero."

I say nothing, taking the clothes and bowing my head slightly to thank her. She leaves without another word. As she walks down the hall, I slam my door shut. Looking through the clothes, they all seem normal. Though I don't know what I expected. Bloody and torn clothes? No, that is not practical. Instead, it consists of the pyjamas I wore when I got here, and some new clothes. Black pullover, two pairs of jeans, another green hoodie, brown bomber jacket, sweatpants, white and grey long sleeve shirts and a black tank top. There are a few socks and pairs of underwear tucked inside as well. I change into the tank top and black hoodie. It feels nice to wear jeans again. Like I am a normal, functioning person of society. It is slightly too long, the legs needing to be cuffed at the end.

I don't do much else before someone knocks at my door. I never even heard them approach.

"May I talk to you?"

I open the door, almost too quickly. There is no reason to get excited to see him. But I am. My heart beats fast as soon as I heard his voice and all thoughts went to him. I even smile a bit.

There Toby stands, looking freshly cleaned. His hair is still wet, slicked down against his head. The ends start to curl up ever so slightly. He doesn't even have his mouth guard or goggles hanging around his neck.

"Everything okay? I heard you slam your door."

"Yeah, Zero brought me clothes," I whisper.

"Okay, well, I need to, uh, talk to you."