Let Me In || Ticci Toby x Reader

1 || Paranoia

For months I have had the feeling of being watched. But everytime I look, there is nothing. The feeling lingers every second of every day. It disrupts my entire life. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy.

On the days that I do sleep, I hear odd noises. Crunching on gravel I have in my backyard, creaking in the floorboards, and what sounds like footsteps on the roof. And strange things happen. My car keys go missing on a regular basis. And the blinds are open when I know I closed them before I go to bed. I swear things move during the night when everyone is asleep. Every little noise I hear evokes fear. Even if it is my dog whining to be let outside.

My parents are starting to get worried. They notice I am acting strangely, and the dark circles under my eyes from a lack of sleep. I know they are concerned. It is only a matter of time until we have a talk. Then I will have to visit a therapist. It is not like I do not want to. If I knew that something would relieve me of this stress I would do anything to get it. But I know a therapist would not help me. It's like I have a stalker. Watching. Always watching.

It's late, during the dead of winter. Outside the snow falling combined with the dark of night conceals whoever may be out there. My entire family is asleep, but like every night for the past few weeks, I am wide awake. Exhaustion tugs at my eyelids, begging them to close and let me rest. But the lingering tensions inside of me conquer it and keep my mind wide awake.

It is more present than ever tonight. No noises can be heard throughout the house. The furnace does not even turn on. Everything is peaceful. Yet the creeping feeling of eyes on me is more prominent than ever before. It's making me crazy.

I get out of bed and grab my keys. It's cold but I need to get out of here. Escape from this eerie silence.

I slink out of my room and close the door behind me. My dog, Bean, gets out of bed and walks towards me, wagging their tail. I pat their head and walk downstairs. Bean rushes past me and waits at the bottom for me.

"Not now," I whisper to the sweet being waiting for affection.

In the darkness, I put a nice and warm jacket on. Bean takes their leash off of the bench and brings it to me.

"No baby, not tonight."

I pull on some winter boots and grab a knit scarf and mitts. Bean wags their tail and pushes against my leg, sitting by my feet. They look up at me expectantly with the leash still hanging from their mouth.

"Sorry. When it warms up a bit I'll take you. I promise."

I unlock the door and step outside into the cold of winter. The cold winds nip at me immediately. Snow is blown on my face. Before I even lock the door I have to pull my hood over my head. From the other side of the door Bean whines.

I look around in the night. Nothing is stirring. The snow falls beautifully with nothing to disrupt its peaceful descent. What I can see is the light in my neighbour's room, a classmate of mine probably staying up to write her scholarship essay last minute. I can see her face as she looks out the window into the night. We lock eyes for a moment, but I turn away and focus on calming my nerves.

I step off of my front porch and into the snow. The street lamps shine through the darkness. No figure standing beneath it. There are no added footprints or noises. Nothing that may be lurking in the night. Still, I do not feel safe.

A feeling of panic rushes over me. It urges me away from the warmth of my home where I feel an uninvited guest stays, unbeknownst to anyone else, and venture further into the cold outdoors. As I continue walking, I feel the worry subside a little. For the first time in a while, I no longer feel as paranoid. But the feeling is still present. I almost wonder if it will ever go away.

I get onto a different street in my neighbourhood, starting to think about heading back home. The walk has calmed me somewhat. I feel decent enough to maybe get some sleep. It seems a blizzard is starting as well. That is until I hear a second set of footsteps of boots crunching against the snow. I look over my shoulder and see a figure behind me walking my way, making no effort to hide themselves. In that instant, I feel dread. Even more so than ever before.

I start to run to the only place I know where I may have a chance at losing them. The woods nearby. If I can get there, I can maybe shake them off my trail.

The footsteps behind me start to quicken as the figure realizes I am running. I scream inside my head and bite my lip, begging to any god that exists that I am faster than they are.

"(Y/n)!" I hear my name being called as I enter the trail in the woods. It sounds like that classmate and neighbour of mine, Christine.

I turn around and yell at them, taking clumsy steps backwards.

"Go away!" I yell. Behind me, I feel eyes stare at my back. It is almost as if something could reach out and touch me. More menacing than it ever was. I scream and fall backwards onto my butt.

"What are you doing? There's supposed to be a blizzard."

"Go away!" I scream again and start to cry. As Christine walks closer to me, I scramble to my feet and try to run away again.

Before I can go any further her hand catches my wrist and pulls me back. Her iron grip refuses to let me go as I struggle to get away. I feel anger boiling inside of me.

"Leave me alone!"

I push Christine, causing her to slip on a patch of ice and fall. The air is knocked out of her lungs. She gasps for air.

Unexpectedly, I punch her. It is a surprise to me as much as it is to her. My body moved before I could think. Same reaction as I grab onto her white scarf and pull. Her head is lifted off the ground. I let her head fall to the icy pavement, then I tug on the scarf again to lift her head up again. I repeat my actions, causing Christine to choke and gasp for air as the fabric of her scarf cuts off oxygen and blood flow.

I release my hold on her scarf when I notice droplets of red blood contrasting against the pure white snow. Tears spring to my eyes as I realize what I was doing. For a moment I forget the fear I feel. I was killing her.

Christine moans and turns on her side. Then another wave of panic rushes over me. I pick up the closest clump of snow I see and throw it at her. I can hear an impact. A shard of ice hidden under the snow is stuck in the girls face. Instead of screaming and running away I sit on her stomach and start to use that shard of ice to further wound her. Hitting her again and again, she screams in agony. Blood starts to form from her wounds. She starts to cough and wheeze. And it is almost as if an invisible hand pushes mine to lodge that hunk of ice into her neck.

Christine's eyes look at me in fear. I stand up, only then realizing what I had done. Her eyes are watering, her breath staggering, and blood trickles from various wounds on her face. The worst is her neck, a sharp piece of ice stuck in it. She's dying.

I run as fast as I can further into the forest, abandoning Christine behind me. And as I continue running I feel more and more scared. More and more anxious. But it is the only thing I can do. Run. As fast and as far as I can. Until I collapse.

The snow falling gets increasingly colder. The winds pick up as well. It seems the blizzard came faster than anticipated. But I carry on, unable to turn back.

I have no idea how much time has passed, how long I have been running. My legs are starting to get heavy. The blistering cold wind blows me from side to side, putting off my balance. Yet I continue running. Even with a slight limp as the cold starts to numb my limbs.

I collapse face first, a faint ringing in my ears. Between the trees, I see two figures. I start to panic seeing them. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. Even so, my body refuses to move with the paralyzing fear I feel. As they grow closer and closer I start to panic.

Then everything goes black.