Let Me In || Ticci Toby x Reader

12 || Help

Toby lifts me onto the bed with ease. Is it because of the weight I lost or is he just that strong? Because if he is that strong, I'm going to have a hell of a time trying to leave if he decides that he wants to watch over me like he has been.

I let myself sink into the pillow and blankets underneath me. Toby places the plaid blanket I've been using over me, keeping only my head out of it. It does nothing to warm me up, but maybe with time, I might get some comfort from it.

Toby sits down on the side of the bed. All I see is pity in his eyes and I hate it. I hate it so much. I'm broken. Everything I have felt and been through all comes down to just accepting it, being fine with everything. I'm not okay with that. All my anger and hatred have turned to apathy. Apathy, of all things. I'm a mess, and anyone with a brain could see that.

"It's been over a month," Toby says. his hand comes up to hit his shoulder before returning back down. "Over a month since you came here. And just now I actually get to hold a conversation with you face to face."

Is that how long it's been? My, how time flies when you're stuck in hell on Earth. I wonder how my family is doing. I want to know how everyone is taking the news. Was there a nice funeral for Christine? Did that family of three's neighbourhood change? I want to know how I changed people's lives like it was nothing. Most of all, I just want to know about my family. Are they okay? How are they handling things? Do they hate me?

"If you don't want to talk that's fine."

It's also been a long time since I've spoken and used my voice. Maybe I forgot how to. I hope so. Or I could take a vow of silence.

Toby places a hand on my leg, head jerking to touch his shoulder. His touch is comforting through the blanket. Something about him just makes me feel sort of okay, like maybe I'll get through this in one piece.

I open my mouth to try and speak. If anything, I'll speak to him. Might as well. He's been the only one putting in so much effort to try and connect with me, it's the least I could do after everything he's done.

A sudden jerk of his hand stops me from pushing the air through my vocal cords. It lurches up and curls into a fist, thumping against his chest once. He vocalizes the discomfort of his own self-inflicted punch almost unintentionally, before cracking his head to the side and whispering "it's there."

"Sorry." Toby smiles. "Tourette's, I really can't help it."

He places his hand back on my leg. It really does comfort me.

"It's fine," I murmur. Without me wanting it to, I feel my face heat up. I avert my eyes from Toby and look to the doorway instead. Two feet rush in past the threshold and stop at the side of my bed.

The one girl has returned from making the eggs. They appear slightly runny in some spots and burnt in others. Clearly, the process was rushed, but the scent is tantalizing. I actually feel my stomach start to churn, as if moving itself to get to the food.

"I'll grab a bit more. Just in case." The girl runs off again.

"Thanks, and uh, could you try to lean the door against the frame?" Toby asks, the girl nods. He whistles and flicks his middle finger up. She grabs the door from where it fell inside my room. With a bit of trial and error, it rests against the door frame, slightly off to the side.

Toby looks at me. I stare back at him. I don't know if I should be scared or not. He grabs a fork and starts to bring it closer to my face. This is embarrassing. I am not a child and haven't needed anyone to feed me for years. But reluctantly, I take a bit from the fork. The process repeats a few times. Toby brings the fork up to my lips, and I take a bite after contemplating just letting them kill me. After a bit, the Clockwork girl returns. She holds an apple, an orange, and a sleeve of crackers.

"Can we get a bit of privacy? I don't want her to get too overwhelmed with too many people in the room." Toby takes the food from the girl and sets it on the edge of the bed.

"I'll let everyone know roughly what happened." Clockwork leaves again. This leaves just Toby and I in the room together.

For a moment I just keep letting him feed me in silence. I get increasingly sicker the more I eat. My stomach cramps and I feel a bit nauseous. I turn my head and try to roll my body towards the wall.

"I'm going to stay with you until all this is gone. If you don't want to eat, that's fine, but you aren't getting away with this again. You can't just starve yourself."

It's true. I have been defeated. All spite is gone. It really has all turned to apathy now.

"Can I speak?"

I lie perfectly still and shut my eyes. My hands clutch onto the blanket and I suppress my shivers.

"Well, it's okay if you're shy. But don't shut everyone out. I'd like to get to know you. Once you're healthy enough to talk, that is. So, how about this? I come and help monitor your health. You get your privacy whenever you need it, and you sleep on your own. When you are healthy enough to get going on your own, I give you space. Until then, I will be the only one checking up on you. But, I would like to talk with you more. How's that for a plan?"

It isn't the most disgusting plan in the world. Looks like my time is up being a hermit. I can almost, barely, trust this guy. So if anything, I would like him to be the only one checking up on me. At least he looks normal; and cute. And if I am being perfectly honest, I would like to get some more information. About where I am, who is in this house, what is going on in the world, and also to get to know Toby.

"Fine," I mumble, voice raspy.

"Sounds good, then. I'll let you rest for a bit. I will be coming to check up on you, though. Once you're awake I'll help you eat a bit more."

Ugh. I guess I will have to see what happens now. But all I want at the moment is some rest.