Dilemma (Slow Updates)

VII

"Mommy's gonna see you later on tonight okay baby?" I cooed to Blue on the phone.

"Bye, bye mommy!" She beamed, running away from the phone.

I smiled instantly at her voice. I miss my baby girl. But since Jay is out of the country, he can't watch her while I finish refurbishing our bathroom. It makes it worse that the only thing that's been done is the stand-in shower. We're supposed to start tiling today. Marble. And it's raining the crew had a tough time hauling things in because of the moisture in the ground. It looked like a mud house in my domain.

"She's something isn't she?" My mother spoke to me warmly.

"Yeah..but mommy I gotta go, if I wanna finish this bathroom. I'll talk to you tonight and tell Blue be good for GG for me. I love you mom."

"You're right. I'll let you go Beyoncé, I'd be sure to let her know. And, I love you, too."

We voiced our goodbyes and I put my phone back on my nightstand, heading downstairs towards the front of the house where the workers were bringing in material. Maurice tossed paper bags of a heavy substance to the crew. Ever since the incident with Shawn, my entire perspective on him and how I viewed him has changed. Our relationship has changed in the generality of it. For the, better I'd say.

"Bey, get back I don't want you getting hurt if my aim is a little off." Maurice spoke stern and concerningly at the same time. Still, causing me to feel small. But not as small as before.

"I'll be fine. Do you guys need me to bring-"

"No!" All three of the guys yelled at me. Causing me to mute almost immediately. One thing I don't necessarily tolerate is being told I cannot do something. I'm a grown woman, I can do whatever I want.

Lapping up two of the pretty weighted paper packages, I made my way up to the master bathroom suite. I knew I could do this. Placing it out of the doorway.

"What did I tell you Giselle? Not to do it. You could've hurt yourself, straining your back or dropping it on your foot. The possibilities are endless Giselle. Listen to me next time, damn." He spoke dominantly.

It shocked me because I didn't even recognize his presence following me. He placed his elongated hands around my forearms, softly causing me to look at him. He's been showing more compassion since the incident as well which I don't understand. He shouldn't be. But, I may admit it's a sweet gesture, particularly on Maurice's behalf.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't really think of it like that." I sighed.

"Just stay up here, we're almost done getting all the materials, so we'll get started real soon alright Giselle?" He spoke in the same tone.

I nodded at him, causing him to tsk at me.

"C'mon now Giselle you know what to say." He clenched his jaw at me, looking down at me with aggravation.

"Yes, Maurice." I answered in a quiet manner.

He smirked, gliding past me to the workmen. I laid down on the bed in the master suite, sighing. Just rehearsing over in my head how everything's starting to shift. My husband can't seem to pay mind to me anymore. I don't recall the last time we kissed, said "I love you." Made love..or him even acknowledging the little things I do to try and grasp his attention. Like this new perfume I'm wearing..or anything else. I'm commencing to believe that I'm just not beautiful anymore. He may see me as thirty-one and worn out. It hurts to not have someone you've spent so much time and investing in to not even show an act of affection to you. Someone you genuinely love. Sitting up, I combed my fingers through my hair. I felt something trickle its way down the both of my cheeks. Slowly I brought my fingers up to my face to feel the tears pouring themselves from my eyes without my permission. Who told me I could cry? It seemed like when I started I just couldn't stop. It was a light misty rain at first, which quickly transformed into a thunderstorm. I silently wept, praying that nor the workmen or Maurice decided to come check up on me. Seeing as it has been a good while since I been in here. Wiping my tears, I sniffed and hopped out of bed to head downstairs.