Dilemma (Slow Updates)

VIII

"Can you please hand me the Allen's wrench Julian?" I requested him seeing that he was working directly next to the toolbox.

Seeing as though it's been quite a few days since the encounter with Maurice. I just needed a little time to wrap my mind around things. I couldn't help but feel the way I did when it happened. I was lost in the impromptu kiss. It did upset me, doesn't matter if Shawn was acting the way he is or not. That is my husband, and adultery is not an option. But, I still can feel the tingling sensation on my lips, and the caresses of his large hands on my skin. And his voice in my ear. Guilt was eating me alive. And I should feel guilty, I let another man touch what's rightfully mines and my husbands. That's something I've gotta learn to deal with on my own. So with that as my decision, I depicted that Julian, Marvin, and I would finish reconstruction in the master bathroom. Things have been slow. They lack allot of stamina today and I don't blame them. I've been working their asses off and they're finally exhausted. Maybe I'll just send them home.

"Guys, you can have the rest of the week off, you're obviously in need of rest. I'm still gonna pay you but, I'd rather you rest. You may go." I stood back up, dusting off the jeans I use to work in.

"Thanks Mrs. Carter, have a nice rest of the day." They both nodded, shuffling out of the restroom.

I tossed my husband's work gloves I used in to toolbox, kicking off the boots. Letting my hair down I fell onto the bed receiving a call from my mother.

"Hey Momma, what's going on?" I smiled.

"I'm coming to give you your daughter for the weekend are you busy?"

"No, bring her I miss my little ray of sunshine! See you when you get here!"

"See you then!" She disconnected the phone call.

It's been hard not having my daughter here with me. Her father's still in England, but all in all I missed her here. Home, where she belongs. I couldn't wait to hug her, and ask her how she was enjoying nana's house. Picking out some comfy attire I figured I'd have enough time for a quick rinse. Pulling out a pair of yoga pants and a loose top I ran the water. Placing my phone on the doc, I pressed the iheart radio app putting it on shuffle. "The Moon and the Sky" by Sade played through the speakers as I rinsed off. It was pleasant. I scrubbed my torso extra hard trying to see if more of the guilt would was down the drain. But to no avail. I could still very much vividly remember and feel Maurice. As if he were here with me at the moment. I didn't enjoy feeling unsanitary. Washing the shampoo I lathered up in my hair out I got out against my will. I love showers. Drying and lotioning my body I slipped into my undergarments and clothes, wrapping the towel around my drenched hair. I turned the vent on for it to air and and made my way down the staircase to see my mother coming in with Blue Ivy in her arm.

"Baby!" I cooed running over to her. Taking her smooth out of my mothers hands spinning her around I held her tightly. She hugged my head giggling. I began kissing her and she giggled louder.

"I miss you too mommy!" She beamed at me. It warmed my heart. I felt myself grow misty eyed.

"Mommy why you cry?" Blue wiped my eyes.

"I just love you so much Blue Ivy. And mommy missed you soo much." I kissed her cheeks.

"I'm gonna get going and let you bond with your daughter. See you later baby. Love you." My mother gave me a sweet hug and kiss on the cheek making her way out the house.

"You-"

My phone began ringing the custom tone for me to know it was Maurice. I declined it putting it back in my yoga pants pocket. I climbed the stairs with my daughter on my hip. We walked up to my room.