The Doctor and the Warden ( Male time lord reader ) Season 1

Bad Wolf- part two

Male Programmer: No one programmed the transmat, no one selected the new contestants... it is exactly like those stories. 

Female Programmer: Oh, don't start that again. I think you need to take a session off.

Male Programmer: Well, I would. If you'd take it with me. 

Female Programmer: And don't start that again either. 

The Male Programmer smiles at that. 

Male Programmer: But the rumours go back decades. Saying that something's been... hidden up here. Underneath the transmissions. 

Female Programmer: But the Controller would know. She watches everything. 

Male Programmer: Maybe she just can't see it. Gotta allow for human error. 

Female Programmer: Well, that's your problem, then. 

She leans closer and whispers in his ear.

Female Programmer: I don't think she's been human for years. 

They smile and then look to the other end of the room, where the Controller is wired up to the computers. She is deathly white and muttering under her breath, monitoring and controlling all the transmissions. 

Controller: 18... 19... 20... 21... 22... 23... transmit. 

Bach in the Big Brother house, The Warden and The Doctor pace around laying into Lynda and Strood who are still sat on the sofa. 

The Doctor: Are you insane ? You just step right into the disintegrator? Is it that important, getting your face on the telly? Is it worth dying for? 

Lynda: You're talking like we've got a choice! 

The Warden: But I thought you had to apply! 

Strood: Don't be so stupid. That's how they played it centuries back. 

Lynda: You get chosen whether you like it or not! Everyone on Earth is a potential contestant. The transmat beam picks you out at random. And it's non-stop. There are sixty Big Brother houses running all at once. 

The Warden: What!

The Doctor: How many? Sixty? 

Strood: They've had to cut back. It's not what it was. 

The Doctor: It's a charnel house! 

The Warden: What about the winners? What to they get? 

Lynda: They get to live. 

The Doctor: Is that it?! 

Lynda: Well, isn't that enough?! 

The Doctor and The Warden stare at her in disbelief for a few seconds, then stride across the room. 

The Warden: Rose is out there. She got caught in the transmat. She's a contestant.

The Doctor: Time we got out.

The security camera zooms in on them. 

The Doctor: That other contestant, Lynda with an I, she was forcibly evicted for what?

Lynda: Damaged property... 

The Warden: What, like this? 

And they point their sonic screwdrivers directly at the camera, destroying it. Back in the 'What not to wear' studio, Jack is now dressed up in tennis garb, and is swishing a racket around in front of the mirror. Before stopping, irritated.