GyllenHolland: Chaos Walking

Finally

Days passed since Jake and Tom's fallout. Tom's cuts were healing fine, and their communication was decent. Nothing spectacular, but progress was being made every second.

Tom's manic episodes were still hard to deal with. He'd go from energetic and loving to crying nonstop. Not to mention he was having constant panic attacks when he got nervous or when Jake was having a hard time talking to him.

"You're doing it again." He said.

Jake stood a few feet away from him. "Doing what?"

"Pushing me away." He started crying, not being able to control his emotions.

"Baby don't cry." He walked towards him, pulling him into a hug. Tom kept sobbing as he wrapped his arms around Jake's back. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

"It fucking hurts s-so much, when y-you're like that with me." Tom cried. His breathing fastened as his fear of not being cared about grew. He lost control of his bodily functions as his heart palpitations sped up. He let go of Jake and sat down on the bed.

"Tom," Jake said trying to stay calm, "take deep breaths."

"I-I'm trying." He cried. It wasn't working, his attacks had gotten so bad that barely anything calmed him down anymore. Meaning Jake had to find new ways to help him.

Jake got onto his knees, in between Tom's legs that were dangling off the bed. "Hands." He soothed. Tom gave him his shaky hands. "Look at me." He slowly raised his head, making eye contact with his boyfriend. "Do spider-fingers, like I showed you."

He began tapping his fingers together. He focused as he connected his index finger to his thumb, his middle finger to his thumb, his ring finger to his thumb, and finally his pinky finger.

"1,2,3 in, 1,2,3 out, okay?"

Tom kept tapping his fingers together as he watched Jake's chest rise and fall. Reciprocating his breathing pattern. His lungs filled with air again, and his flushed cheeks returned to its normal color. His sobs finally stopped once he collected himself.

"You good now?" Jake asked, making circles with his finger on his thigh.

"Mhm."

He sighed, and got off his knees, sitting beside him on the bed. Tom laid his head against his shoulder, continuing to do spider-fingers.

"I'm sorry that it's gotten this bad baby." Jake whispered, kissing him on the head. "I'm sorry that I was too caught up in my own shit to realize that you weren't okay."

"Stop." Tom finally said, not wanting to hear anymore. "We're trying. A-and that's all that matters."

Jake laughed. "So wise."

"I k-know." He stuttered, laughing a little bit. He pressed their lips together. He ran his thumb over his cheek, and mushed their bodies onto each other, causing them to fall back into the bed.

Jake kissed his soft lips, tasting his salty tears. The sound of lips smacking began to echo throughout the apartment. Tom slowly climbed on top of him, continuing to brush their lips together.

He reached into Jake's sweatpants, feeling his erection. He moved from his lips to his neck, beginning to suck on his delicate skin, making sure not to give him a hickey in the same spot as last time.

Jake was moaning at his kisses. Tom's lips against his skin was marvelous. He ran his hands down Tom's torso, pulling his shirt over his head. He threw it to the foot of the bed, and let out a surprise moan when Tom began nipping at his ear.

He turned his head, gently pressing their lips together, while Tom snuck his hand down underneath his boxers, softly jerking his member. He grunted, loving the feel of his hand around his cock. "I want you baby." Jake moaned in his ear.