A Twist of Fate (Snape x Reader)

Chapter 27

A/N: HA! I bet you thought I was gonna make you wait. I wouldn't so here you go besties Hope you enjoy <3

"Just talk to me, please." 

My voice was quiet and a little shakey. I knew something was wrong and I wanted to know what but at the same time, I didn't. I knew a great deal about him. I knew he was much nicer than he let on, I knew he liked to listen to music in his chambers when he was alone, I knew his favorite color was buttercup yellow, specifically buttercup. I knew he didn't hate everyone even though he seemed like he did. I knew that he is actually quite good at Quidditch, I knew he really liked the beach for some reason. Hell, I even knew that he was obsessed with Cauldron Cakes. 

But at this moment I was scared. Not of him but of what he was going to say to me. I was scared he was going to tell me that Voldemort was going to come back. I was scared he would tell me that he didn't want to be with me like I so desperately wanted to be with him. I was scared that the space I had put between us had messed everything up and that there was no way we could make anything work between us.

He sighed and looked me directly in the eyes. His eyes were blank. There was no emotion in them yet he was squeezing my hands as if he was scared. 

"I'm not sure you really want to know," he said quietly. 

I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head slightly. "Well I am and I want to know," I said as determined as I could.

"Voldemort has been defeated," he said, his voice low and dark. "I don't exactly know what to do now. Being in his service...being Dumbledore's spy...that's all I've known for the past several years. I've had no time to myself, no other thought than keeping my real intentions a secret. Everything I've done has been for everyone else, not for myself and in the boathouse I- I thought my fate had been sealed. I had accepted it but then you," he paused for a moment and lifted a hand, brushing his index finger across my cheekbone. "You came. You sacrificed yourself, for me. You don't even know the things I've done, and yet, you saved me."

"The things you've done? Severus, I don't care about that. I care about you, and you only." 

I gave a very grave expression as I stared back at him. I wasn't about to cry but it made me extremely sad he thought so little of himself.

He pulled his hands away from me and back into his lap. "You hardly know the half of it. If you knew it all, you wouldn't care about me. You'd be just as ready to send me off the Azkaban as the others are." His voice was low and sounded frustrated. 

"Then tell me. Tell me everything because I can tell you now, it won't change how I see you. It won't change how I feel about you." 

His eyes narrowed and his eyebrows were lowered and pulled closer together. His lips tightened into a straight line and his fists balled on his thighs. 

"So you wouldn't care if I told you that I've aided in the torture of many people, including innocent muggles? That I'm the reason all of this started because I went and told the Dark Lord of the prophecy? Hell woman I'm the reason your beloved friend Potter is an orphan!" He was angry and it showed in his voice all until his last few words. 

I placed a hand over his balled fist as it now rested on his knee. "Severus," my voice cracked but I continued. "Don't blame it all on yourself. It's not all your fault."

"Oh but it is. You don't even know the half of it." He turned his head even further away from me. 

"Then Severus tell me! Just bloody tell me already!" 

He drew in a deep breath before speaking and even then his voice had a certain reluctance to it.

"I joined the Dark Lord at a young age. Arrogant I was but I worked for him," he said with a snort. "I was roped into all the things they did despite my age. I found the prophecy and spoke it to the Dark Lord, but only part of it. And soon after I realized that I didn't want any part of anything they were doing anymore. But there was no out. I either continued to work for him or I'd be killed. So I took to Albus and practically begged for mercy. He gave me so much of it, so much I didn't deserve. We made a deal, I'd become his spy, and he...he said he would protect Potter's family. Obviously, we know how that turned out."