They Don't Know About Us

Chapter 5

Kai looked at the hand that was offered to her. Sasha Pascua. Where did she hear that name before? She thought. "Hi, Sasha," she greeted her. She took Sasha's hand and shook it. Sasha thought Kai had a firm handshake. Somebody once told her that you could tell a lot about a person just by shaking their hands. A firm handshake shows confidence, assertiveness, and sometimes even bravery. A weak handshake almost always shows timidity, insecurity, and vulnerability. Kai's handshake was firm and strong. Sasha could tell she had a lot of confidence in her. "Are you Filipino?" Kai finally broke the ice. "Sit, sit. You can sit down," she motioned for the chair and Sasha sat down. "Yes," Sasha answered. "Do you speak tagalog?" Kai asked. She didn't want to assume. "Yes. Yes I do," Sasha replied. "Oh good, good," Kai said with a smile. "I think mas madali siguro kung mag-tagalog na lang kayo ni lola. Ay, nakatulog na," she chuckled when she noticed her grandmother snoring. Then she watched as Sasha stood and grabbed the fleece blanket that was draped over the couch. Sasha gently covered the elderly woman's body with it. Kai was definitely pleased. Thoughtfulness and initiative, check!  "Sorry, it's getting cold. I don't want your lola to get cold," Sasha apologized. "No, no, no. It's okay," Kai assured her. She continued to watch as Sasha made sure every part of Tonya's lower body was covered with the blanket. Kai had to smile. She loved how meticulous Sasha was.

When Sasha finally sat down, Kai gave her a big smile. "Thank you," she said to her. Sasha nodded. "I'm just doing my job," she told her. "So, can you tell me a little bit more about yourself?" Kai asked. She didn't want it to feel like a job interview, though she thought she had every right to get to know the lady that was supposed to be taking care of their family member. She's technically her employer. "I'm a caregiver. I've been doing this for fifteen years. I've taken care of all sorts—," Sasha was explaining, but Kai tried to politely interrupt her. "Sorry to interrupt you, I don't want this to feel like a job interview, but you're going to take care of my grandmother, so I want to get to know more about you. You. Not necessarily your job references, just—you. Your personality, what you like to do, anything that you're willing to share about you besides your job history," Kai said. This was odd, Sasha thought. Usually the families were more concerned about her job history than her own personality. "Oh," Sasha thought. She struggled more with this than telling her employers about her list of experiences as a caregiver. "There's nothing much that I could share about me that's worthy of mentioning," she said. Kai liked her honesty, but she wasn't going to settle with this. "Okay. Then let's just do it like this. What would people describe you as? What would they tell me if I asked them: 'What is Sasha like?' or 'How would you describe Sasha?'" Kai restated her question. She thought hopefully that would help Sasha know how to answer her. "I tend to keep to myself most of the time, so they would probably say I'm shy or reserved or timid, anything of that nature. People would often wrongly accuse me as someone that doesn't like to deal with people, but when it comes to taking care of my patients, I think that's when they would tell you I'm compassionate. I have a lot of sympathy and heart for other people," Sasha explained. Kai smiled. She liked everything that came out of her mouth. "Good," she told her. "I like that," she added. "What made you choose to work as a caregiver?" She asked. Sasha tried to think. "Money," she said which caught Kai off guard. "At eighteen, I was set on being a nurse. I wanted to study at my local community college and then transfer to a Cal-state or to a University, so I knew I needed the money. When a friend had told me about an agency that was hiring caregivers with or without experience and certification, I was up for the job. I thought that would give me an upper hand when it comes to getting experience. Plus they told me that most of the time I wouldn't have to do anything; I would have a lot of free time working for a senior than I would if I were to work for—let's say—a fast food restaurant or a retail store. I thought that would be perfect if I were to go to school. I could work and study during my free time at work," Sasha explained. Kai nodded. "So are you still doing this for the sole purpose of earning money?" She had to ask. "Yes and no. I need to make a living, so yes, I do this for money. And also no, I don't just do it for the money. I found out over the years that I actually enjoy this job. I like interacting with my patients. I love the idea of being the one that has the honor of taking care of them and making sure their lives are as comfortable as they can be before they pass," Sasha answered. Kai nodded. "So namatayan ka na?" She asked. "Sorry, do you prefer English?" She asked again when she realized she had jumped into speaking in Tagalog. "No, okay lang naman mag-Tagalog. Ewan ko ba bakit ako English ng English. Nasanay lang siguro, pasensya ka na," Sasha said with a little chuckle. Kai couldn't help but laugh with her. Then she noticed Sasha's smile. She thought she had a great smile. Her eyes disappeared when she laughed. Sasha thought the same about Kai. "But to answer your question, yes. Oo, namatayan nako. More than a few times actually," she said unfortunately. Kai nodded. Then she sighed. "At least may experience ka na sa death," she told her. Sasha smiled a little. "A little too much than I would like," she admitted. Kai nodded. She understood this feeling. "I feel you," she told her. Then their eyes locked into each other. Sasha could barely imagine what a nurse like Kai had to go through these past year with the pandemic happening all around them. "Thank you," Kai said as if she could read Sasha thoughts. "For what?" Sasha asked. "Thank you for your honesty, and thank you for being patient sa pag sagot ng mga tanong ko," Kai replied. Sasha nodded in return. "You have all the right to get to know kung sino yung mag-aalaga sa lola mo," she told her. Kai smiled again. "I'm glad you understand," she said to her. "Do you mind if I ask kung bakit hindi natuloy yung pagiging nurse mo? I mean I'm basically just assuming since you're working as a caregiver still," she asked. "Tama ka. I didn't continue pursuing nursing anymore," Sasha started to explain. "Over the years, things happened that made me realize nursing isn't for me," she added. "I'm sure you heard this before. You know you could earn more by pursuing for that degree. Parang nursing na rin kasi tong ginagawa mo eh," Kai said. Sasha nodded. "Yes, I've heard that countless times before. Naiintindihan ko. Pero siguro nasanay nako sa ganitong setting. I like going to the patient's house and taking care of them at the comfort of their homes," she added. "Nurses do that too, and they get paid at a much higher rate than you do," Kai informed her. "Yes, but rarely. At the moment, wala akong time and energy to finish school and earn that degree only to be working the same kind of job," Sasha explained. "For a different kind of pay," Kai added. "I know. Siguro wala lang akong time for now or maybe I do and I'm just being lazy. But like I said, things happened over the years that made me realize that nursing isn't for me," Sasha said. Kai tried to be respectful, so she tried to leave it at that.