They Don't Know About Us

Chapter 32

A nurse led both Kenny and Sasha towards the room where Kai was placed. Before they could enter, they were reminded that only one person was allowed at a time and that each visitor must wear a protective cover for the safety of both them and the patient. "Ken, sure ba si Kiera na she wants me to go in first?" Sasha had to ask. She wanted to make sure.

"Yes, Sash. Sya mismo nag-request. Baka hindi pa rin sya ready makita yung ate nya," Kenny replied while she tied the knot behind Sasha's protective gown.

"Ikaw ba? Ayaw mo mauna?" Sasha asked again.

"It's okay, Sash. I can wait. Tama naman din si Kiera eh. Matigas ulo nyan ni Kai. Hindi rin yan nakikinig samin. Sayo lang yata yan nakikinig. I'm sure pag narinig nya yung boses mo, she's going to try desperately to open her eyes just so she could see you," Kenny smiled a little.

Sasha swallowed. "I hope so," she said quietly. Just as she was getting ready to enter, Kenny looked at her like a mother letting go of her child on the first day of school. "Are you sure you're going to be okay there on your own?" She asked. "Pag may naramdaman kang hindi maganda or if you feel like you're starting to feel the symptoms of your panic attack, call me kaagad. Do not hesitate, please lang, Sash. Tawagan mo ako kaagad," she reminded her.

Sasha nodded. "Thanks, Ken." Then she slowly entered the room.

Upon seeing Kai on the hospital bed, Sasha had no control of the room when it started to spin around her again. She swallowed. She took a deep breath while she tried to remember what Kenny had told her. She needed to get it together. "Kai needs you," she said to herself. "Breathe," she whispered and tried to recall the breathing exercises she learned during therapy. "Inhale..1...2...3...4," she inhaled slowly. "Hold it," she held her breath while counting to four again. Then she slowly exhaled while counting backwards, "4...3...2...1." She did this a few times until the room began to spin slower. She grabbed onto the wall while she made her way towards the side of Kai's bed. "I'm coming," she whispered to her out of breath. "I'm coming," she repeated.

She swallowed while holding her stomach. She felt like running to the bathroom. The sensation of the room spinning made her feel nauseous, she thought she was going to hurl. She rubbed her throat like she was coaching her puke to go back down. Then she inhaled and exhaled a few more times. "Slow but steady, Sash," she told herself.

When she finally reached Kai's bed, she immediately grabbed hold of the chair and pulled it under her so she could sit. When the spinning of the room came to a halt, the tension on her shoulders and back slowly eased. She felt like she could breathe normally again. She took one big breath and exhaled slowly. Then she swallowed when her gaze turned towards Kai.

Her hands trembled and they were ice cold, so she tried to warm them up before reaching for her friend. Then she held her hand and placed it on her cheek. "Sorry, my hands are really cold," she told her. She could feel the lump in her throat, but no tears came out of her eyes. "My cheeks are warm kaya dito ko muna ilalagay yung kamay mo ha?" She said like she was asking permission. Then she closed her eyes. Though Kai appeared lifeless, her hand still felt warm. Sasha loved the feeling of Kai's warm hand on her cheek. "Gising ka na," she said while she rubbed their hands together. She stayed quiet while feeling the softness and smoothness of Kai's skin. She wanted to feel every bit of warmth she could get from Kai's touch. Then she inhaled slowly while she kept talking to her:

Remember that time na kinidnap moko and we went on a spontaneous roadtrip papunta sa North? First time ko na-meet sila Kenny and Zoe nun. I mean—of course you would remember that, right? Sino ba namang makakalimot sa trip na yun after getting locked inside one of the most famous na kulungan sa mundo noh? Fun times.