Life still goes on (Lexa/you)

Chapter twenty two

"... i sat here as my heart hurt and felt like my world was over..."

"hey y/n i made some pasta if you liked some" camila said as i was still sitting at the door hugging my legs

"you know she isn't worth it right?" camila added which caused me to look up with tears starting to threaten to fall

"what would you do if you watched the person you're madly in love with walk away without a fight for something you thought was forever?.." i finally said after not replying back to what she had said as her words replied in my head "she isn't worth it" if she isn't worth it then why am i still here it's honestly pathetic

"y/n?" camila said getting me out of my thoughts but i didn't answer but i felt her sit by me which caused me to take a final look at her, i can't believe she came into my life while it's crumbling down

(yeah you didn't cheat but your still a cheater)

"but she is worth it camila she was the first person i've ever loved" i said as tears started tearing once again

"doesn't mean she's the last y/n she'll forever be your first to everything but doesn't mean she has to be your last" she said as i stared at the ground

"but i want her to be my last i can't let her go-" before i went on

"but she let you go y/n if she didn't really want this to end she'd still be at that door not wanting to end this because she wanted this forever" she said cutting me off

maybe she was right.. i mean i'm not her first love cause costia was i can see why she would leave me for her, it's like if i dated someone and she'd want me back i would drop everything for that girl regardless..

as we sat here in comfortable silence there was a knock on the door so i stood up wiping my tears and took a huge breath hoping it would be lexa

i opened it with a smile that would greet lexa but turned into a frown when i saw clarke don't get me wrong i'm happy to see my best friend i haven't seen her in forever

"well don't look too happy to see me y/n" she said as she pulled me into a hug

"so how are you and lex-" she cut herself off as she seen camila standing there with a soft smile "or did you finally move on?" she said with a smirk looking between camila and i which caused me to widen my eyes in shock and camila with a small tint of red on her cheeks

"what? no" i said going back to the frown i had on which didn't go unnoticed by clarke

"what's wrong y/n" as soon as those words came out of her mouth i broke down again and she pulled me into another hug

"she didn't fight for me clarke she just left after she said we s-should end this" i said crying into her shoulder

"are you fucking kidding me right now y/n like seriously?" she asked and both camila and i nodded

"i was here when it happened she made it seem like she was coming to make up for what she had done but she ended things with a serious face and turned to walk away" camila informed clarke for me as i just cried rivers into clarke's shoulder

"that fucking bitch i'm gonna fuck her u-" i didn't let her finish

"no" i mumbled into her neck

"what do you mean no?" she said pulled me for her as she looked into my eyes

"camila beat her up i don't want none of you hitting her anymore, i know she hurt me but i still love her at least she's happy" i said looking at the ground

"but happier with costia y/n? i wanna make her life a living hell, how much times are you gonna let her back in just to hurt you all over again" clarke said as she held onto my shoulder

"may i just add that i really gave her a good beaten she deserved?" what camila just had said made both me and clarke look up as she had a cocky smirk plastered on her face which made clarke laugh her ass off and made me have a small smile because i'm hurting too much to even be happy without her

"y/n you're a bad bitch okay? you're gonna realize you didn't lose shit to her but she's gonna see what's truly missing whenever costia just ruins the fuck out of her life now that i think of it i don't gotta do anything cause her loving costia is 10 times worse than what i was gonna do" clarke said as she pulled me into a tight hug and i gave her a smile

after two hours camila and lauren had to go so it was just me and clarke watching mcu movies

we finished age of ultron and i turned to clarke

"you have to admit wanda's hot as fuck" i said looking at her as she just made a weird face

"no y/n i highly disagree because have you seen Natasha i mean come on y/n i'm questioning your test in woman" she said with a laugh

"you do know they're both red heads right? i think maybe red heads are my type" i added

after we both came to an agreement that both the woman were equally hot she left but not before lecturing me about lexa and how i should just move on, i watched her leave and sat on the stairs in front of my house looking at the stars admiring them

after an hour of sitting outside with my thoughts consuming me like literally eating me i laid down and heard foot steps coming towards me

please don't die please don't kill me im too young to die i didn't fall in love again

"so this is what you do late at night" someone said but i didn't wanna look up yet

"basically takes up my night instead of sulking up sadness in my room" i said still not looking at the person by me

"remember we used to do that" the person said which made me look up

A/N: i am trying to come up with things like should lexa come back into y/n's life like dating again or should i add another love interest if so then who?