Life still goes on (Lexa/you)

chapter thirty five

Y/N pov

it's been three days since Lexa got into the accident i've been locked in my room since,

my dad Luna and Clarke try to come talk to me about what happened when they bring me food but i couldn't let a word out,

it just feels like it was my fault, if i wasn't in the hospital she wouldn't have been rushing to see me

Luna has mentioned it's probably time i should go and visit her but what will i do? just stare at her?

"are you ready to go y/n?" she spoke as she walked in and leaned on my door frame

"even if i wasn't, it wouldnt matter" i said as i avoided eye contact getting up to collect my things

-skip ride to the hospital-

she pulled into the parking lot and brought the car to a stop,

i made a loud sigh taking in the sight of the hospital, my sigh had caught her attention

"y/n we can take a few minutes or however long it takes for you" Luna said but before she could say anything else i opened my door and walked straight for the hospital

i passed through the sliding doors knowing Luna is trailing behind me, we got up to the reception but has she started talking i couldn't get a word out

"what can i help you with" she spoke with a gentle yet raspy voice as she looked between both Luna and i, confused as none of us said anything

"we're here to visit Lexa Trikru" Luna said breaking the silence

"and you guys are?" she questioned

"this is Y/n her dad had spoken to you and your staff about her visitation hours because of her condition" she said as she stepped in front of me

"oh right i was wondering when you guys would be stopping by, Lexa is in room 114" the receptionist said with a soft smile as luna nodded guiding me towards the room we were looking for,

i stared at the door for a couple of moments before reaching for the doorknob and pushing it open slowly

i took a few steps in but coming to a stop seeing her hooked up to machines.

"y/n happy to see you here, i've been keeping her company for you" i heard a voice causing me to look towards them, Costia

"she still hasn't woke up but the doctors say that she's stable and in better shape then she was the first day, he's hoping she'll wake up soon" i started walking over to the bed taking everything in

i held onto her hand staring at her in disbelief, "if i'm in a dream id like to wake up now please." i whispered

i stood there for the longest time forgetting about the two other girls standing in the room with me until costia pulled up a chair behind me

"me and costia will give you privacy if you need us we'll just be in the waiting room" luna put her hand onto my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze as they both exited out of the hospital room.

they say that as if there is no hope that lexa will ever wake up, how can they be so calm with everything that had happened...

i took a second the look around the room it was dimly light, she had a small table that was piled with flowers and cards.

i pushed myself closer to the hospital leaning down to rest my head on her hand that i was holding,

everything came flashing so quick, the very first moment we met in person at the train station, all the moments we shared, the arguments and fights we've had, the first time she told me she loved me, the time clarke made me go with her to costia's party,