hope

057 ; Lil Durk

lyric imagine !
song: supermodel
creator: sza

note: I absolutely love sza shes a mood af

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I'm writing this letter to let you know
I'm really leaving

I packed my stuff up into my duffel bag and a suitcase. I looked over at my barely furnished apartment. All that remained was a couch, bed, tv stand along with the flat screen tv.

And, no, I'm not keeping your shit
Heard you got some new homies

I stared at his clothes on my floor. I sighed as I picked my stuff off the floor. I entered my 4 person car and checked my socials before going to disable my accounts.

Got some new hobbies
Even a new hoe, too

I looked at his story. He posted him and his new girl, India. My heart broke apart as I remembered the words he told me that night. "I love you"

Maybe she can come help you
Maybe she can come lay do
After we're done

I just imagined the shit he would do to her. The same things he did to me. I cried as I drove down the highway, faster than I was supposed to. But I didn't care.

What's done is done
I don't want nothing else to do with it

I didn't wanna be there for when him and his girl India go off again. This wasn't healthy for me. Mentally or Physically. staying up all night or not eating for days at a time isn't healthy but I kept running back to him like a lost puppy.

Let me tell you a secret
I been secretly banging your homeboy

Reminds me of the time I and von fucked. he was like a coping mechanism. I like him but he wouldn't be healthy for me either. 

Why you in Vegas
All up on Valentine's Day?

He promised to spend Valentine's day with me. Another one of his stupid lies. He was spending it in Vegas with India. She stole everything from me. I was supposed to be in her shoes but she just had to come in between everything.

Why am I so easy to forget like that?
It can't be that easy for you to get like that

She must've had something else I didn't. Here I go again, doubting myself. Another non mentally healthy thing. I pulled over and sobbed harder than I have in the past 3 months.

Oh, no, she didn't
Ooh, yes, I did
Oh, no, she didn't
I'll do it again

I hope he's thinking I actually did leave cos I did and I'd leave all over again. I felt disappointed in myself. I've never felt this way for any other nigga. What's more different from him?

Leave me lonely for prettier women
You know I need too much attention

When I think about it, India has everything I don't. She has looks. from her model body to her amazing personality. I could never compare. I was too insecure to be in a relationship. He would have to push everything away just to tell me I was beautiful on a daily basis. If he really meant it.

For shit like that
You know you wrong
For shit like that

He knows he's wrong and he doesn't care. He's gonna regret it I know the type of idiot he is.. and unfortunately, I fell for him.

I could be your supermodel
If you believe

If he just put his trust in me, he would've seen and received the best of me but he left for India. There ain't shit she have that I don't.

If you see it in me, See it in me
See it in me

If he couldn't see the shit I did for him, then he was good for me. I wiped my eyes and pushed harder on the gas pedal, speeding further.

I don't see myself
Why I can't stay alone just by myself?

What did I do wrong? what made him forget about me? My tears rushed back to my eyes as my tears blurred my eyes once more.

I don't see myself
Why I can't stay alone just by myself?

Why did I have to go to that god-forsaken club that night? Why did he have to call me over? Why didn't he just leave me be? We wouldn't be in this whole situation.

Wish I was comfortable just with myself
But I need you, I need you, I need you

I don't know why I was so damn insecure. I banged my fists against the steering wheel. I wasn't fat, I was natural and I got good genes. Why wasn't I satisfied in myself?

Ooh just get a load of them
They got chemistry

I read all the comments between her posts.

fan123: yall are so cute together !
indias.2nd.child: mom and dad look iconic 😍😍😍
kingvonfrmdao: looking good twin and sister-in-law

I got so fucking agitated with them all. I imagined my face over hers. We would've been cuter.

All they could say
We like brother and sister

We've known each other longer and he just leaves that for the vultures to eat. he picks her but it's cool.

Look so good together
Bet they fuckin' for real

But it's not at the same time. He changed everything. This whole friendship. I wanna take him from her but they have kids. And I wouldn't want them in a broken family. But the bad side of me wants those kids to feel the pain I felt.

And they was right
That's why I stayed with ya

I wished I didn't go to that damn club it fucked up my stupid life.

The, the dick was too good It made me feel good
For temporary love You was a temporary lover

We were only supposed to be a fling. only a fling. but I got attached like a dumb bitch. I wish I could go back and tell my self "don't fall for him" but I can't.

Leave me lonely for prettier women
You know I need too much attention

I wish he knew that I was going to leave and he wouldn't be able to come to me when him and India break up. I have self-worth.

For shit like that You know you wrong
For shit like that

He can go on with life. With his wife and kids. They're cute, but, we would've had cuter ones. He would've been able to see him or her in 9 months, but he left. I told him to pull out.

I could be your supermodel
If you believe

I pulled off the side. This pity party's over. I got on the road, driving serenely.

If you see it in me
See it in me
See it in me

He never believed in me. 

"I want you to have my seed" he said, pounding into me from the back. Every time our skin clapped, my high neared. My moans became to more persistent.

"Fuck daddy, I'll have your SEED-" I moaned as my orgasm crashed on me. I moaned in bliss.

I don't see myself Why I can't stay alone just by myself?
Wish I was comfortable just with myself But I need you, I need you, I need you

I saw bright headlights and everything went black.

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a/n: do yall like this???