The Flame (A Norman Reedus Story)

Chapter 90--The Bowery

 Chapter 90—The Bowery

Saturday January 31, 2015 9am

Jenna’s POV

 

I’ve been up for about three hours going over my Set List for tonight.  I’m beyond nervous; honestly I think I’m going to puke.  I have to narrow down the Set list to about fifteen songs and I’m not sure what needs to be pulled.  I have a few songs that are pretty much mandatory for tonight but I have a few others I’m on the fence about.  My attitude has changed in the last 24 hours; I’m not as angry as I was.  My attitude has a direct effect on what I want to sing.  I need to run through a few songs before sound check tonight but it’s too early to do that; everyone is still asleep.

I throw on my biker jacket, grabbing my Ipod, cigarettes and coffee cup as I head out onto the terrace.  I cue up a song on my Ipod as I light my smoke and sing along as I decide if this song’s a keeper for tonight.

Midnight gettin' uptight where are you
You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you

Hey Jack it's a fact they're talkin' in town
I turn my back and you're messin' around
I'm not getting jealous don't I like lookin' like a clown

I think of you every night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

Daylight spent the night without you
But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do
I'm not being angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man bet you can treat me right
You just don't know what you was missin' last night
I wanna see you begging say forget it just from spite

I think of you every night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I think of you every night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
I hate myself for loving you***

 

As I finish the song I look over and see Norman watching me as he smokes a cigarette.  I smile at him and ask, “How long have you been listening to me?”  He grins, “I came out here at the end of the first chorus.  You can sing that song like nobody’s business Jenna, are you doing it tonight?”  I sigh, “A week ago I would have insisted on it but I’m not really feeling it today.”  He looks surprised, “Why?”  I grin, “I’m not pissed off anymore.  My attitude has done a 180 since the other day and I don’t feel that way anymore.”  He bites on his thumb before he asks, “Were you really that mad at me?”  I shrug, “Not really at you; just pissed off in general.  I’d been holding in my anger for too long.  Not having the ability to yell and scream at Andrew messed me up.  You ended up being the scapegoat for my anger.  I’m sorry.”  He gives me a soft smile, “Its fine.  I really understand.  I just have to learn to steer clear of that redheaded temper of yours.”  I give him an impish smile as I argue, “I’m not that bad Norm!  I’m pretty damn patient and calm overall.  I just eventually need to vent a little.”  He smirks at me and mumbles, “Yeah like a freakin’ volcano.”  My eyes get wide as I hear him and I playfully gasp, “You are an ass Reedus!”  He walks closer to me and kisses my cheek as he says, “I love you though; volcano and all.”  I shake my head and laugh, “You better or I’ll make you sorry.”  He just grins at me and lights another cigarette.  I do the same and fiddle with my Ipod as I smoke.  He watches me and asks, “Have you figured out your Set List?”  I nod, “I think so.  We can always change things at the last minute if we feel like it.”  I look up at him and he asks, “Going to tell me what you’re singing tonight?”  I shake my head, “Nope (popping the p).  You’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”  He rolls his eyes as he crushes out his cigarette butt and heads to the terrace door with me close behind him.