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:: AEJI
I ended up spending almost the majority of the night outside last night with Prince Jay. I don't know what happened but we just sat there and comfortably talked with each other and the time just flew away in a blink of an eye. Me and Prince Jay could definitely have talked longer but since we realized the sun was about to rise, it felt better to cut the conversation we had.
Prince Jay had already added me to his friends when we started our long-late-night-talk, meanwhile I'm still confused if I actually should trust the firebending prince or not. Even if I can admit that I like Prince Jay's personality, he's a very genuine and caring person once you get to know him, but.. Even if my view and opinion can change, doesn't it mean blood and origin can change.
I let out a sign as I arrived on the top of the hill me and Teacher Haji were at two days ago. I found this hill very relaxing and peaceful due to the view over Ba Sing Se you can see from the hill. My eyes looked at the view over Ba Sing Se for a few more seconds until I decided to close them, straighten my back and cross my legs at the same time to form the sitting position I wanted.
My inhales and exhales were slow and concentrated. Focusing on the movements of my chest since it's there I feel my breath the most. For every second that passed by my attention and focus on myself was raised, at the same my attention and focus on my surroundings was lowered.
"Aeji!" A male voice suddenly interrupted.
I looked behind me annoyed and confused to see who the male voice belonged to and saw Prince Jay walking towards me with a smile on his face.
"Am I disturbing?" He asked as he scratched his neck.
"A little but it's fine. But what are you doing here?" I replied.
"I was just wandering around the neighborhood and then I spotted you sitting here all alone so I decided to walk up to you" Jay responded while he sat down beside me.
"You live in this neighborhood?" I asked a bit surprised.
"When I walked you home last night I told you I lived a few blocks away from your house and you have already forgotten it?" Prince Jay responded while laughing.
"I'm sorry, I can be a little forgetful sometimes" I said while I couldn't help but laugh along with Prince Jay.
"But Aeji.. Were you perhaps meditating?" Prince Jay asked after we stopped laughing. I nodded which made the prince nod back at me.
"Can you teach me?" He added.
I looked at him a bit surprised since it's my first time receiving this request. But honestly, it makes me quite happy to hear that Prince Jay wants to learn how to meditate.
"Why do you want me to teach you mediation?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Remember what I told you yesterday about my relationship with my father, being at my so-called home and generally being on Fire Nation ground. I received a reputation to live up to even before I was born, which has made me build stress and pressure every day for as long as I can remember" Prince Jay answered.
"Being able to calm down is something I have wanted to do for a long time now since I constantly have tons of weight on my shoulders. I tried meditation very recently which didn't work so well, but I want to give it another chance since I know it's something I need" He added.
"I agree with you, mediation seems like something you need so I can help you with it" I replied while I looked at the prince with a smile.
"Oh really? Thank you Aeji" Prince Jay said and looked back at me with a smile.
My eyes kept looking at Prince Jay after seeing the smile on his face. I couldn't help but stare.. Noticing the small details of his face. Daye's voice suddenly started to play in my head when she said it's a shame that Prince Jay is from the Fire nation because he's quite handsome.
At first I thought Daye was out of her mind when she called Prince Jay handsome but now when I think about it.. I agree with her.
"Do you like my face?" Prince Jay suddenly asked with a chuckle when he caught me staring.
"No.. It's not like you're ugly or anything like that, I just got stuck with my gaze.." I immediately responded while I stuttered with my words.
"You're free to look at my face, it's not like it's a crime or you need to pay for it" Prince Jay said and looked at me with a smirk.
I shrugged after listening to Prince Jay's comment. I feel kinda embarrassed after staring at him but I didn't even realize it so what was I supposed to do?
"So should I start teaching you mediation?" I asked to change the topic of our conversation. Jay nodded with a smile on his face.
"Many people who try mediation for the first time find it quite difficult at first since it's not like what they expect it to be. Many people expect that meditation is going to make you feel like you're levitating a half meter above the ground, so when they try and realize it's not working like they expected.. They give up immediately" I said.
"I believe you have some sort of expectations as well on what meditation is going to feel like which might have made it difficult for you the times you have tried" I added.
"I wouldn't necessarily say I have expectations on mediation which have caused difficulties and problems, since it's me who's the obstacle here. During my whole life I have been taught to solve my problems by being full of anger and rage since that's what firebending is known for. Even if my anger and rage is a benefit for my firebending, is it a disadvantage for me mentally" Prince Jay replied.
Every word Prince Jay uses whenever he speaks about his problems at home always goes straight into my heart, every single one of them.. And every single word he uses, always gives me another reason to feel scared about being too close with the prince.
I'm just too scared of being abandoned and everything is going to end up as a lie..
"Close your eyes" I suddenly said.
Prince Jay looked at me a bit confused at first after my sudden order but did as I said and closed his eyes.
"I want you to focus on your natural inhaling and exhaling right now. Think about how it feels, is it slow, fast, heavy or maybe light. I also want you to focus on the part where you feel your breath the most, it could be through your nose, belly or chest" I added.
My eyes kept focused on Prince Jay as I gave him introductions on what he was going to do. Prince Jay seems to be really calm and focused on what he's doing right now which I didn't expect after everything he has told me about how difficult it is for him to calm down.
What if everything is just a lie..
"Do you want to know something Aeji?" Prince Jay suddenly asked.
"I think the expectations many people have of mediation about it's going to male you feel like you're levitating a half meter above the ground is right, because it really feels like i'm going to levitate from the ground any second soon" He added with a small chuckle.
