This is How it Ends x Bellamy Blake

10 | lincoln

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts.

The walk back was the most dreadful hours of my life. My watch had stopped working so I had no idea how long we've been gone for or how long this walk was.

The watch was a gift from my mom. We didn't really use watches on the ark because everyone just followed what the announcements would call out. For example there was a wake up call, lunch call and night time warnings. Now that I was on earth, after Clarke helped me set it up, I would use the watch all the time.

"We're almost back." Bellamy spits from 2 meters in front of me. I try to catch up to walk beside him but he speeds up.

I was thinking about what I said and how I told him I had feelings for him on the ark, and a little here. I didn't even know I had those feelings still it just blurted out. I mean I'm not going to ignore the fact that ever since the rain Bellamys hair change has made him like irresistibly hot.

Even a blind person could see.

His clenched jaw and soft brown eyes whenever we would bicker. The way his shoulders fell after he was done yelling. How you could basically see his abs through his dark blue shirt.

I mean seriously, hot.

"Are you going to ignore me forever now?" I ask.

I didn't even mean for that to come out.

Maybe I should start thinking before I speak.

"Not forever, just until I change back into my old self." He emphasized on the 'change' and 'old self'.

"I didn't mean it like that Bellamy. I understand what you went through." I go to grab his hand to stop him from walking.

I mean I really did understand.

My mom was dead too.

"No you don't! You have no idea what it was like. I was alone. All alone. I lost my sister, my best friend and my mother all in a short amount of time. I was this close, Avery! This close." He cuts himself off before he could explain. With each word he would step closer and closer to me causing me to bump into a tree.

"This close to what?" I asked. I think I already knew what he meant.

"To fucking floating myself. Once Octavia turned 18 she would be dead anyways why should I get to live on?" He softly speaks backing off of me. His shoulders fall and his eyes were watery.

"I'm sorry." I reply in almost a whisper. I didn't know what else to say. The boy hurt and he came down to earth a man.

The boy I knew was dead.

He was still on the ark. I'll have to get to know this Bellamy. I want to get to know this Bellamy. I feel bad I haven't already tried to understand this Bellamy.

He turns and starts walking back to camp. We finally arrive and as soon as we walk in the gate Clarke pulls him aside. He gives me one last glance before Monty grabs my shoulders and turns me around facing the 'Unity day' party.

"Where have you been!?" Monty asks as Jasper runs up beside him holding cups with what I assume to be moonshine.

"Um, I was with Bellamy." I answer almost uncertain of what they'll say.

"Cool! Let's go." Jasper says pulling me into the crowd.

I guess they didn't care.

Jasper basically shoves cups full of moonshine into my mouth. I guess he wanted to party. I begin to feel the affects of the drink. My vision was kind of blurred but in a good way. It looked like a real party. Ones we've seen in the movies. Actual teenage fun, or so I thought.