A Hero With/Out Time

Chapter 20: My Goddess (Part 3)

It happened far quicker than I expected. No sooner than I had closed my eyes did I feel my mind wrenched from my body. It was an odd feeling, more uncomfortable than painful. A body formed around me naked and the world began to form into view. It was completely white. No walls or edges, even the floor I stood on, completely white without shadows. I couldn't help but heave a sigh. I had been here before.

"So you were the Goddess," I said openly.

A womanly figure shimmered into existence. Like before it was vague and as it spoke its voice changed in tone with each sentence but always female, "Hello, it has been some time."

"Yes... it has," I didn't know whether to smile or not.

The figure laughed, "Are you surprised?"

"You could say that."

The figure reached out and touched my face causing a warmth to spread, "Always so calm despite all that's happened. You truly do interest me."

"I have my moments," I said evenly.

"That you do. Now while I know why you have come here, I quite like the sound of you asking," the figure seemed to smirk.

"Knowing what you are now, I think my faith's become a little weaker," I sighed and moved on. "First I want to confirm something. When I kill myself, the position in time I return to is set before I did, is that right?"

"Mostly," the figure nodded. "While killing yourself will mark the day. It's not only the act of killing yourself but also the act of wanting to die or really, to give up, to well and truly want to return. At that point your gift, or curse as you may think of it, will trigger."

I frowned, "I see." Which meant the moment I gave up was the moment I truly lost. If it all I had wanted to die when we faced the Monster in the border forest... how many times would have it taken me to escape? I shook away the thought, "In that case I have to thank you. When my home Axel was destroyed I almost gave up and tried to kill myself to return. You did something to Taylor to stop me didn't you?"

The figure stepped back, "Yes. You could say I felt pity for you and did more than I should have. I'll have you know I broke a few rules for that."

"Thank you," I spoke with all my heart. If at that time I had killed myself, I was afraid of what I could have become.

"Ah yes," the figure seemed to smile, "you can be sincere when you want to be." She walked around me stepping lightly. Although I could feel myself turn to face her, my body did not move. "You have asked one question, but you have another, speak. I'm quite excited for this one."

A nervousness spread through me but I forced it down, "Lately I've had the memories of someone else interfering with my mind. Someone named Jane and most importantly not from this world but the Hero Lara's."

The Goddess giggled, "What a funny way of phrasing it."

"I need to know why I'm seeing these things and why they're affecting me so much. Can you tell me?"

The Goddess paused, stopped walking and sat down, not on the floor but an invisible chair. She folded her legs, "I can."

"Then please tell me."

"I'm looking for a question."

"What question?"

"Not that one." She seemed to enjoy my piling frustration. "I'm looking for a single question to which I can reply."

"Fine," I grit my teeth. "Who is Jane?"

For a moment I saw a true smile and a dazzling face appear as the Goddess looked at me. I understood she was beautiful but I couldn't comprehend more than that and as her voice spoke, my entire body and mind shook. Just one simple word. "You."

The vision faded and I was left stunned, "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. You are Jane and Jane is you. Rain is Jane. Jane is Rain. You are one being, forgotten but one in the same." The figure stood up.

"How is that even possible?" I couldn't understand her. If I was Jane then shouldn't I remember him?

"Because we made a bargain," the figure's hand moved gently across my cheek. "You who saw your dearest friend disappear from your eyes pleaded to protect her, to find her, to be with her and I gave you that chance."

"What did I do?" my words escaped slowly.

"I offered a price and in return you would be reborn in your current world. Of course I guaranteed a safe upbringing and that you'd meet."

"So my ability to not die was you?"

The Goddess laughed and as she did so the sound vibrated through the world, "No, that power is your own."

"Then the price I paid?" As much as she was answering my question I could only feel myself become more and more perplexed.

"Your existence." The figure stepped back, "The memories of Jane and his peaceful life in return for your new one. Really no one, not even you should have remembered Jane. You would have retained his subconscious but that is all. I however underestimated the power of the Hero and she tweaked things. Her soul is truly beautiful."

"Leave Lara out of this," my words weren't a threat but begging.

"Unfortunately she is tied to this more than you know."

I heaved a sigh and stared at my bare hands, "So I'm Jane...." No wonder I felt complicated about his girly face. "Will I ever remember?"

The Goddess shrugged, "Probably."

"You know you're really not God like."

"Would you like to see me smile again?"

"No thank you. As beautiful as you were I think my brain would fry from that and that's just not worth it."

"Some would disagree."

"And those people I call idiots."

The figure laughed, "Blunt with your remarks as usual. This is why I like you. Even in front of me you do not bow fully."

"No problem," I said and looked towards her. "You talked about Lara before, just how tied is she to this world?"

"Hmmm, I can't tell you."

"Of course you can't," I sighed again. "Thank you though, for what you've done for me. Is there anything else I should know? I hope I'm not hiding any other secrets." I said jokingly.

The Goddess however smirked and once again I saw her true appearance. The power of it blinded me, causing a ripple to course across my body. "There are a few."

As the vision faded I stared at her blankly, "Wait what?"

"Oops we're out of time," she tapped her wrist as if looking at a watch.

"Hang on you can't just say that and leave!"

"Sorry, you have more important things to deal with. Bye bye."

The world began to collapse. Chunks of white fell apart to reveal a hollow black and eventually so did the ground around me. I fell reaching upwards as she looked down on me, "You-,"