The Lockdown

24/04/2020

Day 5 of the liberation. Overall, today has been above ok but not perfect. I would have given it a perfect score if not for the distraction that came up again today in the form of no other but my school. I was called to be discussed with about issues concerning the Cambridge A-level results. I spent about 2 hours there but I had already taken my afternoon nap before I was summoned.

The morning studying session was ok. SAT and online courses from 2 to 6 and Spanish and ASL from 6 to 10. The language studies were the best for me because I found out that I had made big improvements. After returning from school, I decided to just read HP and do some Spanish and ASL again because it was just too addictive. I'm ending the day by adding this entry.

 About the outbreak, the number of cases is at 2.8 million with over 190,000 lives lost. Ghana increased its tally of new cases by 125 and deaths by 1.

I recently found out that I have an addiction to something negative but I can't man up to say it and nobody knows about it. It's not drugs but something else and I have been fighting it for over 2 years now. Unlike other addictions, this one will stop without withdrawal symptoms on its own but I want to end it myself before it does so I feel self-content. 

I came up with something I find beautiful, it goes like this

"Lack of a spiritual connection left me lost.
Attachment to metaphysical questions wore me out.
Redefining my purpose for existence depressed my soul.
Seeing my future in probabilities made me confused.
Quest for finite knowledge took me to infinity."

butit is something that explains 95% of my thinking. People sometimes tell me tobe "normal" when I try asking questions like "Is it possible to be omnipotentwhiles you are a part of everything?" or "is the universe a design without adesigner?", but I do not admire them. Why should I act like everything isnormal when the universe itself is in a constant state of chaos? Why don't theywant to understand how it works? I am going to tackle those questions in myother book anyway so let me forget them for now. 

Whenever people are faced with challenges, it's a common thing to hear them saythey don't know what to do and that time will make things better but if I'mmistaken in everything else I have ever said, one truth I know is that it isimpossible not to know what to do, the only problem is if doing what you arethinking about will give you right or wrong results, which in any case isrelative to your mindset. 

New quote alert!!! "The hardest thing to do isto do nothing". I feel enlightened tonight. Shazam out.