The Wrong One

Chapter 22

Three days later Adam was finally getting discharged from the hospital. It was a miracle he could even walk after everything Jake has done to him. I couldn't help but feel insanely guilty for all he had been through. If I hadn't stupidly went to see him this wouldn't have happened. I just wanted to prove to myself that I was strong enough to face him. That he couldn't keep this hold on me that he had. I was sick of being afraid, it was time to fight back. It's time to stop looking over my shoulder and constantly being afraid of seeing him. If he ever got out and I saw him again I would be brave. That's what I was trying to tell myself. But the truth is, right now I was definitely still afraid. 

"Here let me help you." I grabbed his arm and slowly lowered him to the couch. There was something bothering him and it was killing me. But I also wanted to let him rest and give him some space. I would totally understand if he wanted to leave me. I mean look at what I put him through. I headed to the kitchen to make some dinner with whatever I could find. "Grace, we need to talk for a minute. Come sit down." My stomach dropped but I went and sat next to him on the couch. Tears already stinging the back of my eyes. He furrowed his brows and wiped a tear that was falling down my cheek. "Hey, I'm ok. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but I will be. I bounced back the other two times and this time is no different. Once we get settled in LA I'll look for a gym and everything will be fine."

How could he still be so positive? After everything we've been through he still wants to be with me. For some reason I could feel the heat rising to my face and I stood up. I started pacing the floor and thinking way too much about this. "Adam, I love you so much for still wanting to be with me after all of this but why? I've put you in three separate situations where you've been badly hurt each time. I am the reason you have a stab wound, bruised ribs and so many other things. I couldn't feel more terrible that these things keep happening and yet you stay positive. You still want to be with me after all of this? I'm a walking disaster." 

The flood gates opened and I dropped to the floor. I tried to hold in the tears for as long as I could. I didn't want to make this about me, I wanted to focus on Adam's recovery and show him I could be strong too. But I couldn't anymore, I'm exhausted. "Hey, hey come here. Don't talk like that. None of this was your fault. You had no idea Jake would turn out to be such a psycho and come after you. And I fully understand now why you wanted to go visit him. You need closure Grace. I see the way you flinch at small sounds or look over your shoulder when we go out. You're scared and that's ok. But we will get through this, together. I don't ever want to be without you no matter how crazy things get. Which hopefully, they never get that crazy again."

We both laughed and I laid my head on his shoulder gently. I really didn't deserve this man but here we are. Him confessing his love for me yet again, Calming my insecurities. "I seriously do not deserve you. Thank you for always being there for me and literally saving my life. if you hadn't busted in the door when you did I.." I stopped before I admitted what would've happened. Truth is, Jake would've raped me. I was nowhere near ready to say that out loud. I tried to push the thoughts of his grimy hands all over me out of my head but they marked my brain like a horrible movie that kept repeating itself. The way he talked to me made me sick to my stomach. "Hey, I see your brain working in there. Don't think about what he would've done ok? He didn't get a chance to do anything so let's focus on that yeah?"

I nodded my head but I knew he actually did do something to me before Adam rushed in. Something I left out when talking to police and when it actually happened. I guess I wanted to block it out and pretend it didn't. I could still feel the soreness down there when I moved around and that was what kept me from getting it out of my head. "He actually did do something to me right before you broke in. I tried to push it out of my mind because I went numb while it was happening. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell you but I know I can't move forward unless I say it." I started sobbing again of course and he grabbed my hands. I could see the fear in his eyes as he waited for me to say it.