It Will Always Be You (MxM)

6. Nathan

Many things had happened in just one day, not even a day, in just hours! I met Nolan Thompson again who was currently accused of raping a fifteen year old. At first he didn't recall me at all and I thought that's what I wanted but he started asking questions about my kids- our kids and how their mother might be beautiful, and I had to tell the truth that I birthed them. Leaving him all confused and surprised with my answers.

I don't know what happened to me but I was so blunt with my answers.

First, I can't believe that the man I lusted for over my life, the man that got me pregnant, the man who is the father of my kids was right in front of me, the man I just found out that I still loved even though many years had passed. I have always asked myself why I don't date, why I don't feel anything for all those men I have been with all these years and I found out that none of them made me feel the way Nolan did.

Only seeing him again made my body to react instantly. Just looking at him I feel those unfamiliar butterflies in my stomach, the feeling I thought I would never get again in my life. Just looking at him puts my body in over drive and I can't think properly. He hasn't touched me yet but my body is burning inside like flames.

Now I know I still love him like never before, it's like I have been waiting for him to come back when I knew deep in my heart that I won't see him again but when my eyes met his, I was a mess, I wanted him like I have never wanted any one before. Seeing him smile when he saw our kids gave me a warm feeling in my heart.

Nolan was looking at me as if he was trying to figure me out, I knew he was trying to know where he had seen me before. I had changed a lot over the years and I couldn't blame him for not recalling me yet I was pissed that he couldn't recognize me but can you blame him he never liked me at all.

Then Theo happened to come and remind him who I am. I didn't intend to tell him that I am the Nate who he impregnated and left, no! that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to mess with him and later tell him that it was a lie but the look on his face made me bite my tongue stopping myself.

I thought he would leave when I told him the truth and it made me happy to see him deep in thoughts not knowing what do with himself, I saw him shaking in fear and in that moment, I wanted to do was to scoop him into my arms and hug him tightly. He disappeared without knowing about the twins and getting to know them and I can say he was surprised seeing them. I wanted to tell him it's ok but I couldn't.

I thought he will disappear again yet he surprised me, I didn't expect him to insist to have lunch with us. To say I wasn't surprised would be an understatement and what made me happy was that he was trying too hard to interact with the kids, does he want to be in their life too? That I don't know.

If so, will I agree with it?

I don't know!

But if I didn't want him to know his kids, I wouldn't have told him anything. I know the reason why I told him, it was for my own benefit not for the kids I know I'm selfish but I just want to continue seeing him more, look in those eyes of his which I had missed so much which melts my whole being, I never knew how much I missed him like today. All the feelings which I thought had varnished are making their way into my heart right now. I am confused and excited at the same time.

Most of you might be thinking that I am forgiving him easily.

I know what he did was cruel but with years I tried to understand him. Yes, I hate him but for god's sakes he was just seventeen, he was young and afraid and yeah, I was young too but I can understand him.

And he had his reasons!

First, he wasn't gay and it was just a bet to come on to me, stupid high school kids tend to do the unspoken and later regret what they had done. I feel bad because my kids weren't a product out of love on Nolan's side but on my side it was. He was the man I was in love with since middle school I spared secret glances at him, he was a jock, with a group of friends and I was just a nerd who buried himself in books

I was nothing!

He had friends, like many and he had a gorgeous girlfriend. Yet I had no one, no friends, no boyfriend no nothing only my family. By that time my mother and father were my best friends and Nolan had a reputation to keep so I don't blame him.

If people found out, all he had worked hard for would have gone in a blink of an eye. I was just a gay nerd. I don't regret whatever we did that month! I loved it so much. Call me naive and stupid but having Nolan by my side was a dream come true.

He was the one person I always wanted and I was glad at least I got a piece of him which I never knew I would get like ever; he was a forbidden fruit and I knew that. I always thought he was straight but when he started talking to me, smiling at me, having lunch together at the back of the school I was just smitten by him and I couldn't resist. So when he told me how much he loved me I was on the moon and I wanted to give him all of me.

It was stupid of me but I was young and Nolan made my heart skip every minute I saw him around those halls of Abigail high. He was my dream each night.

I can't believe he didn't know my last name and he couldn't recall some details about me even though I had changed. That hurt but can you blame him, he never loved me at all. Yet I was happy when he talked about me, that smile when he said that I was pure, made my stomach to flutter, that feeling I had missed all these years which I thought I would never get again. He was the only one who could make me feel like this and bring out those feelings in me.

Nolan Thompson was the only person who can make me forget about the hatred I had for him, all the bad things he did. I always said that I will never let him see his kids if I ever see him again. But here I was smiling like a fool just looking at him interact with them. I loved the sight so much.

Father and mother are going to kill me, they never wanted the kids to meet Nolan because of what he did, it wasn't my intention to tell him but the words got out of my mouth without thinking and the worst thing was accepting to go to lunch with us that is beyond me. I should have protested but no. I stood there like fool not saying anything. I can't believe after all these years I still love him like I have never loved any one before.

This foolish motherfucker! what does he have those others don't. I scolded myself.

I won't lie, I have slept with plenty of men over the years but no one had ever captured my heart. No one has ever had me smitten, no one had given me enough reason to introduce them to my kids or family in general.

I had a boyfriend, Asher whom I spent six months with. He was a sweet man, caring and patient with me. He was so supportive of me. He was perfect for me but something was missing, I knew it deep inside my heart, I didn't know what but it was there, now I know what it was. He wanted to break up with me saying that he was tired of me calling out Nolan's name in the middle of the night. We talked about it and apologized.

I was surprised when he said that, it was totally new to me and each time I spent the night with him, I had to apologize for calling out Nolan's name in my dreams. It was affecting our relationship and it wasn't normal at all. How can you fuck someone when they had someone else on their mind? I knew it was a failed relationship.

We normally slept at his house, there was no need to introduce him to my kids or take him there yet he wanted so much to see them, that angered him so much and we almost argued every time we talked about it. I knew he was serious about me but my heart disagreed with him. We called it quits in a good way which I ended up apologizing to him for wasting his time from that day I never been in another relationship I hook up here and there until three years ago.

Now there came Sebastian, I was in third year of college and he approached me to help him with a project, he was a freshman by then and I agreed to help him. I helped him out with his project and one thing led to another. We started seeing each more often and we became friends, I introduced him to Theo and Mateo and they also liked him. Since then, we became good friends.

It started as a joke just messing around, kissing here and there, for years. I never wanted to mess around with him because I was three years older than him and I always saw him as my little brother but he insisted saying 'why I should go hook up with random guys when he was there', he was single so there wasn't a problem. We agreed that no strings attached and it's just sex and that's how it has been all these years. We meet have sex that's it.

Now it had been three years we hook up nothing more but lately he had started changing which I didn't get, first he said he was tired of hiding and if I knew better, we weren't hiding, everyone knew about us and I tell them it's just sex. Though Mateo and Theo never liked it at all but what was the harm with having casual sex with your friend, I didn't see anything wrong so we continued. Nowadays he had mood swings which I don't get at all.

I will find out eventually!

Now that I have met Nolan again the love I have been craving, the person I have been dreaming about, the person who makes my heart skip.

what happens next?

I really don't know but stick around and find out more.

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Ok this chapter wasn't the best.

Tell me what you think about it.

I wanted you to know what Nathan thought about while telling Nolan the truth. Now we know it wasn't intentional,

Was he doing it for his kids because he wants them to know there father or not.

Comment and tell me what you think.

Sorry last time I promised you two chapters but I didn't deliver but today, I will deliver. Next chapter will be up in just seconds after this one.

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