"Daddy can uncle Nolan stay for dinner?" Madi asks with a gleam in her eyes looking at me pleadingly. My eyes were wide as I peered at Nolan who was standing behind Madi. He too had a surprised face on, I didn't expect this would happen. I think they love him.
"Of course, sweetie, if he isn't busy of course" I replied with a smile, my heart was going to come out at any moment because of how fast it was beating.
"Will you stay" she faced Nolan and I am sure she was giving him one of those big puppy eyes of hers.
"Yes, bubble I will stay" he confirmed with a smile making the little girl beam in excitement. Madi hugged him tightly before she ran off to the bathroom leaving us alone "sorry I couldn't say no, she looked at me with those adorable eyes of hers and I couldn't take it" Nolan said nibbling on his lips, I can see that he was nervous.
"I too am a sucker for them, she manipulates me using those eyes and eventually you have to give in to her demands" I say playing with my fingers in nervousness. I feel a sweat fall at the back of my shirt, I can't believe we are going to have dinner with Nolan, the father of my kids; I have always dreamt of this moment and I didn't think it would ever happen.
"I can go if I am imposing" he said biting his lips hard and I'm sure they will bleed if he continues biting on them like that. He put his hands in his pockets shuffling from one foot to the other.
"No, no, you are not imposing Nolan, you're more than welcome" I say smiling at him "let's go downstairs and wait for them to finish, Earth will help Madi" I said turning around not waiting for his response. I was nervous, feeling my body shaking in excitement yet I had to control myself. I can't let my emotions out. That would be embarrassing. This is what we get for crushing on straight guys.
Why him God! I mentally groaned inwardly.
Asher was a great guy, why didn't my heart love him like he deserved, why am I so hung up on Nolan. I know nothing can happen between us ever again but my heart skips a beat when I see him or when I just hear his name. Seeing him yesterday made me want him again even after the things he did to me, I just let him back in to my life just like that just because my heart wants it.
"Thank you for picking them up, I hope Mrs. Lorraine didn't give you hard time" I say when we reached living room settling down to wait for the kids to come.
"She wants to talk to you, she said you ran away from her this morning" he replied although he seemed to be deep in thoughts "but I talked to her for you all is good"
"What did she say?" I ask pulling off my neck tie and unfastening the first two buttons on my shirt.
"Nothing serious just that Mason should stop beating other kids. That's all" I nodded, it's not new for her to say that so I just shrugged "tired?" I heard Nolan ask adjusting himself on the edge of the couch looking at me as if he wants to say something
"Yeah, too much work at the office" I replied feeling my palms sweat. Nolan moved away from his seat sitting next to me as he faced me. My heart beat sped at a hundred degrees, why is he sitting next to me.
"Nate-" he called out putting his big palm in mine squeezing it tightly "I am sorry" my eyes went wide. Why is he apologizing. He had done nothing wrong as far as I know.
"Um, huh why are you saying sorry" I ask my hands trembling, the sparks passing through my body were making me dizzy. His body heat and intoxicating scent filling my nostrils. He smelt like pine tree and lemon which smells totally amazing. My breath was coming out harshly and I was struggling to breath. I felt like crying, I missed him, I missed smelling his intoxicating scent. I missed having him holding my hand like this.
"For all I have done in the past. I shouldn't have abandoned you" Nolan leans closer to me our breath was mingling together our noses almost touching, what is he trying to do, my whole body was shivering goosebumps making their way to my body just by his breath on my skin. My mind was in a daze, not knowing what to do and him squeezing my hand wasn't helping at all. I looked into his baby blue eyes which held a lot of regret and sadness and my heart ached.
I unconsciously lifted my free hand caressing his cheek to reassure him that everything was ok. I looked down at his mouth as I licked my dry ones nibbling on it softly. His looked delicious and I was tempted to lean in so that I can press my own on his. I wanted to taste him so badly, I have so much to tell him, like how much I have missed him, how much I have dreamt about him being here in my house with our kids.
But my mind was stuck, not knowing what to do. He closed his eyes leaning into my touch as I continued to caress his cheek softly. He looked so handsome and gorgeous just like the first time I met him. Nolan opened his eyes as he gazed in my brown eyes and the longing in his eyes made a shiver run through my spine. He let my hand go leaning in to press his forehead on my own "Nathaniel" he called out in that deep hoarse voice which made me want to moan instantly but I held it inside swallowing hard. This could be embarrassing.
What was he going to do, was Nolan going to kiss me or not? Do I want him to kiss me it's obvious guys, I want him to kiss me so badly. "Nathaniel" he called out again his voice was soft and smooth it made my stomach twist into million butterflies his mint breath fanning my face. The feeling I wasn't able to get when I was with Asher, the feeling I don't get when I am with Sebastian. The feeling I didn't get when I hook up with all those men but I got it from him only.
"Hmm" I replied not knowing what to do, my body was on fire, real fire. I thought my heart will leap out at how hard it was beating. Nolan licked his lips looking at my own leaning in. I unconsciously closed my eyes waiting for him to kiss me my mouth sightly open. I could feel his breath on my face and when I thought I was getting the one thing I always wanted...........
"Daddy, daddy" I pulled away from him when I heard Mason calling me standing up instantly. " Daddy Madison doesn't want to put on her pajamas, I am hungry! She always behaves like a baby" Mason says rolling his eyes. I cleared my throat looking at Nolan from the corner of my eye who was still seated with his head held down staring at the floor.
"Go seat on the dinning with your uncle Nolan I will go see what is wrong" I managed to utter. Mason ran to Nolan pulling on his hand and walking away to the dining room after giving me an awkward smile. As soon as they left, I let out a heavy breath which I didn't know I was holding all along, what was that all about. I don't get it at all, is he playing tricks on me again like in high school, he was with a girl now he was here playing tricks on me.
I decided to shake it off jogging upstairs to see what happened to Madi. She was fussing and crying. I asked what happened as I helped to put on the pajamas, she wanted but they did not fit her yet she loved them. I carried her towards the dining room and put her down on her seat. Earth put the food on the table, we started digging in the kids having conversations with Nolan who gazed at me from time to time.
I was pushing my food around in the plate my appetite long gone still thinking about what had happened earlier. Would he have kissed me or not, why would he do something like that to me, this time I won't let him play with my heart. I am no longer that naive kid I was years ago, even though I want him so much, I won't let him play with it again.
"Daddy are you ok" I looked over at Madi who was looking at me with a worried expression.
"Yes baby, do you need something?" I ask lowly clearing my throat.
"You're not eating your food daddy" she pointed at my full plate, I looked down nodding.
"Oh yeah I am not really hungry, that's all" I smiled at her as I took a glimpse at Nolan who was also looking at me with regret in his eyes. Did he regret doing that to me, why does it hurt, it hurts that it's also a mistake.
"Can uncle Nolan take me to bed and read me a story" Madi said yawning.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you are too old for that" Mason glared at her.
"No, she's not old for that" I say glaring at Mason who shrugged it off standing up. "I think uncle Nolan is tired don't you think" I replied softly looking at him while ruffling Madison's hair "and he has something to do not so" I say looking at him.
"Yeah, actually I have something to do now, maybe another day bubble" he probably caught on; Nolan stood up kissing their foreheads good night. I wanted to think without him here.
"Go to your bedroom I will come and tuck you in" Mason scoffed but didn't comment running off to their rooms. They were sad seeing Nolan leave but I need to think. I walked him towards the door.
"Thanks for dinner, it was delicious" I nodded not wanting to talk, my emotions might catch up on me and make me cry in front of him and the last thing I need now is to break down. " Nate about what happened earlier I-" I cut him off.
"It was nothing Nolan I know" I say looking down biting on my lips hard while gripping the door knob "I will call you about the case, good night" before he could reply I closed the door in front of his face as I slide down the door finally as the tears that I was keeping at bay slide down my cheek.
Why does he always hurt me?
YOU ARE READING
It Will Always Be You (MxM)
浪漫" first cut is the deepest" others believe it others don't but in this case believe it! From an abandoned pregnant boy to being a successful lawyer who has never lost a case. Nathaniel Wright was at his happiest, living with his twins he adore so m...
