Muse [18+] • REVISING

35 | Erode

V E R A

━━━━━━━━━━

Sleeping was never this hard for me until I came to France. I'm not sure if I got used to the way the city looks at night, or if I grew into the habit because of him. I remember on some days, I'd fully forget to exist whenever the two of us were together. We'd let the sun and the moon communicate, while we got caught up. Like somehow, time begins and ends with him.

I toss and turn, trying to force myself asleep, but slumber never comes. I lean over to check my phone on the nightstand and it's barely even ten, but after dinner, the four of us decided it'd be best if we got some sleep before Amelia's funeral tomorrow. I spent the last few hours trying to read Damien. As he sat across from me, I just looked at him like the vault he is, unable to make out anything. What's he thinking about? What has he been doing all this time? When is he leaving for Italy? What's his new tattoo? Did he miss me? Is he even grieving?

Pushing the covers from my body, I pull open a door that leads to the balcony, overlooking the backyard. Peering over the railing, I see the pool that Cordelia had been talking about, and a part of me wants to jump in and sink straight to the bottom. I push off the railing, back into the room, and decide to do just that. Maybe do more floating than sinking. Looking through my suitcase, I pull out the bikini set that Cordelia had picked out for me and as I stare at it a little longer, I decided against wearing it. I think all I need is to linger for a while, and dipping my feet in would be enough. I stay in my tank top and shorts, bringing only a towel with me that would double as a blanket.

Thankfully I paid attention to at least the most important part of the house tour, which was how to get to the main living room again. I made my way down the main staircase and to the safe zone. The living room was overlooking the backyard, making it easy for me to access the pool. Pushing one of the mosaic doors open, the unfamiliar cold air of Avignon hit me all at once. At first, it's a bit too cold, but as I gently close the door behind me and fully meet the wind, it feels like a new friend.

And then I look just a little bit to the right, where he somehow showed up in the several minutes it took me to get down here. Awake, just as I.

There he is, leaning against the edge of the pool, his arms spread and propped up. He's looking up at the sky, completely unaware that I'm here watching him and I feel like a bit of a stalker. There's a part of me that's upset he's swimming in his own pool at this hour. It means no sinking to the bottom tonight.

Walking closer to the pool, I think about how I could've just gone back instead and he wouldn't have even known I came out here. But then I remembered Cordelia's words, and maybe this had been the right timing to see if there was still us, Vera and Damien. I reach the edge, the shallow end, and wrap the towel around me for warmth before sitting down and letting my legs meet the water. The sound of the ripple gets his attention and his eyes are now locked on me.

"Hey," he blurts out, bringing his arms down and straightening out. He's nearly all the way in the deep end, making me think about just how tall he is.

"Ah, sorry to startle you. I just couldn't—" My face is warm, a bit embarrassed.

"Sleep." He fills in, knowing me all too well. I nod.

"Me either. Went for a run and came out here to cool off." He explains, his gaze on me never faltering.

It's silent for a while until the both of us try to speak up, interrupting each other by accident. We both laugh, and the noise is sweet to hear. Even though the both of us are at opposite ends, it's good to know that there's still space to surrender.