Pizza My Heart (Fatgum x female reader)

Chapter 1

I stare at my naked body in my full length mirror for what feels like the thousandth time, hoping that this time all the work I've put into it will be enough for me. Hoping that I can see past the stretch marks and the loose skin that lingers from my previously fat body. Who am I kidding? I still feel fat. My scale might not agree, but I can't help how I feel about my image.

It's been two years since I've reached my goal weight and I can tone all I want, I can diet until I'm eating like a rabbit during a drought, but I don't know if I'll ever be happy with how it all looks in my reflection. These scars are deeper than my skin and have been here for a long time.

I shower quickly, making sure to get all the sweat off me from my morning workout before I squeeze into my favorite pair of spanx and slip into my professional black pants and flowy lilac top. The long sleeves do a great job of hiding my flabby arms and I hook a black blazer over my shoulder bag to wear in case the office gets cold.

My phone rings as I'm packing my lunch and I inwardly groan as I see the caller ID.

"Hi mom" I say tightly, wishing silently that this won't be a long conversation.

"Y/n! Great news! I just talked to a plastic surgeon practice and they said they can schedule you for a consultation next week." She responds cheerfully.

"Mom, you know I have a problem with anesthesia. I can't have elective surgery. We've been over this." I try to keep my tone away from hateful. We've talked about this numerous times and I'd love to get the extra skin off me, but I stopped breathing for two full minutes when I had to get a metal bar put in my leg to fix a bad break a few years ago. It's not something I want to try again.

"Honey, you should really go talk to them. I know how unhappy you are, and when you do this, you can like how you look and even Mike will like the change!"

Mike is my long term boyfriend that was my big push for losing all the weight fast. He lost a lot of weight a few years into our relationship and told me I could lose the belly or lose him. He's all I've ever known so I wanted to hold on. I'm not so sure I would make the same choice today if given the ultimatum, but I'm too scared to be alone.

We've been living together for the past couple years right after I hit my goal weight and not all of our time has been bad. I really like when I can convince him to just stay in and snuggle with me in front of the TV. He might eye me judgmentally when I pop a bowl of butter free, unsalted popcorn, but it's a rare treat for me and I try not to feel too guilty about the calories.

"What if I like how I look, mom?" I ask, finishing up packing my lunch and grabbing the rest of the things I need for work before kissing a sleeping Mike on the forehead and heading out of the apartment. He's been working the night shift on Monday's for the last few months. With his strength quirk, he looks very intimidating and it makes him perfectly suited to work security at a factory that builds medical equipment.

"We both know that's not true, y/n." She sighs like she's tired. It irritates me. She always pulls this crap right as I have to go somewhere and it sticks with me all day. "As your mom, I just want you to be safe, healthy and happy."

"I know, mom. I know." It's easier to get her off the phone if I just agree. "I'm getting into the car now, and I don't want to be on my phone while I drive."

"Alright, honey! Have a good day at work! Say hi to Mike for me!" She says cheerily from the other side of the line like she didn't just make me feel more self conscious about how I look today.

I try to shake it off on my ride to work, weaving through the morning traffic as I make my way to the office. I work as an office manager at a hero agency, but some days I just feel like an overpaid secretary. It's good work and most days I leave feeling fulfilled in what I do. Unfortunately, have to talk to people so there are always those assholes who take out their frustration on the first person they come across, deserved or not.