Twelve

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I took a break today so sorry for the inactivity. I have written like crazy and needed to enjoy my vacation but here's yet another chapter. Hope you like it
xx

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It was time for the occasional family lunch, something that Wilhelm felt very happy his parents would not attend. All he would have to do was mingle, which he hated. He didn't seem to understand the point of having meaningless awkward conversations with people just for the sake of politeness. But his dislike with these sort of events became much less important when he remembered Erik wasn't there anymore. One of the last things Erik told him was to go and talk to people, enjoy it, so that's what he would do.

The family lunch also made him happy because he could see how much it meant to Simon. His happiness kind of mattered more that Wilhelm's. Simon had been buzzing the whole week. He had sent his mom a list of foods and snacks to bring him. The reason for this was that people from school were going camping that weekend instead of home to their parents. Wilhelm and Simon were going to share a tent, everyone were going to eat marshmallows in front the fire, and there would be alcohol.

"Your mom is outside" Wilhelm told Simon looking out the window.

"I'll see you at lunch" Simon said before leaving the room.

Wilhelm had been placed next to Felice, with her parents, and august, next to him his mom and stepdad. Typical. Wilhelm wanted to find out who made these table arrangements and file a complaint.

Wilhelm kept conversation light and polite. Everything was going steady. It was mostly the parents talking, and then of course Felice and Wilhelm. August was quiet.

"We are so thrilled Felice was invited to the royal ball" Felice's mom said to Wilhelm.

"Oh it was my pleasure" Wilhelm assured her.

"August is attending as well" his step dad added.

"Oh really" Felice said not even trying to sound the tiniest bit excited about the announcement.

"Well I'm royal so not very hard to believe" August said in the same way as Felice.

"Yes of course, but titles aren't all, right? You never know anything about a person from their last name, their happiness, decency, economic situation" Felice said putting a lot of pressure on the last part. August looked furious.

"Very true Felice" August's mom said. Felice smiled at her.

"Maybe you two should go together" Felice's mom proposed and Felice almost choked on her food.

"I said the same thing but she doesn't seem to be interested" August said knowing well why she declined his offer.

"Why is that Felice? You will need a date" her mom said trying to make her daughter seem less of a little brat with too high expectations.

"It's fine mom" Felice said with a low voice.

"Well you couldn't go with me now that you and Sara are in a relationship" August said and the entire table became silent.

"What are you talking about? What is he talking about Felice?" Her mom asked frustrated. Felice was frozen. So was Wilhelm.

"Is this true?" Her dad said pushing Felice further into herself.

Felice looked over to the table where Sara sat. The light of the sun shining from the large windows complimented her so, though it looked more as if the light came from Sara. Sara gave Felice light.

"Yes. Okay?" Felice said in a steady note. Her parents were dead silent.

"I'm gay. Deal with it" she continued before leaving the table. Wilhelm lay one last look at her parents. They made him want to barf. Wilhelm ran after Felice.

Wilhelm found her in the library behind a shelf on the floor. He sat down.

"Is it gonna suck like this for a long time?" Felice asked without acknowledging Wilhelm.

"I don't know. I don't think so" Wilhelm answered. It was quiet. It was as they had agreed and understood that they were unchangeably in the same situation.

"We fear all bad things so that it is commonly said that fear is an expectation of bad things" Wilhelm said and Felice looked at him with a questioning face.

"It's Aristotle. His take on fear and courage. We've been taught that what we are doing" he said meaning the gay stuff.

"-is wrong. That's why we fear coming out. That's why our parents fear for us coming out. It's wrong to be us, and they're more scared of that wrongness than the gayness itself" Wilhelm said. He was almost impressed with himself even though he had practically copied one of his old essays.

"Damn you're smart" was all Felice could get out. It was quiet again.

"So you and Sara?" Wilhelm asked.

"Yeah" she said and smiled from the second Sara's name was mentioned.

"She was waiting for me to come out" she started. Wilhelm listened.

"I was so grateful for that. But I wasn't ready" she continued.

"That asshole August needs to find a hobby or something" she said annoyed.

"Are you coming to the camping?" Wilhelm asked.

"If my parents let me now" she said and was once again reminded of that horrible moment just minutes ago.

"There you are" said Simon with Sara as they found Wilhelm and Felice sitting on the floor.

Felice told Sara about what had happened and somewhere along the way they forgot about Simon who was standing there quite confused.

"Oh yeah Simon" Sara said when she noticed his oblivious face.

"I'm with Felice" she said.

"Sorry I didn't tell you. She wasn't ready to come out" Sara said and barely finished before Simon hugged her.

Wilhelm looked up at the paintings of old men on the wall above them. He couldn't help but imagine them looking at the four of them. It made him laugh thinking of how uncomfortable and threatened they would feel if they saw the four queer students talk openly about emotions and same sex attraction right in the library of one of Sweden's most prestigious schools.

They were leaving for the camping trip later that night and were all extremely excited for all the fun they would have. The only thing that scared Wilhelm was the fact that there would be third year students with them. People like August. Well no one quite as bad as August but same idea. Wilhelm just wanted a weekend of drama free fun. Boy was he wrong.

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