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The final days of December trickle by, slowly but surly. The castle remains as glamorous as ever, still covered in the glistening snow and rows of tall Christmas trees lined the halls, covered in ornaments placed so perfectly it could have been magic. Which of course, it was.

I spent the last days of the holiday mostly in my dorm. I read three books, start to finish, and I finished off the box of chocolate frogs from Lee, never once changing out of my sweater Mrs Weasley made for me. Hermione would come in every now and then to check on me, reminding me that I can't hide away forever.

   I was low on candy, the one thing I wanted more than anything when I was sad, and I wasn't desperate enough to try the candy Fred had gotten me for Christmas. Too afraid and too guilty to touch them. I pulled on a new sweatshirt and over that a thick flannel. I kept my sweats on and pulled on boots, topping my tangled hair with a beanie. There was a Hogsmeade trip today, the last one before second term. I thought I'd visit Honeydukes and restock.

   I waited until mid afternoon, when I figured anyone who wanted to go had gone. I walked through the mostly empty common room, keeping my head down as I went, trying to avoid any confrontations. My footsteps echoed as I walked through the tall hallways, lined with glittering candles which spelled of old leather, a smell that I will forever associate with Hogwarts.

   The corridor opens up to the wide courtyard, covered in snow. The sun is hidden by dark clouds. Thick flakes fall into my hair and melt on my face. The cold is comforting in a way I couldn't explain. I trudged on, counting my steps as a distraction. I had made it to step 371 when I heard feet crunching in the snow behind me. I pulled my beanie down farther to cover my eyes as much as I could.

   I kept walking and I sighed as I began to recount my steps starting from one. I know Hermione would find it quite fascinating just how many steps it took me to get there. The crunching of the snow behind me stops. "Y/n?" The voice I assume belongs to the snow cruncher behind me says and I stop in my tracks, my stomach dropping. I turn slowly, inching the bottom of my beanie up.

   A boy stands there, a bright orange blanket wrapped around his shoulders, large mittens on his hands, and a walk that could wake sleeping beauty. Lee throws his arms around me, squeezing me so tightly I'm afraid my eyes would pop out.

   "Lee.." I say in a strained voice. Even though I was being crushed, I wrap my arms around his surprisingly cold body. With all those layers it would seem impossible to be affected by the cold. He pats my back twice before releasing me. He stands back and I watch as his eyes drop to my feet, up to the top of my soaked beanie, and back to my feet.

   "You look awful."

   "Oh thanks, Lee, you have no idea how much that means to me!" I snap and his hands fly up to surrender.

   "Sorry y/n but someone had to say it." He rubs his hands together. "Hermione says you haven't come out of your dorm for a few days. Is that true?"

   "Have you seen me around Lee?" I ask, my fuse running lower than usual. He shakes his head somberly.

   "No, no I haven't. She also says you've been in your sweater from Mrs. Weasley for days as well." He inspects my clothes. "Unless it's under that sweatshirt, that's a good sign. Improvement!" He says triumphantly. I shake my head and try to fight the smile growing on my face. "But really...how are you?"

   There it was. I knew I needed to talk about it eventually but I wasn't ready. Not ready to relive it all again. I think I spent so much time reading about other people's lives and journeys just so I could avoid mine for a while. I kick what was left of a snow ball, sending bits of snow rolling down the pathway.

Fred Weasley x readerWhere stories live. Discover now