bloom • sirius black • marauders era | book one

chapter nineteen

1975

Jones Manor

Fourth Year

The day of the ball had arrived and I couldn't explain the jitters I suddenly felt. Perhaps I could chalk it up to the new environment and people I'd be around but it didn't seem right.

If I was honest with myself, the nerves spiked when I thought of a particular guest who was to come.

Black still remained a polarizing individual in my mind. He'd tormented my best friend and as an extension me for years. When he wasn't doing that he ignored my presence and only regaled me as 'Lily's sister' just like everybody else.  But he'd also completely changed as of recently, suddenly finding an interest in me. I initially thought of it as a nuisance but I now could admit it'd been flattering.

I wasn't sure of his intentions but no one had asked me about my day or how was I doing as genuinely as he had before. I was content with my group of friends but I found myself thinking what was the harm in another? Black had shown me extreme kindnesses as well as opened my eyes to hard truths that I would've otherwise ignored. At times I was resentful but in the end, I knew it was for my own good.

Although I was hesitant of his motives I could see myself befriending him. The more I spent time with him and learned about his backstory I came to understand him. Black had arrived each time I needed someone and offered me actual advice and comfort. Maybe in another world, we could be friends. Unfortunately, in this one, he'd caused a lot of hurt to people dear to me and it was something I could not easily forgive.

Besides that, I had also completely humiliated myself in front of him the day he found me in the empty corridor. After we reached the Common Room and parted ways the realization of what happened set in. The way I cried in his arms and sought out his warmth for comfort was not an experience I ever thought I'd have or wanted. I couldn't believe he'd seen me so weak and I felt ashamed whenever I thought of it.

To his credit, he'd tried to check up on me but I dodged him each time. He must've gotten the hint because he, along with everyone else, left me alone. As I passed by him in the hall or Gryffindor Tour he offered me a kind smile that I was scared to return for some reason. I also felt the prickling of being stared at during mealtime but I couldn't bring myself to snap at him like I would've done before. I wasn't sure what that said but I just knew things were different from before.

At the time, I had enough dealing with my broken heart to look into anything else. I locked away every other emotion and focused on my sorrow. Those couple weeks were incredibly unhealthy but I was determined to do better now. I needed to mend myself to be able to heal my relationships with everyone else.

As I took in the beauty of Hestia's manor and garden I could feel myself coming back to who I once was. I didn't realize how deeply I had dug myself until I was out of the hole of despair I'd been in. I was getting better and it was time for me to take further steps to improve.

With a sudden conviction, I decided that Black would be the first on my list of people I would fix things with. We weren't friends but he'd done a lot for me and he deserved a word of thanks at the very least. If it went south then I could at least say I tried and move on.

"Do you like my dress? I know we spent ages choosing but maybe I should've gone with the periwinkle instead," she questioned looking dejectedly into the mirror as we were getting ready. Usually, I would tease her but I could see she was in actual distress. I could empathize with the ball of nerves she was dealing with but she didn't need to know that.

In an effort to comfort my friend, I reached for her fluttering hands to still them in mine.

"Hestia, you look beautiful," I was telling the truth. Hestia had chosen a maroon gown that complimented her dark skin perfectly. It hugged her in all the right places and it almost seemed like it was made just for her.

At my words, Hestia finally seemed to settle and she offered me a smile of thanks. I couldn't let the moment get too sappy though, "As a matter of fact, once Stephen sees you through Floo he'll fill the whole country with his drool and we'll have to be evacuated before the night can even start."

I couldn't help my laughter and Hestia swatted my arm, "If I didn't love you so much, I'd really hate you right now!"

This made me laugh harder and as Hestia joined in Mrs. Jones arrived, "You two seem to be having a grand time in here."

We really were; I don't think I'd laughed this hard in ages. I felt so carefree and happy alongside Hestia.

Mrs. Jones continued, "I just wanted to see if you were almost ready. Guests are due to arrive soon and I was hoping you could help me with some last-minute things."

"Of course, we'll be down in a minute, mum," Hestia replied.

"Okay, dear," Mrs. Jones stopped as she was walking to the door, "Prim, that dress looks gorgeous on you."

This took me off guard but I quickly thanked her and she exited. It wasn't that I didn't like my dress but receiving compliments was a rare occurrence I didn't know how to deal with. I always faded in the background or dimmed when standing next to Lily. I was happy to do my own thing and not raise attention. That was the old Prim though, now I would take it all in stride and do my best to shine.

Hestia looked at me affectionately from her place in front of the mirror, "It really is a lovely dress."

I smiled at her and smoothed out my cream-colored dress. It flowed quite nicely and I especially liked the silk material it was made out of.

"Well, you helped me pick it out so thanks." I would have to work on my response to compliments, that was for sure.

She rolled her eyes playfully and started making her way out the door but called over her shoulder, "You'd be absolutely lost without me."

I mean, she wasn't wrong...