bloom • sirius black • marauders era | book one

chapter twenty-seven

1976

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Fourth Year

"We need to talk."

These were the only words Severus said before whipping around and stalking away. He headed towards one of the alcoves that provided a bit of privacy at least to the average passersby.

This conversation was long overdue so I begrudgingly followed him. I knew it was bound to happen but I didn't expect it to happen so soon or so abruptly.

We finally stopped a little further ahead and faced each other. The silence loomed between us heavily. It was stifling and I hated what our friendship had come to.

I would've once been ecstatic about a visit from Severus and went right into talking his ear off. Now I didn't even know where to start.

I tried, "I thought you were studying with Lily."

He bluntly answered, "I was but I had this to do."

As though, he was here performing a chore or tiresome homework assignment. What happened to the boy I'd called my best friend for years? Love aside I was supposed to be able to call him a friend and he could barely look me in the eye. I couldn't help but wonder what I'd done to deserve this treatment.

"Did you have something you wanted to say, Severus?"

He just about rolled his eyes, "You're still
behaving strangely. It's uncalled for and to be frank it's causing quite the upset."

"Quite the upset?"

He cleared his throat, "Yes, Lily seems down when she's in my company as of late and I can only account it to one thing; this rift between us."

Where had this regard ever been for me? I was always the second choice, an afterthought, an inconvenience at least according to him.

"So what, Severus? What are you here for? You're obviously not here to apologize, or make things right," I replied in a cold tone. It must've shocked him to hear me speak to him like this based on the look he was giving me.

"What exactly would I have to make right? I'm not the one who's been acting like she can't deign to talk to me. Those Gryffindor's finally get to you? Now you see me as Big Bad Snivellus," his tone was vicious and I nearly flinched at his words but held strong.

I looked him square in the eyes, "You're a rubbish friend, Severus. I've been miserable for weeks and you don't even bother to ask me if I'm okay. All you care about is yourself and Lily. I've been there for you, defended you, and looked after you but I can't get a bloody hello during some of the worst days of my life. You don't care about me, you never did. You know, you've made me feel like a fool for ever having called you a friend. Lately, it feels like you never really were one, at least to me."

"So that's it? You throw our friendship away over some ridiculous notion you've curated all on your own? Maybe you are a fool, Prim," he said bitterly.

This was the moment I couldn't hold it back any longer and the tears began pouring in an endless stream. Severus didn't notice or more likely care. He'd crossed his arms and checked out of the conversation before I could answer.

I'd held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd be remorseful or even miss me as much as I missed him and we'd be friends again but it was all for nothing. He didn't care, this was just a courtesy call to ease Lily's worries. I didn't blame my sister though, my hurt and resentment was aimed solely at Severus.

I summoned all the strength I had left for these last words, "I threw the friendship away the moment I realized you had. I'm sick of meaning so little to someone I love so much. It's not fair. I know you want to have me follow you around like a pet and worship the ground you walk on like I used to but I'm done with it. Don't worry, now you can focus all your energy on Lily. I won't be there to interrupt or annoy you anymore. I know she's it for you. Maybe you just didn't have enough room in your heart for me. I loved you though Severus and I hope you know this kills me. I wanted you there every step of my life but it's obvious the feeling wasn't mutual. I'd wished I'd known sooner but thank you at the very least for the memories."

As I spoke the tears continued until I could barely see the boy standing in front of me. Wiping away a few drops did little to help but at least my vision wasn't as blurry.

It almost looked like regret in Severus' eye but his next words rid me of these thoughts, "Goodbye, Primrose."

An entire friendship of years down the drain with no fight. After this, he walked briskly into the darkness of the halls and disappeared from view.

I knew I had to compose myself before going back into the Common Room but it was proving difficult. Each time I thought I was getting my tears to stop a fresh wave would come. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again. This had an air of finality even I couldn't deny.

"Oi! Prim! You out here?"

Of course, Sirius was here when I was in this sorry state. It was like he was psychic and knew exactly how I was feeling and where to find me.

I barely had time to contemplate hiding or some other means of avoidance when he came into view.

He came rushing over as soon as he saw me and I was promptly wrapped up in his arms. I returned the hug as tightly as I could.

Who would've thought Sirius would be such a good hugger? He was though; from his soothing scent to his arms that felt like safety itself.

He cradled my head and began petting my hair in a way that reminded me of that fateful day in the corridor. The whole situation was giving me deja vu. Severus breaking my heart and Sirius showing up to fix everything. He wiped my tears, offered me comfort, and cheered me up in a way no one else had.

Eventually, my sobs subsided and my tears dried up. Sirius didn't let me go though and continued his gentle ministrations, "What happened?"

"Severus showed up." Sirius' hand froze and I thought it meant he was done with his embrace but when I moved to let go he didn't.

The stiffness of his body abated and he began petting my hair again, "You'll be alright. I'm here, okay? Not going anywhere."

Nuzzling into the crook of his neck, I answered in barely a whisper, "Okay."