bloom • sirius black • marauders era | book one

chapter eight

1975

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Fourth Year

I didn't know what a big part of my life Severus was until he started avoiding me.

We would read and discuss books sitting out on the grounds. The library was our favorite and we often spent the day doing work in each other's company. We'd walk by the lake, catching up or talking about whatever menial topic that crossed our minds.

Of course, I had Lily but she had her O.W.L's to worry about and Prefect duties were taxing.

Hestia was also an amazing best friend but between practicing for Quidditch and getting to know a cute Hufflepuff boy her time was filled. Luckily we had meals and classes together to compensate so we weren't at all distant.

I had to occupy myself with reading and playing chess in the Common Room. I wasn't complaining because I really did enjoy it but I couldn't help but miss Severus.

"Hey, Evans," to my surprise Black sat down on the couch next to me and I put down the book I was reading. The Common Room was fairly empty and there was only a group of first years doing homework by the window.

After the exchange we had by the tree, he didn't suddenly go back to sitting with me at meals or running into me in the corridors but I'd started seeing him around a lot more. When I did he'd give me a smile or a nod which I guess meant he no longer hated me. I couldn't decide how that made me feel.

"Hey," I found myself saying. I couldn't bring myself to be mean especially since he really hadn't done anything and I was feeling so down over my estrangement with Severus.

Then he really surprised me, "Listen, I know it's not my place but... you've seemed a bit down lately. You okay?"

No one had really asked me that and I felt oddly thankful. Lily reasoned Severus and I would eventually makeup so there was no point in agonizing over it. I suspected Hestia was actually glad Severus wasn't around since she didn't like him to begin with.

It wasn't like I could tell them how troubled I was anyway. If I did then I'd have to reveal the growing unease I felt about Severus. The person he was turning into under the guidance of his friends was scary.

I'd always admired and even looked up to the boy. As I had recently discovered I also loved him as more than a friend. That's what made it so incredibly hard for me to accept he wasn't as perfect as I thought. It felt like I was saying goodbye to the Severus I once knew.

I decided to be honest for the first time in a while, "Not really, Severus hasn't been talking to me."

Black was at the root of my problem with Severus. He was the only person I could vent to without having to explain the situation. Hell, he'd been the one who started it all. In any case, it wasn't like I cared what he thought of me or Severus.

"Count yourself lucky then!" he laughed. I glared at him and he cleared his throat, "Does it have anything to do with that conversation we had a while ago?"

I nodded, "I know you're biased because you don't like him but I'm afraid there was some truth to what you said."

I'd been thinking about everything Black mentioned and it was part of the reason I still hadn't reached out to Severus. I was unsure and a ball of mixed emotions.

"Well you're not wrong, I hate the git. That doesn't mean what I said wasn't true," he supplied.

"That's my point, you somehow got into my head and now I'm stuck rethinking wondering where everything went wrong," I pushed back the brown locks of hair that had fallen in my face as I talked; Black's eyes followed my movements. "I'm not completely oblivious, I see how he is with you and your mates but you guys deserve it. It's like you're always trying to get a rise out of him. No, I'm more worried about the way he treats people when his friends are around."

Black had actually patiently waited for me to finish and didn't even interrupt when I mentioned the Marauder's treatment of Severus.

"I'm still convinced Snivellus has you and Lily under the Imperius Curse," Sirius commented. I didn't care that Severus and I were on the outs, I wouldn't take Black disrespecting him. As I was about to get up and walk away he continued, "He just thinks he's so much better than everyone; I can't stand the git. I've heard how he and his friends talk down on the Muggleborns. What if that were you or Lily?"

I jumped to defend my friend, "He would never!"

"So that makes it okay for him to do it to other people?" he countered.

I didn't know how to respond at that point. It was getting harder to disagree with what Black was saying and I hated it. I loved Severus, in all sense of the word, I just wish he would rethink his friendships.

I rationalized that if it weren't for Avery and Mulciber, Severus wouldn't engage in such heinous acts. They were tainting his mind with blood purist ideals and the dark arts. I had previously caught Severus looking into these things but I found myself ignoring it. With Black pointing it out so blatantly, I no longer could.

"It's his friends, he would never say or do those things if he weren't forced to," It didn't even sound like I was trying to convince Black. It sounded more like I was trying to reassure myself.

"How long are you going to excuse his shitty behavior?" I stayed quiet and he continued, "I've known Prongs since my first day at Hogwarts and I love him like a brother. If he asked me to join the bloody Death Eaters I still wouldn't agree. Snape has as much of a choice as the rest of us. You have to understand, no one's forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to."

I didn't want to admit it but Severus was becoming more and more suspicious. The way he would whisper secretively with the other Slytherins. The times I spied him checking out books about curses and hexes from the library. In particular, the awful way he treated other Muggleborns in the company of his friends. It was hard to see and accept the drastic changes in his personality. I had my eyes closed for so long and the person I least expected was opening them.

I was close to tears and Black just watched me as I processed everything. He gave me a sympathetic look and reached over to squeeze my shoulder in an effort to console me.

I appreciated how kind he was being to me. It really was a new side of him I'd only ever seen him show to his friends. I could've sworn he was about to say something else when I heard a voice clear their throat behind me.

I whipped around and I saw Hestia looking at the hand on my shoulder scrutinizingly. Black still hadn't retracted it and I shrugged it off. The last thing I needed was my friend reading into something that wasn't there.

Hestia finally spoke up, "Severus' waiting outside. He wants to talk to you."

She'd probably just come back from the Quidditch pitch judging from the state she was in. The season was fast approaching and she practiced on her own a lot. Hestia was one of the Chasers and she worked hard to keep up with Potter who was quite talented.

Throwing a glance at Black, I saw him grimacing at the mere mention of the boy.

I'd have to go outside and see what Severus wanted. I readied myself by blinking away the tears in my eyes and smoothing down my skirt nervously. I suppose it was now or never.

"Um... Thanks for the chat, Black." I said a bit awkwardly. It was unusual to not be speaking to him angrily or chastising him for something.

Hestia was still looking trying to figure out what'd happened. It was no secret I wasn't a fan of Black and to see him comforting me in a moment of obvious vulnerability must've thoroughly confused her.

With a parting smile I stood already heading to the portrait to meet Severus. Before I left though I heard him mutter in a strained voice, "Don't sweat it, Evans."